4yo not listening at school

[RunJHC]

4yo DS is getting into trouble for not listening at school. He's bright and when he's engaged and interested in an activity he can concentrate well, work independently etc. But if he's not interested he just messes around. Teachers don't seem to have a good strategy in place but I could be being mean. Any tips/experience? We've tried rewarding good listening, telling him off etc but doesn't seem to make any difference

[user789653241]

My ds used to get into trouble for not listening (and still a bit even in YR3).
But he is more of a day dreamer rather than messing about. Definitely got better with maturity.
Just too young to keep concentrating? Hearing problem? Some sort of sen? Just a personality?
I don't think parents telling off at home works much. Anyway, he is still 4, so I wouldn't worry too much.(except for checking his hearing.)

[icklekid]

Keep focusing on the positive lots of catching him being good. Teachers generally work hard to make most things seem exciting (even when they are not!) In all likelihood it's probably a maturity thing and he will be able to concentrate for longer as he gets older. Playing concentration/memory games helps as does reading with him. Good luck

[Brokenbiscuit]

He's 4!

Personally, I think our expectations of 4yos in this country are ridiculous, especially for little boys.

I'm sure that he will learn to listen as he matures.

[junebirthdaygirl]

If he is still 4 at this stage if the year he must have been very young starting.. No winder he can't listen poor lad. If he was in any other country he wouldn't be expected to. Sorry not much help. But l despair at how young children go to school.

[eddiemairswife]

He's a 4 yr old boy. What on earth do the teachers expect? From my, rather limited, observations, and as a retired primary teacher and mother of 2 boys and 2 girls I have noticed that teachers who have boys of their own are far more understanding of the needs and development of young boys.

[RunJHC]

Thanks - incredibly helpful/reassuring. I've had hearing checked and no problems. And checked for SEN as my older son has ASD so I did wonder - but had assessment and no signs of ASD/ADHD.

I think you're right on the maturity point - and lots of well behaved girls in his class so contrast must be marked for his teacher! Will talk to her about lots of positive reinforcement. He's learning loads, really loves going to school and has lots of friends so he can't be that bad, surely?!

[Witchend]

Get his hearing checked. Ds zones out when his hearing's bad.