Not eating at school?

[ihearttc]

DS started reception in september and after a few initial upsets seems to be setting in really well apart from the fact that he is not really eating any lunch.

He is usually a really good eater and would normally eat a decent breakfast,sandwiches,fruit etc/or beans on toast etc for lunch and then a decent tea but since he has been at school he isn't eating hardly eating. Breakfast is an absolute nightmare I think because he is having to have it much earlier so whereas he used to eat some cereal,yoghurt and some fruit I am now struggling to get him to eat half a slice of toast.

They have fruit/veg as a snack at school and DS loves fruit but its normally bananas or raw carrots both of which he won't eat so unless its a apple/pear/satsuma he has no snack either.

He has packed lunches at the moment and he always has stuff he likes in it so today had:-2 mini wholemeal chicken rolls (literally bite size!),a little cube of cheese,tub of grapes/strawberries,cereal bar and a handful of plain crisps with bottle of water. Have just got his lunchbox out and he has had a sip of water and a bite of the roll.

I know he's not going to waste away but its really upsetting me that he is going 6 hours without eating hardly anything. I mentioned it to the teacher last week when she said he was getting very grumpy in the afternoons and she said she would speak to dinnerladies about it but obviously they can't watch him all the time to see if he eats anything. I could bring him home for lunch as Im at home anyway but I think that lunchtime is an important part of school life and that he should be part of it.

Have decided he is going to have school dinners next week and see if that makes a difference...he's not happy about it cause all his friends have packed lunches but he can't carry on like this.

Every morning he says he'll eat his lunch and then everyday he comes out he hasn't!

Is there some magic solution that Ive missed? Just feel awful that its getting colder and colder and he hasn't got any food inside him.

[piscesmoon]

I am surprised that no one has noticed that he hasn't eaten his lunch. I would stick with the packed lunch but get a dinner lady to make a special point of encouraging him and checking it. Maybe he just finds the whole thing too intimidating-you could try asking for a quieter table for him to eat. Is it a big school. I know that mine, at that age,wanted to eat quickly and have more playtime.

[Flyonthewindscreen]

I have the same problem with my yr 1 DD. Her packed lunch is often virtually untouched. I think it is a combination of not having anyone to encourage her to eat and wanting to go off and play with her friends. Talking to your DS's teacher and asking for a message to go to whoever supervises lunchtime would be your best bet. Altho' hasn't worked for me!

[mrz]

As a reception teacher I've got the problem of one of my class who hasn't eaten (at school ) since he started in September. He stays for school lunch and won't touch a thing.
I've spoken to his grandfather who normally collects him and as a last resort telephoned home. They say he doesn't normally eat breakfast so I think 6 hours in school is a long time without food (and in his case a drink - he doesn't like milk or water
Mum sent in a list of what he does like, which frankly is alarming. So if anyone has any suggestions I'd be pleased to try...

[yomellamoHelly]

Have same problem with our ds who's now in Yr1. Basically they go out to play as soon as they've eaten and I think he's in a massive hurry to get outside with all the others (always been a slow eater). Also annoys me when he gets a healthy eating sticker for taking one or two bites of whichever fruit I've given him. (Used to eat most of it.)
He does always eat something as soon as he's out of school though and tea is half an hour after we get in now. Can't see I can do anything else.

[Stinkyfeet]

Ds1 in Yr2 is the same and has been all through Yr1 too. I think it's as yomell says - he just wants to get out and play.

He hasn't wasted away so I don't stress too much about it - he has a snack when he gets home and an enormous tea to compensate.

If anything I get more disheartened making the damn thing when I know he's hardly going to eat any of it!

Not sure about a solution though. The problem with school dinners is that you'll have even less idea of what he's eating. Although if he's not with his friends he may spend less time chatting and more time eating, so definitely worth a try!

[mrz]

Going out to play isn't the problem in my school as children aren't allowed to leave the dining hall until most of the class are finished eating...

[ihearttc]

Thanks for all the messages-at least I know Im not alone!

