4yo getting told off for not sitting still, constantly

[drivinmecrazy]

My DD2 was 4 August 25th, so she is the youngest in her school. Another Mum has a little boy a few weeks older, and they both seem to be getting told off and kept in for 5 minutes during break time more than once a week.
DD2 is sooo little to be at school, it feels wrong that she is doing what is normal to a 4 yo. As friend said this morning, if they had been born marginally later we just wouldn't have these issues because they'd still be in nursery. Is it fair that the same standards are placed on a 4yo as they are applied to a 5yo.
My DD2 isn't an angel by any means, just too exuberant to want to sit still for half an hour assemblies. She and this little boy have barely any stickers on their chart. Surely they must be doing something well.
Such a leap from DD1 who is sailing through school with no negative comments from any of her teachers.

[Runoutofideas]

Poor her - it doesn't seem fair, does it? Surely they can find things she is good at to reward her for? I haven't really got anything useful to say but I'm sympathising as my dd2 is also August born and will I'm sure have exactly the same problems when she goes to school.....

[merrilyverily]

this sounds awful for your dd. you are under no obligation to put your child into formal education until they are 5 (and even then you can choose not to). At this stage in their life being the youngest in the class can be no fun because they just aren't ready for formal learning. You seem to know in your own mind that this isn't a good idea for her. why don't you take her out and put her back in nursery, explaining to her what 's happening of course.

[edam]

Aw, poor dd, does seem very unfair. I thought teachers were at least aware of the issues around summer-born children these days?

Difficulty with taking her out until next year is that she'd have to go straight into Year One which is not ideal.

I'd talk to the classroom teacher, and explain that you don't feel their expectations of her behaviour are reasonable given her age. Ask them how they adjust their practice to reflect the developmental difference between a child who was five in September and one who won't be five until next August...

[drivinmecrazy]

Merrily, we did consider this and nursery would have 'held on' to her for another term but we felt she might then be at a disadvantage in terms of making friends etc. She is only at school 9-12 each day until the summer term. Just feel this teacher is not being completely fair. Thought this kind of thing had been dealt with as they have two reception classes and have recently sorted them so the youngest are in one and the elder in the year in the other class, so had really thought there would be less expectation.
Guess i just have to grin and bear it and hope she learns to get those ants in her pants out before assembly time in future. (Even DD1 cringes from the back when she sees her sister poking her friend or waving to DD1 during prayer time)

[alypaly]

i can see it from both points of view,but if the teacher doesnt set out what she wants in terms of behaviour then it would impact on all the others in the class. Then the teacher would have more problems with all the chidren not conforming...its a difficult one.

[madamearcati]

Would be VERY surprised if assembley really is half an hour a day , its usually just 10 minutes ?.
Have you spoken to the teacher about it.There is a big difference between fidgeting (which I would expect from a 4 yr old ) and poking other kids (which i would not find acceptable)