opinions needed please

[hennipenni]

DD came home from school very upset today as she'd been kept in at playtime after an incident (more of an accident) in which she was invoved in.
It appears that her teacher didn't ask for her side of the story (it really is quite trivial)am I wrong in thinking that he should have asked for her side before keeping her in and threatening her that he was going to inform me what she was supposed to have done? DD is not a trouble causer (sp)and is being bullied which her class teacher was unable to sort so we had to go via the acting head who is sorting it out instead, she has lost a lot of confidence in herself because of the bullying which we are slowly trying to rebuild without this on top.

Rant over!

[hennipenni]

bump!

[hennipenni]

anybody?

[FernieB]

Sorry to hear about the other difficulties your daughter is having at school.

If it was me, I wouldn't worry too much about this incident. Kids are quite often kept in for being involved in something, whether they were the ringleader or not. Mine have been kept in before for minor things, some of which they did and some they didn't, I tell them not to let it bother them. Teachers cannot see everything which goes on in a classroom and unless they actually witnessed the incident and all that led up to it, it is sometimes difficult for them to know who's responsible.

[AllarmBells]

I really wouldn't take things further at this stage. Focus on getting the bullying sorted out. Help her feel she can trust the teacher to do the right thing, and help her get into the habit of speaking up for herself (politely).

I know it's hard but I would try not to worry. DD has quite a few timeouts and falling overs etc. We do get some tearful incidents where "X hit me and I got timeout" but we just keep telling her "you must tell the teacher what happened".

My DD is not remotely shy, but is a bit dreamy and off in her own world sometimes, and I think she probably gets blamed for things because she doesn't pipe up with an explanation quick enough, so this is what we are trying to teach her to do.

She came home yesterday and said "I got timeout - but it's OK. I like timeout now"

HTH

[hennipenni]

thanks for the replies, we are getting the bullying sorted out, the acting head is very good and I have every faith in her.

I spoke to the teacher today who said that he did ask for her version of it and she burst into tears which he took as being an admission, however as she has so little self confidence in herself she burst into tears because she thought she was going to get into trouble. she likes this teacher but there are afew isshhoooos with class discipline and I hope that he didn't see her as a "soft" target because she won't answer back, although she is gobby enough at home