Think its just really hard because he has gone from a little boy who would literally eat anything and everything to a child who is not eating hardly anything.

I don't think he is too intimidated by the dining room...its an Infants school with 60 in each year so only around 180 children and 30 of them are part time at the moment so about 150 for lunch and they only sit with their class so he knows everyone at least.

I think its mainly because he wants to get out and play quicker...he will normally have a bite of sandwich,couple of crisps and a few grapes/strawberries which is nothing for him but this last week he has come home with no food at all eaten and a couple of sips of water drunk which is why its worrying me even more.

Mrz-is the food the little boy likes really bad then? At least with my DS he actually likes most food and will drink water all day long...its more of a case of not bothering I think. As a teacher do you find that not eating can affect their behaviour at school? I know its a huge change anyway being at school but my normally happy well behaved little boy has become a bit of a nightmare especially in the afternoons which Im convinced is down to not eating much.

I think we're going to try school dinners for a week...there are loads of stuff this week that he loves (last week they had quorn curry and even he wouldn't have eaten that lol!) so will give it a go and see what happens. As you say he might eat more as he's not with his friends and I also thought that at least the dinners ladies could see what he had to start off with whereas with a lunch box they can't really.

We've got parents evening thursday so will mention it again then...other mums will be talking about reading and I'll be talking sandwiches!!

[jellycat]

My ds2, who is in Reception, is a bit like this too. At the beginning of term there were several weeks when he ate absolutely nothing at school. He was at least eating breakfast but was ravenous when he got home. It turned out he was getting stressed about not always being able to sit near his particular friends so his teacher has agreed to make sure he can. He is also quite a slow eater so I am sure he abandons his lunch when he sees the others going out to play. I can't give him school dinners as there is no way he would eat them (and he insists that he doesn't want school dinner even on days when it is something he would eat at home).

Re the snack, I send a fruit/veg snack in for him every day because he wouldn't normally eat what they are given as a snack (which is usually banana, satsuma or whole raw carrot) so he does have something if he's hungry. He rarely eats it though.

We have a reward chart for him which does help. He gets a sticker for eating `healthy' foods. If he eats his fruit/veg at school he gets a bigger sticker than he gets for eating it at home.

[ihearttc]

Thats a good idea actually about sending food in-I had thought about it before but didn't want to seem as though I was making a fuss (think his teacher already thinks Im totally neurotic!)but its silly that he's not eating the snack they have.

He will happily eat most fruit and veg but just doesn't like bananas or raw carrots which is what they seem to have most days.

Is it just me or does anyone else think just a piece of fruit is not much of a snack anyway? Im very aware of healthy eating etc and DS will eat fruit/veg till it comes out of his ears but I can remember being at school and having a biscuit and some milk. Surely they could have some fruit and a biscuit or something to fill them up a bit longer?

[wendacious]

Hi there

My daughter started school 3 weeks ago and won't even eat her own fruit that she takes in with her. She washes her own grapes etc, puts it in her lunch box and knows that it is from home but won't touch it. She was like this in the part time nursery I paid for and took 40 weeks before she would eat for them. She is also not speaking to her teachers but cries it if they are not with her. I now have to make 4 return journeys a day and bring her home for lunch at the teachers request. If another child offers her a sweet she will not take it from them and I have to and she will take it from me. HELP I need to find a job so need to get her settled lol.

[sunnydelight]

If you're struggling to get him to eat breakfast too have you tried one of the liquid breakfast drinks like Up and Go? Supposed to have the same nutrition as a couple of weetabix and tastes like flavoured milk. I finally got it for my eldest as he was flatly refusing to eat breakfast because he said it was too early and I just couldn't bring myself to let him leave the house with nothing.

[ShinyAndNew]

Dd1 is like this. She is a very slow eater and her friends are not. She also doesn't seem to be able to recognise hunger. Dd2 will come and tell you if you are late getting her meal or she wants a snack. Dd1 has never in her life told me she was hungry, even if we have been out all morning and forgotten lunch.

