Painful sex post baby

[Itsmynamechange]

This is all a bit embarrassing so I have name changed. I have had several children and have noticed after each baby that I am tighter not looser. I had thought after the first that things would loosen up with second and subsequent babies but it's getting worse. I've not had any major tears and haven't even needed stitches even after my last baby who had a mahoosive head so I don't have masses of scar tissue or owt. It's been nearly a year since last baby was born.

DH & I had sex over the weekend (not the first time since baby was born but it's been fairly infrequent and it has hurt mildly every time since the birth but goes away after a few seconds/minutes). I had to ask DH to stop as it was hurting so much (not his fault and to his credit he stopped immediately). There had been plenty of foreplay so it wasn't a quickie and DH wasn't being rough or deliberately hurtful but it still felt like I was being split open and my cervix felt really bruised. I ended up crying afterward we stopped as it still hurt (and I still feel tender today).

What can I do to stop sex hurting? I'm not being forced/coerced into sex, I can say no to him and he doesn't try to change my mind so any relations are mutually desired.

I really want to enjoy sex with my husband but it just seems to hurt. We use condoms as contraception and I am breastfeeding if that info is of any use. I am planning to get the coil fitted when baby is a year.

[AllSheepareWhite]

Sounds like there is something else going on here that may require a visit to the GP. One question though are you near the time your period will be starting? I know I can become quite tender inside around that time. I am also breastfeeding (DD 13 months) so don't think that will be it other than tiredness interfering with libido which is totally normal. If you are near your period try again mid-cycle as you may find it more comfortable then (could be to do with lubrication which is affected by hormones) or you can buy lube and try another time in the cycle. Alternatively you could have some low-grade infection (see GP for swab and urine sample to be sure) or a sensitivity to the condoms.

[JemAndEllie]

Without TMI, does it hurt deep inside near the cervix or along the walls? it may be sign of a slight infection. Sometime near ovulation a woman can experience slight pain. But if it left you in tears i would definitely recommend a trip to the GP. a simple routine swab should rule out the infection and you can take it from there. I suffer from painful intercourse and was diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, which is treated with antibiotics.

[Itsmynamechange]

AllSheep -not had any periods yet or any signs of ovulation.

Jem - It hurt at the front of the wall (i.e. if it was a clock it would have hurt at 12 o'clock and at 6 o'clock) and my cervix felt bruised and swollen. I have been told I have endometriosis (sp?) but have never had any treatment for it.

I guess I need to bite the bullet and see the GP (I have yet to have my 6 week check up).

[Itsmynamechange]

I had GBS whilst pg with last baby - can that cause pain?

[Dinkytinky]

I'm not sure if it could be any help but could it perhaps be a pro-lapse? Sometimes with big babies everything can be shifted down a bit and make sex painful, does it feel normal inside to you? (sorry if tmi)

[MrsSawdust]

I wondered about a prolapse too when I read the op. My freind had one and your symptoms sound similar to hers. Think you should get checked out at gp.

[Itsmynamechange]

It feels a bit 'crowded' to me (and DH) but a pro-lapsed womb hadn't occurred to me. Sounds like I really need to get checked out - I could have my smear done at the same time I'm over due for that too

[sapphireblue]

if you have yet to have your 6 week check does that mean you gave birth less than 6 weeks ago? If so then I wouldn't expect things to back to normal that quickly tbh.........

[sixesandsevens]

apparently breastfeeding makes you very, very dry inside, and also makes your cervix erm .. can't remember the word they used, but also very dry and not like it is normally!

I'm sure that's probably the reason, although defo worth a visit to the GP to make sure ...

[Itsmynamechange]

sapphireblue - No baby was born nearly a year ago it has been a busy year - baby has been in hospital a lot and so have I so haven't got round to making that appointment.

sixesandsevens - I'm a long term breastfeeder and haven't noticed quite the same effect on my cervix with any of my older DCs (in fact have conceived very easily whilst bfing). I can attest to the fact that there was a lot of natural lubrication as I was still wiping it up the morning after!

[Ceasnake]

I was going to suggest that it could be vaginismus but as it's suddenly seemed to have got much worse, that seems unlikely. I sympathise as I'm in much the same boat, except my son was only born 5 months ago and I had a second degree tear, so I'm hoping that things just need a bit more time to heal completely.

I would see your GP and get them to have a look.

For what it's worth, I find using condoms much more painful than not, there seems to be more friction.

[kittyonthebeam]

your symptoms sound like my mum's. She's hd a mild prolapse. Any chance you can see a doc and rule out infection then see specialist for 'prolapse'?

[Dinkytinky]

Your 'crowded' feeling does seem to sound like a prolapse- my sister said the exact same thing.
Fwiw, she had a very small operation and was fine after 4 weeks so there is hope!
Have you made an appointment for GP yet?