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Behaviour problems at Y1. Going to talk to teachers tomorrow.

6 replies

ishallconquerthat · 13/01/2016 23:27

Tomorrow I'm going to the school talk to DS1's teacher and the KS1 leader (or something like that) about DS1's behaviour. He is 5yo and is in Y1.

He can't stop talking, he keeps interrupting class, he can't focus on certain tasks (sometimes it's writing, sometimes is changing for PE, for example. He will just daydream instead of changing, according to the teacher - which is exactly the same he does at home).

He is clever, creative, is good at reading and maths, but is struggling to behave the way he's supposed to. I have a feeling that he is not deliberately ignoring when the teacher tells him off, but he can't help the behaviour. He has always fidgeted a lot, talked non stop, etc.

We (me, at home, and the teacher at school) have been trying to teach him coping strategies to calm down, like breathing techniques.

I think, but don't know exactly how to explain, that it should be treated like any other difficulty. I mean - some children have difficulty with writing, some with maths, and he has difficulty to calm down and be quiet. But I feel sometimes people at school act as if he is deliberately misbehaving (of course he KNOWS how he should behave. But he doesn't misbehave on purpose, if it makes sense. Just like a child with trouble with maths knows what they're supposed to do, but they can't do)

The school has been very good so far, but DS1 can be so overwhelming that sometimes it's just frustrating to everyone. I want to help DS1 to learn how to function in society.

Any ideas of how I could approach it? Any suggestions?

TIA.

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Out2pasture · 15/01/2016 01:01

hopefully others will add in but it sounds like typical boy behavior. i'd be tempted to see if a Montessori approach would be a recommendation?

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merlottime · 15/01/2016 07:58

I sympathise, but I wonder if the difference is that this behaviour is disruptive for the rest of the class. So even though he may struggle to stay calm, and is not being disruptive deliberately, the teacher has to try minimise the disruption for the benefit of the other 29, and will be trying to model to the class the expected behaviour standards, so it may be harder to go softer on some than others even where there is an underlying difficulty.

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WhattodoSue · 15/01/2016 08:05

It is such a shame that your little boy, who sounds very sweet, is having 'behaviour' problems at school. It sounds to me like his issue is that...he is 5. We expect so so much of our children in school nowdays. Some can manage the behavioural demands necessary for such intensive learning, others struggle. That isn't much help I realise, but i do think it is a shame that the hellish national curriculum doesn't take it much slower in infants.

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Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 15/01/2016 13:07

I think his behaviour could be dangerous in some situations ... School trips out door play etc? He needs higher supervision, unlike the child that struggles with maths.

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user789653241 · 15/01/2016 16:02

My ds was similar when he was 5, but greatly improved with his age.
I think if he is clever, he may find the lesson boring, but he need to learn to restrain himself. But hopefully it comes as he get older. Teacher needs to be strict about it, and I totally supported the teacher when my ds was having trouble. Yes, I understand they may not be able to control it at such a young age, but at least try to make him understand. I don't think it's a good idea to make excuse to teachers that it should be treated like any other difficulties. I do think it's a lot to do with his age.

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ishallconquerthat · 16/01/2016 18:06

Thanks a lot for your answers, I feel better after reading them :)

Out2 a Montessori school would be great, but we can't pay for private school at the moment...

I agree with you all that his behaviour is disruptive, unlike the behaviour of the child who is not very good at maths. I do support the teacher.

I'm very lucky that the teacher agrees with me and PPs that a child this age should be playing and not expected to be quiet, doing lots of academic stuff. We all disagree with the National Curriculum, which is good - but still, we all have to follow it.

In the end, the talk was good, she has been trying the same strategies we try at home, like breathing and time to calm down (not as a punishment), and rewards for calming down (I don't like the sticker chart philosophy, so we don't have that at home, but I know that's how it works at school).

DS1's behaviour has been better in the last few days, let's see how things go. Thanks again!