By the time she has finished half a sarnie her friends have eaten their whole lunch and she goes off to play with them. I have talked to the school about this and it helps for a week or two, then they seem to forget.

The only the thing I can do is make sure her lunch is packed with high energy, high calorie things, so that the little she does eat is beneficial to her.

And no fruit is not a snack. A proper snack should contain carbs and protein. So fruit pieces with yoghurt to dip or cheese and crackers with tomato slices.

[wendacious]

She eats well all day and will eat breakfast before school and dinner when I fetch her home and asks for tea as soon as we are in from school and always tells me if she is hungry. I think this problem is separation anxiety for my daughter and not taking things off strangers. She loves school and skips in happily every morning and goes back fine each afternoon. Any ideas on how to get her to start eating in school please. I have tried reward charts, letting her choose a teddy that she can have when she starts eating in school etc. I am at a loss as to what to do next.

[mummytime]

I'm a bit surprised at at my DCs infant school they were not allowed out to play until they had eaten a reasonable amount. In fact if they were slow they had to sit on the slow table (who always go to start lunch at the start of lunchtime) and only allowed to go when they had eaten a reasonable amount.
They've also had stickers, for children who try something new. And constant work on trying just one bite. As well as food topics in class, on healthy eating etc.

Wendacious - could you see if you could stya with her at lunch for a bit, and see if that way you can get her to eat? Does she have any other issues?
I would be working towards her at least trusting food from the Dnner ladies (more than one, so yo don't have melt down if one is off sick).
However I might also ask th GP for advice if she is so anxious about food, there might be someone who can help more.

[wendacious]

Dear Mummytime, thank you for replying to my request for help. I am going to have a word with the headmaster tomorrow as I feel the staff are not willing to encourage her enough to eat at snack time or dinner time and they requested that I bring her home for lunch. I feel this is not helping as she now expects this every day. I want to try one day a week as of Monday that she stays in school and would like them to coax her to eat at least the fruit she brings from home. I am also going to see the GP next week and also the health visitor as she is only not eating when in school. She will eat for friends and family that she sees regularly and will (as all children) say she is hungry when we visit other people. I have broached the subject of staying with her at lunch until she comes to terms with eating without me at school.

My DD is so confident in every other way and I am concerned that the fact that she won't eat or speak to the teachers is having a detrimental affect on her at a time that should be great fun. They have stickers every day and once she has had lunch at home cannot wait to go back. I am beginning to wonder if she thinks strangers are trying to feed her something nasty lol. Will update once the GP has seen her.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

If anyone finds the solution, can you let me know. DD is 9.1, she has a hot lunch at school one day a week, the rest of the time she takes a packed lunch. Inevitably it comes home almost intact. Her class teacher, who is fantastic in so many ways, doesn't stay in the class while they eat, so about 9 9 year olds are left to their own devices. The rule is, as soon as everybody has eaten they are allowed out to play. DD is an extrememly slow eater so I think she gets peer pressure to just put the majority in her bag. One week to go.

[mummytomyprincess]

I also had this problem - mine would skip brekkie and doesnt have milk. However now got her to have a pain au chocolat warmed up and a yoghart plus 2 slices of apple.

Pain not ideal (full of buttery fat) but at least she eats it - I also buy the big ones from Sainsbury's so that fills her.

Lunch Bag she is the same but has admitted that its because she wants to go and play. So now I do one big sandwich I used to cut it into 2's or 4's but now dont I do one slice of bread folded over or a large wrap - she sees this as one sandwich or wrap and tends to eat it. I also put in a drink or smoothie so again if this is all she's eaten at least its filling.

One day I put in a small choc bar which of course she ate I said that if he eats her lunch every day she can have one. The days she left his lunch the following day she didnt get one - 3rd day I gave her one and she ate all his lunch and so on.

We go through fits and starts but I think the best thing is not to overload...so I do sandwich or wrap, drink, yoghart and a choc bar she wont eat her apple or banana but I know she has this at snack time so Im not too worried but do put a smoothie in