Totally Disillusioned

[Succubi]

House has been on the market since January of this year. Had an offer early on and quickly found a place in Essex that we fell in love with and thought wow isn't it going great. Buyer had nothing to sell so thought it would all be reasonably quick. Turned out he lied and actually couldn't afford the house without first selling his flat. So we waited and he finally found a buyer. All back on again and kindly our buyers were prepared to wait but our buyers' sale falls through. He finds another (2nd) buyer (now August) and we were supposed to exchange latest Tuesday of this week but his buyer has got cold feet and we found out yesterday that she has pulled out. I am sat here in tears. I can't delay my children's nursery start in Essex any more and it looks like I am going to have to rent and come off the ladder.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please be kind. All advice. Any advice appreciated.

[NotmylastRolo]

They say that moving home is more stessful than bereavement or divorce and your story proves this is not an exaggeration. You must be tearing your hair out.
Your experience just shows the awfulness of trying to move home in a recession. Buyers are at a premium and property is moving slowly. No one is "safe" in their jobs anymore which makes everyone in the chain nervous and likely to pull out. First time buyers (like my two 20somethings) need a 25% deposit to get on the housing ladder and we need first time buyers to start off the chain.
I really do not like our current house buying/selling system where people can pull out if they get nervous right up until the moment of exchange. I wish offers were binding (my word is my bond etc etc) like they are in Scotland but I guess for that to happen we need more stability with jobs (for those like us and our kids who need mortgages).
I am sorry for your awful experience and it is worse if you are trying to keep it steady for your little ones with nursery. You could try selling your own home and moving into rented. You would then be in a strong position when the right property comes up for you to buy in the area you want and you could chance a "cheeky" offer as you have sold and would be a very valuable cash buyer. It is brave to do this but these are difficult times.

[Succubi]

You are so right. The system sucks. There is no certainty or security and you are at the mercy of time wasters and people who I am convinced view properties as a hobby. I am gutted because I am about to lose the house that I saw my kids growing up in. I feel really bad for the people who we were buying our home from. I feel like I have wasted their time.

[ecuse]

I'm in a similar situation. Took nearly a year to get a buyer, who then dropped out because couldn't secure mortgage. Then we got a new one and a vendor pulled out because his daugther tried to commit suicide so (understandably) he changed his mind about retiring to Ireland. Then our second vendor lost the house they were purchasing and were going to pull out. We persuaded them to try again and we'd wait for them. Just last week they lost a second house and have got so disheartened they're staying put, meaning we've now lost our purchase too. This has been going on 18months. Meanwhile we're still stuck in a 1-bed flat with an 18mo daugther and a small business. I'm at my absolute wits end, there's next to nothing on the market so we're left with a choice of waiting it out, moving to somewhere near primary schools graded "3" or... actually I'm not sure what the third option is. Very unhappy.

[RCheshire]

Just find a rented place that works for schools? We sold, couldn't find anything we liked/at the right price and so moved into rented (partly to ensure we didn't lose our buyer). It allows you to take your time waiting for the right house, priced by someone without their head in cloud cuckoo land.

[NotmylastRolo]

I agree wit RC but it is a brave thing to do (some may say foolhardy but I like a bit if risk!). If you find a buyer and move into rented you are in so many strong positions. You can rent near the right school for your child, experience different living styles in your rented home (you might change your mind over what you might like to buy!), and most importantly be a cash buyer when the right home pops on the market. The downside is being able to resist the pressure to spend the lot on a round the world trip, or a new car, and not be able to afford the area you really want 'cos you made too big a dent in your equity.
Balance it up, know what type of spender/saver you are, and what type of risk taker (or not!) you are and then you have your options (fingers crossed for you!). xx