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Property/DIY

Thinking of pulling out of the chain at the last minute

19 replies

Fiddledee · 20/12/2010 15:38

Probably meant to exchange in a few days. Our first buyer pulled out on us at the same time a few weeks back, we've worked very hard to find another buyer and keep the chain intact. Now we are having serious doubts whether we want to buy the house we are meant to be purchasing - worried its a big black financial hole as the house hasn't been touched for 20 years.

Its a very large house and I think if there any more problesm is another £10-20k each time and we don't have the money.

DH getting annoyed at me, he doesn't want to let people down but I'm worried that we will be so stressed financially that its not worth it.

Currently live in a lovely house which is warm, decorated, nice carpet, near everything except the school DC starting in September! We do have to move for schools. However, I don't want to do 40 minute school run round trip twice day a day (sometimes 3 once DS starts at another school) so that DH can fulfill his dream of living in a village...

Arghhh

OP posts:

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festiveflashingmammaries · 20/12/2010 15:47

If you are both having such serious doubts, pull out. Being let down is part of buying and selling houses. Making bad choices for the sake of the chain shouldn't be.

BigBadMummy · 20/12/2010 15:49

As much as a chain collapsing is a pain in the arse, what is the alternative?

YOu buy the place and, as you suspect, it becomes a money pit, and you hate it.

With you having doubts I would say back out now.

lalalonglegs · 20/12/2010 16:00

Have you had a good survey and have you had someone In The Know look around the house? Just because the house hasn't been touched since the early 1990s, doesn't mean it's about to fall down. I think you are (justifiably) panicking because house buying is so stressful - take stock and think it though carefully. What really worries you? Is there a smell of damp? Sign of water coming through the roof? Cracks in the wall? Or are you just worried about what could be there? (This has nothing to do with my not wanting your chain to collapse by the way, I don't think the issue is about the chain at all.)

campergirls · 20/12/2010 16:11

So you don't really want to move to this village, it's your DH's fantasy and he hasn't thought through the consequences for you. You have come up with the 'money pit' worry as a way out of a purchase you're not that keen on. Is that about the size of it? if so, then really I think you have to talk it over with your dh, if you pull out this time he'll just come up with another house in a village and you'll be back to square one.

MegBusset · 20/12/2010 16:33

Sorry bit confused, is the house you're supposed to be buying further from the DC's school than you are now? Are you definitely guaranteed a place in that school (allocations aren't announced til spring)?

What did the survey say? And why did you want that house originally?

Fiddledee · 20/12/2010 16:40

Survey says some work - new boiler, new windows (at least 20 windows so thats £20k from our experience), new carpets, replaster the ceiling in nearly all the rooms (15 rooms), repaper and redecorate each room, 2 new bathrooms, some woodworm in the garage.
Will need a new kitchen and not that we can aafford it at the moment a kitchen extension. Rewiring throughout. Will need to buy new curtains and new lights throughout.

Roofer says around £10-15k of work, maybe more.

Needs a new drive as well in the next few years - no idea how much that will cost.

Its just that the more we have investigated the more work is needed.

Love to live in the village but don't want a long school run, prefer to live in the city and walk to the schools. Dh doesn't want that. No village closer to the schools that gives DH an "acceptable" commute.

OP posts:

NorthernLurker · 20/12/2010 16:43

Eh? So dh has to be close to work but you can spend your life on the school run?

The house sounds big and scary tbh. If you've got it at a good price and you loved I woul say go for it but it sounds like you and dh need to do a lot of talking first.

Is there anything you really like about this mansion? Can you afford to heat it?

lalalonglegs · 20/12/2010 16:47

Well, it does sound a very big house and unless you have 8 or more children, perhaps larger than you need. Maybe better to wait for something more affordable to come up - this sounds a lot like your husband getting off on being Lord of the Manor.

frostyfingers · 20/12/2010 16:51

Can I ask why you went for it in the first place....the doubts you have now must have been there somewhere. You could have pulled out after the survey or renegotiated price to reflect the amount of work to be done. I'm not saying you should buy it but it is so frustrating when selling that your buyer gets this far and then pulls out.

Obviously if it's wrong then you must stop now, but this situation could have possibly been avoided if you'd voiced your worries earlier.

I think you have to be honest with yourself and DH and stop the process now - there will be more houses somewhere, maybe now is just not the time for you, but next time make sure you're sure before you offer!!!!

MegBusset · 20/12/2010 16:59

Yes echo Frostyfingers. It does sound like a big project and if you're not up for that (which you're fully entitled not to be esp if you don't like the location) then you have to be honest with your DH and your vendor asap, before anyone spends more money on a chain that's going nowhere.

MegBusset · 20/12/2010 17:00

Are there no schools near the village?

Fiddledee · 20/12/2010 17:08

Very little on the market, we need to move and thats why we are in this mess I suppose. There isn't alot of choice of what to buy. We have to move for the next school year and we are not keen on renting.

We've rengotiated on price three times and we are fed up of taking some of the hit for each thing we find. Had voiced my concerns about school run to deaf ears, have been shouting about it alot the last two days seems to be having some impact. DH does love the house but I don't, I prefered another but his commute was too long!

OP posts:

IAmReallyFabNow · 20/12/2010 17:11

While it isn't nice to pull out, as you know yourself, you can not by a house you are unsure about just not to annoy people!

This house doesn't sound the one for you and let me tell you 40 minutes drive each way to the school run is not something you will want to do for upwards of 11 years.

IAmReallyFabNow · 20/12/2010 17:13

by buy

NorthernLurker · 20/12/2010 17:21

Oh dear - sounds like you have totally different expectations of this move and have got this far down the track before voicing them. Not great tbh. YOu need to talk to dh about whether you can bring yourself to be excited about this house. If you can't you need to stop and go back to square one agreeing together what you want.

MyCatJeremy · 20/12/2010 18:39

So you would prefer to spend thousands of pounds on somewhere that will make you unhappy?

Eurostar · 21/12/2010 00:52

Why not keen on renting? It's the perfect opportunity to try out this village life that sounds like it is not going to be at all ideal for you. At least you can test it out before getting into massive commitment. It also puts you in a very good position to buy if you are chain free when you do find a place you can mutually agree on.

15 rooms and 3 DC? Why on earth would you want a place that big unless you are seriously rich? Do you like being cold? How will you afford to heat it? Your life will be one long round of DIY and school runs and taking the DC to see friends/other activities, while DH goes off to work and leads a different life. All sounds a recipe for unhappiness. Is DH of the type that likes to show off to people about his lifestyle?

Fiddledee · 21/12/2010 09:21

We have decided to pull out after 5 hours of discussions last night. I hadn't thought about myself enough but about trying to make everybody else happy and I realised I was making all the sacrifices with little benefit to myself.

We couldn't afford to rent in the village all the houses are quite large and the rent would be unaffordable. We have got alot of equity which makes renting very unattractive.

I feel bad at letting everybody down, we would sell to our buyers but they are unlikely to wait for us to find somewhere else but I suppose thats up to them.

OP posts:

MyCatJeremy · 21/12/2010 14:24

Sounds like you are doing the right thing (although I would still sell yours and rent as the market is so slow).

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