Coping with reception - any thoughts?

[Rebecca41]

Hi, I'm not sure what I'm asking here really, just wondered if anyone had any views.

DS is an August baby, so I deferred his school start till January as I felt he was too young in September. He started 4 weeks ago.

It's a tiny village school, and he already knows the other 9 children in reception. However, he only plays with 2 of them (both girls, both August children), as he says the other kids are "big boys".

So far he likes school, is happy to go there, no tears at the gate, seems to have lots of fun. BUT his behaviour is appalling afterwards. He is SO short-tempered, flies off the handle at the tiniest thing, is clearly exhausted. At bedtime he apologises, saying it's because he's so stressed. I've been walking on eggshells since he started, it's like living with a volcano!

This week he's had an ear infection, and been off sick. And my lovely happy sweet little boy is back. Yesterday he said he wished he was still 3 so he wouldn't have to go to school. He said he liked school but it was very hard work, because they have to "sit quietly and do writing".

I think they're trying to get him to catch up with the rest of the class (who started in Sept) because he seems to be getting so many books to read and words to learn. He loves books and stories, but gets visibly anxious if I get his school reading book out. I don't put any pressure on him at all, constantly telling him that it doesn't matter.

I know it's early days. Maybe I should just sit tight and give it more time? It's just that seeing how he's been this week has really brought home to me how much school is affecting him - he's like a different child.

Should I take him out of school till Sept, and go back then for year 1? Should I have a chat with teacher about the pressure he's feeling? Should I just have him at home for regular "sick days"?

Any thoughts?

[Cyb]

Well its still early days, he's only been there a month! Don't start thinking about having regular sick days or you will ahve the attendance figures to worry about too.

He is probably knackered, there are so many more things to stimulate him, and tire him out

I'm surprised he has books and words to learn, perhaps this is somthing you could bring up with the class teacher. But IIWY I would just make home a relaxed no pressure place.

[thegrammerpolicesic]

Poor you and your poor ds Rebecca.

It is totally normal for them to get grumpy and exhausted. DS was terrible especially towards the end of last term. As soon as the holidays started he reverted to being his normal sweet self.

I feel really sad hearing what your ds said. If he isn't ready for all this, I think your first step should be to go in and speak to the teacher.

Definitely consider some duvet/ sofa days for him - he doesn't legally have to be at school yet.

And absolutely agree with what you're doing about not pressuring him with the books. He will catch up and it's definitely better this way rather than making him even more anxious.

Hope things get better but definitely do speak to the teacher.

[Aranea]

I would have a chat with the teacher about it. He doesn't have to be in full-time education until he is 5, so maybe she might think that some half-days would be sensible so as not to over-tire him? If she's got any sense the last thing she will want to do is over-face him and put him off reading.

[Wheelybug]

No expert on this but I would say not to take him out until september as then he'd have to go into year one without the settling in bit of reception (and then having to catch up even more).

I would say if he's happy going, that's a major bonus and guess the behaviour is tiredness. Also surprised they are making him 'catch up' at this stage. DD1 is in reception and I know there are some children who don't take books home yet because they are not ready for whatever reason and any words are tailored to the individual. They are not expected to be at a certain level.

I would chat to the teacher - s/he must have seen it before with the youngest ones. DD is January born and has just gone full time and loves it but is definitely v. tired.

And.. its almost half term

[Pancakeflipper]

The tiredness/grumpy pants and vile temper is very normal. My boy is 4 and started in September.

Oh boy - it was like an alien walked (well stomped out) at 3.10pm each weekday.

It gets better, then they do grumpy again etc...

I just ensured we had nothing to do after school so he could come home and just chill out.

Sadly the influence of school removes some of their delightful innocence.

[dotty2]

May-born DD1 started reception in Sept - also a v.small village school - and her behaviour after school was simply awful for a few weeks. She screamed the house down and nearly kicked a hole in her bedroom wall one night. I'm sure it was largely tiredness (and hunger - she's always starving when she gets home, in spite of ample lunch). She was also ill lots and we got an attendance letter because she'd missed so much time - even though it was all genuine illness. So I think his behaviour is normal, and it will improve. But the excess reading material etc is perhaps something you might discuss with his teacher?

Oh - and she hasn't really made any new friends either, just plays with the one girl she knew before she started. I worry about that too, and she's still too tired after school for much socialising, which doesn't help. But I just keep reminding myself it's early days and she's very small.

[Lizcat]

DD is a Jan baby and on entry to reception life was very like this for the first half of term. She then gradually improved all through the year to beautiful girl after school in the summer. Come last september and up to Yr1 the demon returned after school and stayed for a whole term.
From talking to her teachers she is a lovely kind thought child who takes part well at school and is described as a delight. In her teachers on words 'She is giving her all at school and has nothing left for home'.
Whilst it is pretty horrific dealing with the demon at home it makes me so proud that the teacher is so complimentary about her I can take nearly anything at home.

[witchwithallthetrimmings]

I think its the combination of being mentally and emotionally tired with not having enough exercise that is the killer. Ime they do not do nearly enough running around at school. spending some time after school having a bit of a run does seem to make the world of difference

[smee]

You could ask the school if he could do just 3 or 4 days a week so not the full 5 - as someone else has said legally he doesn't have to be there until the term after he's five anyway, so I shouldn't think they'd object.

[TuttiFrutti]

I would just sit tight and give it more time.

Don't take "sick days", as he will then have even more catching up to do, plus you would be giving him the message that he can get out of school if he doesn't feel like it. That sounds harsh, but I think they do pick up on the idea that school might be "optional" if given a chance.

It's great that he is happy to go in, and this is the best sign you've got that he is enjoying it when he's there. He will be tired and grumpy at the end of the school day - that's totally normal - but that doesn't mean anything is wrong.

[beagle101]

My DD started reception in September - she is a December baby so almost 5. Like you a small village school and DD was exactly the same as your DS! My sunny girl disappeared, the grumpiness was unbelievable as was the tiredness and it seemed she had so much to do in terms of sounds, reading etc - everyone said to me just wait until January as she will be used to school then - they were right - this term her lunch gets eaten, she is waaay less grumpy and I have been heaving a quiet sigh of relief!

I would endorse the give it some time advice - although if it will make you feel more comfortable why not go and have a chat with the teacher?