Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Problems with teacher

13 replies

bitsnbobs · 17/04/2008 18:48

Ds 1 is in Y1 and seems to be struggling. He tells me at home that he doesn't understand what is being asked of him. He has been put in a group who are all behind the rest of the class and it feels like he has been left to get on with it. The teachers seem to show favouritism towards the other pupils who are doing well eg they come out and talk to their parents about how well they are doing at the end of the day and they get stickers, get to do little jobs for the teacher etc. I feel like my ds has been pigeonholed as dumb and basically put with others who are behind (the naughtiest ones in the class).

I have approached his teacher and they keep saying he and the others in his group are young for their age so I asked what I could do at home to help and was just told to carry on with his usual readings and spellings. She got defensive when I tried to suggest they could do more to help.

He is becoming increasingly unhappy being at school and I am seriously tempted to take him out of school.

Has anyone got any good advice as I am getting so stressed out over it all!

OP posts:

Report

anynamewilldo · 17/04/2008 18:56

I had trouble with my dd1 but that was in reception class, our yr1 teacher was lovely. I went above the teacher and spoke to the head teacher.

I would speak to the head teacher, and after speaking to the head ask if it would be possible to have a meeting with both the teacher and the head teacher. I found that having a 3rd person when speaking to the teacher meant that things actually changed for the better.

Hope things improve soon

Report

bitsnbobs · 17/04/2008 19:00

Thanks, I have tried speaking to the head but she seems to cancel appointments at the last minute and I still haven't spoke to her!I have had probs in the past with Ds coming home with various cuts and bruises but the teacher didn't tell me what had happened and when I asked about that I was told that the children can't be watched closely all through playtime.

I just want to work with them at improving the situation but I don't want to come across as mollycoddling my son or being bolshy.

OP posts:

Report

anynamewilldo · 17/04/2008 19:29

I understand where you are coming from, thankfully our school's policy is that any little cut and they ring you to go and check on the child. last week dd2 fell in the yard, and i had to go and check her knees (for god sake she is nearly 8) she can check them herself. this week she walked into a fruit trolley and in fairness has a massive bump/bruise on her forehead, she didnt want to come home was fine when i saw her (and still is)

Are you able to just walk in and ask to see the head (without prior warning) so that plans cannot be changed, explain that it is important and that you are prepared to wait. I have dont this also. but this was when i was as my dd1 got hit in the face by a known bully.

Report

bitsnbobs · 17/04/2008 19:36

I wish Ds's school policy was the same as yours! He has had 3 head injury forms on separate occasions(basically big bruises on his forehead) and had bleeding ankles once from being kicked by another boy. I understand kids have knocks now and again but they always say that he plays with this boy sometimes and gets "caught in the middle" (!).

I think its a good idea like you said to try and get the head on the offchance so she has no chance to back out!

Anyway got to put kids to bed now, any more advice gratefully receieved!

OP posts:

Report

Islamum · 17/04/2008 19:39

They should investigate cuts and bruises and really not good enough for a child to not know whats going on in class, sounds like teacher has no idea makes me really cross to hear stories like this, If children can't enjoy primary what hope have they at secondary? Have you spoken to the SENCO? Has child been assessed to find out if anything is holding him back? FWIW when I was in primary my mum was told i'd be lucky to get a couple of GCSE's - I have a 2:1 degree thanks, I suspect that my poor handwriting and mild dyslexia was mistaken for stupidity.

Report

Islamum · 17/04/2008 19:43

were even, were mistaken

Report

AbbeyA · 17/04/2008 19:57

Rather than just catching the teacher, ask her if you can see her one afternoon after school and then tell her that you are worried-don't be fobbed off with just doing the usual reading and spelling.

Report

bitsnbobs · 17/04/2008 20:19

Thanks, Islamum. Ds 1 was involved with Portage before he started school but that ended once he began at school. In reception we only receieved positive feedback so I had no idea Ds was struggling at all. Then this year I was given an IEP form for him and was given a brief chat about what it was. I did ask if I could see their Senco teacher at school and am still waiting! Since then I have had 2 more forms just put in his folder and they didn't even discuss it at parents evening. I am thinking of going through the Dr instead and getting him assessed. I think he needs someone on his table helping him understand the work.

AbbeyA, I am going to try and talk again but they get defensive and I know another parent who had similar issues to me and got ganaged up on by the teachers so I am reluctant to do the same but I know I can't stand back and do nothing.

I just want to know i'm justified in asking for help and i'm not not being a mad mum!

OP posts:

Report

AbbeyA · 17/04/2008 20:32

It is a shame that they are not more helpful but you are justified in asking for help so keep persevering. I had a similar problem with middle DS and was getting to the tearful stage, I got them to realise that I wasn't being unreasonable and wanted to work with them and we got there in the end. If you really can't get anywhere with the teacher then I would suggest that you try an appointment with the Head.

Report

mamablue · 17/04/2008 20:50

I do not blame you for being anxious it must be worrying if no one will talk to you at school. I would definately be really pushy about seeing the headteacher she can not avoid you forever! Try putting it in writing that you would like to see her and explain that you have had several appointments cancelled but you really want to meet with her. She is more likely to keep the appointment if you have requested it on paper. You are definately not being bolshy you are well within your rights to request a meeting with your child's headteacher.

Report

bitsnbobs · 17/04/2008 21:02

Thanks for your replies,i will arrange an appointment tomorrow and push for an assessment

x

OP posts:

Report

AbbeyA · 18/04/2008 17:56

How did it go?

Report

bitsnbobs · 19/04/2008 09:12

Not v.well!

Have been told that there "will always be children who are behind" in the class and won't agree to assessment. So I am not sure what to do next.

I know ds isn't likely to be a brain surgeon when he is older but I just want him to be at a reasonable level and not sitting in class not understanding anything.