Staying with husband for the children

[Madigan]

I have no doubt I would have left H by now, save for the fact we have 3 young children and I cannot bear for them to have a broken home.
H is an uber-alpha male; very successful. He has no emotional side. He gives me zero emotional support, and has hugely undermined my confidence. Most of the time we seem to get on ok (he is away a lot, which works well...), but we regularly have huge rows - when he basically rants at me for hours - and these rows leave me feeling absloutely devastated and exhausted. We had one yesterday and I am still reeling.
I do not know what to do. Is anyone else staying with their husband for the sake of the children, and if so - can it really work?

[cestlavielife]

no it can't. i tried for years.

your home is broken - the children are experiencing these rows.

create two nice unbroken safe homes separately.

[Madigan]

I just do not know what to do ... am I really brave enough to go it alone with 3 children under 3? Not sure.
Saw doctor today and have been given ADs as I just feel so low. Feel very sad today.

[Squitten]

I wouldn't do it. My parents did and it had two consequences for me:

Firstly, my childhood memories are of my parents at each other's throats and I was actually the first person to tell my mother that they would be better off apart (aged about 13)

Secondly, it set me a terrible example about marriage and I struggle not to copy my mother in my own marriage

Children need a happy environment, not an unhappy marriage

[GypsyMoth]

i got out of a broken home with my 4 dc (the broken bit is before you leave,not after,you'll be a lone parent then,which is much better for your dc)

[BigBadMummy]

Please dont stay for their sake.

Do you not deserve to be happy? Do your DCs want to see their mum unhappy? What do you teach your DCs by staying?

There is no stigma attached to children "from a broken home anymore", in fact I don't think anybody gives a stuff.

I know people that have suffered as a result of their parents staying together, remembering the rows, begging them to part.

I split from my ex with three children under 7.

And then six months later met my now DH.

I would like to think that my DCs are well-adjusted children who know that sometimes things don't work.

Talk to them, tell them you both still adore them but you don't love each other anymore and then take steps to leave.

You, and therefore, them will be so much happier.

[celticfairy101]

Try thinking along the lines of co parenting rather than lone parenting though if he doesn't want to co parent he cannot be legally forced into it, though legally he has to give you child support and maintenance.

However be warned. He may well say that he's not leaving, this is his home and if anyone should go it's you. The trick is to get him to leave. This can be very tricky indeed, unless you are prepared to squirrel away money and organise a safe place for you to go with the children. The courts can then force the sale of the house to release equity, though this could take years if there is non-compliance on his part.