eek - place for ds1 at new school - they want him to start NEXT WEEK....

[elliott]

arggghhh!
Ok this is the story. We moved house in Nov, so current school is now 30 mins away. We decided we wanted to move schools to local school 10 mins away (which is generally oversubscribed but has regular turnover). Ideally we would move both ds1 (6) and ds2 (4) in September when ds2 starts reception. But it can't be as simple as that, oh no. Ds2 has his reception place no problem. But ds1 must take his chance on a transfer place coming up (he is in yr1 now). I waited unti this term to apply for a place, thinking that if one came up at this late stage we would be able to move him in Sept. But no. We have a call on monday to say there is a place. They will keep it until...next monday.
I don't know what to do. ds1 doesn't want to move school, loves his current teacher, and I don't want him to haveto get to know 2 new teachers. He will be v upset if I tell him he has to start new school next week...plus it won't be easy for us to get them to different places for half a term.
But otoh if we pass this place up now, what if no other place comes up for Sept?

Help! What on earth should I do? (would especially like to hear from anyone who knows something about school transfers....)

[frogs]

Argh, I feel your pain. We were in this position this time last year, except that dd2 wasn't in school nursery yet and we'd missed the application date, yadda yadda.

Ds (then 7, Y3) moved after half term to the new school. I'd wanted to hold on till September (and he was dead against moving schools full stop), but we moved him anyway, and it was a great success. End of the summer term is a lovely time to move schools, as it's nice and relaxed and lots of fun things happen.

If it's the school you want and your little one has a place there for next year, plus it'll save you a 30 min drive, it's a no-brainer. Present it to him as a fait accompli, lovely chance to meet all your new friends, blahdiblah. He'll only miss a few weeks at the old school and the emotion of leaving will be less than if he does it at the end of term. Get him to take in 'goodbye' sweeties for his current class, and tell him he can still visit them. The new class will love a bit of variety at the end of term and will hopefully welcome him with open arms.

Really don't worry. And you could do what a friend of mine did for her ds (I didn't think of it at the time) which was to print a little card on the 'puter with his name and your contact details to give to all the kids in his new class, to encourage the parents to invite him for playdates or to meetup over the summer.

On no account should you risk him not getting a place for September -- honestly, you won't have any probs now that you wouldn't have had in september anyway, plus he won't have the whole summer holidays to wonder what the new school will be like, worry etc. If it does go pear-shaped it's only a few weeks till the holidays anyway. Our position was even worse, actually, as dd2 was still in nursery near the old school so I had a hellish half term with two children in different locations a 30 min drive apart.

[elliott]

Thanks for that, I suppose I just feel all emotional and panicky at imposing this trauma on ds1, so its good to hear that it can work out. How long did your ds protest for?
We do have the same problem of getting them to two different places - ds2 currently at the preschool at ds1's school - so will also have to put ds1 through the pain of ds2 going every day to his beloved old school...I feel awful about it, that's the bottom line really.
Also, its not 30 mins drive, its actually a rather pleasant cycle through the park which I have been enjoying now that the weather is better

[ChasingSquirrels]

I would move him - the different place thing is for 6 weeks (and tbh I would consider pulling ds2 from pre-school), if they are at different schools it is for years.

[frogs]

He didn't protest at all once he'd been for the introductory visit at the new school. Honestly, they adapt so quickly, and he did have good friends at his old school (a couple of whom he has kept) and adored his teacher (as I did).

It's got to be done, just bite the bullet an don't feel bad. And do present it to him as a positive thing, eg. you'll make lots of new friends and keep your old ones as well, how lovely. blahdiblah. With luck you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[elliott]

can't pull ds2 from preschool as they don't have one at the new school and I am at work...
I know I'm just being emotional. I don't really want to leave the old school either. Its not as if its awful, its just that in the long term this is the only way they will make friends who live round the corner...
oh gawd. to make it worse I am out of the country at the moment spending £££ on mobile conversations with dh who has been handling all the negotiations...
I am so not ready for this....(I wonder where ds1 gets it from ) Of course he must not know how upset I am!

[ChasingSquirrels]

it is crap that they won't hold it until Sep though.
didn't realise it was a day-care pre-school, thought it was the 2.5hr sessions - which don't normally tie in with work.
Hope you sort it.

[sunnydelight]

I thought they would hold a place for 6 weeks? We were in a similar position when we wanted to move DS2 at the end of Y1. He was offered a place just before half term (Summer term) and we were told that they could just about manage to hang onto it until September if we wanted.

In the end though we decided that it would be better to move him after half term to get used to the new school in the Summer term. As someone else has said it's usually quite a nice time in primary school and if there are any school grounds people often hang around after school and let the kids play. This happened at our new school and I felt that both he and I got to know people much better that way. Our new school was also closer so there were a few local kids who came to play over the holidays, making the start of the next school year easier.

[sunnydelight]

Forgot to say, I THINK the six weeks is a statutory time frame for you to accept an offer. The LEA should know the legalities.

[Romy7]

if you don't take it now and they still have it next week, then they have to hold it for you and it will be ok in september (as sd said they can hold a place for six weeks...) I suspect they have a waiting list and know they can fill it befor the end of term... we had the same thing with DD1 - they wanted her to move at exactly the same point you are now, so that we were guaranteed a place in september. For us we just had to do it, as her being on roll was also the only way we could get a yr R (sibling) place for ds 1... she had to move in with grandma for half a term as we hadn't moved...
she's now yr 3 at another school (infants/ juniors) but have to say she hardly blinked. we just said 'oh, lucky you - you get to move schools on monday!!!'

good luck!

[elliott]

Well, I think the consensus is that I just have to get on with it...waiting to hear an update from dh about what they have said about a starting date...just hope we have managed to push it back by a few weeks...
Any other tipss about how to help him be less nervous/upset/stubborn about it??

[Romy7]

re-read my last post and realised it didn't make any sense... the max time they can hold a place for you once you have accepted it is six weeks - if the child hasn't started within six weeks then the place can go to someone else. So if you accept the place today, then they should hold it for six weeks. If this goes past the end of term ( you would have to check the school calendar) then the head should be happy for him to start in september. my slightly arbitrary point about next week only works if your term finishes when ours does!!! so, you should be able to pick a date in the next six weeks to move him, but probably the earlier the better so that he makes some new friends before the end of term...
did i make any more sense that time?

we just did it all v matter-of-factly. we didn't make a big deal out of it and dcs were young enough to make new friends easily.
ask new head if they have 'buddy' system for newbies - it's a v good thing and eases the first few days.

[elliott]

Just to update on this thread...we basically had to take the place or risk losing it, they would not have kept it for us. So, ds1 started yesterday!
Friday was very emotional and quite traumatic (for me anyway!) - we went for a visit to the new school and I just wanted to grab him and run back to our old, familiar, lovely school...new school is much more traditional and I didn't really warm to the teacher. It all just seemed a bit, well, DULL compared to what we are used to. But still, ds1 gave it the thumbs up, and coped really well yesterday (although he came back with spellings - not something we've had to do before ). So he seems happy even if I'm not!! And I have fixed a playdate for him already...
So, thanks to you all for encouraging me into it, he is doing just fine...

[posieflump]

wow well done on that playdate already!!