Bossy Y2 girls

[PotteryLottery]

DD sometimes says other girls are bossy and asks me for advice on what to do and say in response, but I'm clueless about such things.

How can I teach my DD to assert herself?

[Morebiscuitsplease]

I got some books, checked out things on Amazon and talked through some strategies with my daughter ..she was in Y5. Good Luck Both my quieter introverted girls found bossy girls tricky. When they really overstepped the mark I spoke to the class teacher who were very good.

[reni2]

How do you deal with bossy people yourself? You know, the colleague who tries to delegate her jobs to you or the friend who always says which pub to go to and gets stroppy if you want to go elsewhere? Find a child-friendly version of your own responses.

I would say "Sorry I am too busy, why not talk to your supervisor if your workload is too big for you" or "I am bored always going to the Lion's Head, it also is very noisy, how about we try the Witches cauldron or do you know another?"

So for a Y2 girl that would be: "Sorry, I can't let you draw on my sheet, why not ask a teacher for your own?" and "I don't like to play shopkins again, we did that yesterday, shall we try and play hopscotch or what other games do you like?"

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

seems to be common in Yr2 girls.

I just say to my daughters to move on and play with someone else if it is at breaktime. try to remember to compromise so if yesterday they played one child's choice of game then today play a different child's choice and tomorrow another child's choice etc. Reminds the child who thinks they themselves aren't being bossy that they too have to compromise, teaches them that they can say the same to the bossy girls and encourage them to take turns in choosing too.

[reni2]

Good point, remind her that most people can be perceived as "bossy". Young kids often mix up "wants to play a certain game" with bossiness. I know a couple of little girls who think each other bossy, neither of them are (any more than almost all pre-teens). Assertiveness is not a bad trait in a grown-up even if 7yos call it bossy, so probably a good thing to learn.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

oh we have a little group here none of whom think they are in the slightest bit bossy, all of whom are VERY bossy!

[reni2]

Since there can be only one boss, how does a group like that work? They presumably get to some sort of arrangement, so maybe re-frame it as assertive children learning to reach an agreement rather than bossy girls.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

ha well yes but bossy seems to sum them up better. they do seem to get along somehow, no idea how it works, I tend not to see it much - just hear the moaning. it is interesting though because a couple of them have learned now that actually they also do the things they moan about the others doing so they are starting to deal with it better and hopefully the little group will work through it themselves.

[honeysucklejasmine]

My sister tells her daughter that "the only people you have to listen to at school are the adults. You don't have to do something if you don't want to, unless it's a teacher asking." She struggled with feeling confident enough to say no, and this seems to help.