I am sure that is what Riddley thought..

oh come on, it's anonymous, the op hasn't given any info that might identify her

Except when you discuss it on a website..

oh that's a bit different then.

The reason they've been fairly open with me is because the school hadn't realised how friendly my ds and this lady's ds are, and obviously this creates a problem because my child has spent a fair amount of time at this lady's house with only her in charge of the children. Her ds comes to my house just as much, and I'm now far more comfortable with him doing that, than my child going there.

My brother's children have also spent time there in the school hols when they've visited me, so I'm thankful the school felt they could be truthful. I also work at the school, (not regularly, just as and when they need me), so they know I understand it's confidential.

Yes I'm a bit surprised by how free and open they have been with you. Very unusual and a bit strange. Well, more than a bit strange really.

i believe it but i think it's extremely indiscreet and unprofessional of them

i cant believe the school has outlned anything to you abut this womens problems. you are another parent at the school - no more than that.

she would have every right to be peed off - i certainly would be.

can't quite believe it.

is it ethical for school staff to be discussing this with your in detail?

Thanks again for all your responses. Had a chat with two school staff yesterday afternoon. They outlined the problems this lady has got with alcoholism, it's been going on for years apparently but because she's developed coping strategies and clever ways of masking what's going on, hardly anybody is aware of it other than a few select school staff who act as her support. Looking back now I can think of several times I felt she was acting "oddly", isn't everything so much clearer with hindsight!

She's aware that I know everything, as she was in contact with the school yesterday. She's apparently mortified, she's managed to hide this problem from many friends over the years. She wants to speak to me so I'm going to phone her this weekend, now she's in a clearer state of mind. I'm still very angry about the other day and she knows it, but need to talk to her re. how we go about playdates, etc. I'd be much happier having the children at my house when they want to play together in the holidays, but I'll invite her along too as I just feel she needs support.