Tutoring for Reception entry???!!!!

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

Is this really A Thing??!

I ask because I have found a lovely independent school that I would really like DD to attend when she starts Reception. It is selective, which instinctively I am not sure about because I never know how much you can really tell at the age of 3 and a half (!) but having visited the school and talked to staff and parents of children currently there, I have had many of my fears allayed about it being a very pushy and competitive school once you are in. I found it to be warm, and nurturing, and I just really liked it. Seems a chance of a great start to education.

HOWEVER at the recent open day, prospective parents were discussing tutoring... for reception age entry... I double-checked they were not just talking about 7+ entry but nope, reception it was!!

This has freaked me out a little bit because I had been assuming that my DD, when she is assessed, will either get a place or not get a place but that either way it would be on the basis of any ability she has (that they are able to spot at that age). But now I am concerned that she may not stand a chance because she will be measured against children whose parents have had them tutored...

fwiw DD does seem extremely bright (I do know everyone thinks this!!) - DH's family are all terrifyingly smart so it wouldn't be astonishing if DD were an academic child also but are good teachers really able to tell, at this stage, whether the children they are assessing have natural ability or have been tutored...?

On a related note, should I just move out of SW London where this is all happening, and find a part of the country where these sorts of things don't happen??!

I should add that hell would freeze over before I tutored my 3yo, so am not asking if I should be doing this, am just asking if any educators out there have a view on whether it is possible to spot this?

[LucyLastik]

It should all be about social skills, communication and language development and physical development - not areas I would have thought you could tutor for tbh.

[Smartiepants79]

I am glad that your daughter has such a sensible mother. Tutoring for 3 yr olds is the saddest thing I've heard today.
I would hope that if she is bright, articulate and curious with a good understanding of the world around her she would be fine. They will look at how she interacts with others, how confident she is and how well she concentrates on something like a story.
I don't know how you tutor a 3 yr old.

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

Thx Lucy, I'd have thought not too but tutoring certainly seems to be lurking... maybe it's more just a case of parents desperately trying to do whatever they can/think they need to do, rather than it actually having any impact at all on the child.

[AnotherNewt]

I think that's utterly bats. And not commen even in SW London (now wondering which schools).

Yes, oversubscribed private schools may select by assessment. But as LucyLastik says, they're looking for everything they want to see in children in their classroom, and that's not just a few tutored skills.

Have you also registered for any first-come-first-served schools?

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

Thank you Smartiepants, I don't know how sensible I am about most things but this is something that just really shocked me...
Yes, before this open day I'd been thinking about DD and thinking, well, she has amazing concentration, and she's incredibly interested in the world around her and she asks wonderfully off-the-wall questions... that must be the sort of thing they're looking for (was hoping they didn't asses anything involving jigsaw puzzles or test them on table manners as DD would fail hideously on both accounts ) but now I'm a bit at sea and sure she won't measure up!!
She's bloody marvellous, so I don't mind either way, but I did really like the school and loved the staff.

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

AnotherNewt, have registered for 2 first-come-first served but as we were very slow off the mark pathetically disorganised I already know our chances are slim to none. It's one of the reasons I even looked at this partic school in the first place as though I'd avoided it because I was concerned about hothousing, as DD has got older and more verbal etc I began to think a selective entry might actually work in our favour rather than the poor little soul being reliant on her disorganised, late-to-the-party parents who didn't really believe all this crap about registering them when they're 6 months old but which, in our area at least, has turned out to be TRUE!!

[LondonRocks]

People are mad. They're three. THREE.

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

Thing is that even if I did utterly lose the plot one day and try to find a tutor (where the hell are they lurking, that's what I'd like to know...) the prospect of some poor exploitative sod trying to teach anything to my DD is hilarious and horrifying in equal measure. She's not a fan of instruction, of any sort, because she can do it ALL herself already, don't you know...

[helloalll]

OP- not sure where in SW London you are but don't worry too much about all the early registrations etc. Round here all the chat and rumours are the same but once half the people end up choosing state schools ( having had privates as 'insurance' ) and the other half end up moving away there always seem to be places at all the private schools right up to the last minute.
Other than that I really wouldn't worry about 'tutoring' at 3. It all seems to be a bit of a lottery round here.. I am also really intrigued about which school you looked at.

[Pipbin]

I have taught nursery and reception in the past in an area where there were some parents who did the minimum with their child, by that I mean that the fed and clothed them; most of the time, and some who tutored their children.
I taught one nursery child who's mother did two hours of homework with her every night. She was more able in literacy and numeracy than the others but she struggled socially.
The most well rounded children came from home where they were read to, played with and talked to.
At that age I could tell a tutored child from a naturally able child.

[Mopmay]

Personally I think some SW London parents seem to have lost the plot on the whole madly selective schooling thing. It seems like the DC academic schooling is all the is important to them - so they can get to x school and Oxbridge. Poor mites. They are kids

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

Thanks Pipbin and MopMay... yep MopMay I am right with you there on the losing the plot thing... have heard a few horror stories even at 7+ entry and I have a friend whose lovely, sporty, confident, popular but not naturally academic DD is being pushed and pushed and pushed by her very academic prep school to get into secondary schools that I expect won't suit her in the slightest.
It's why I was so averse to anything remotely selective at this age, and didn't look into this school until just now.
Madness, and not all that funny when you really think about it :(

[Pipbin]

When I say tutored, they didn't actually get someone in, but the parents sat with their child and 'did work' beyond the general, 'lets have a go and writing your name'. They get them to read, rather than sharing a book etc.

[Nowfeeltheneedtopost]

I think you may be falling for some scare stories! Honestly, as another poster said, most prep schools in SW London seem miraculously to be able to provide spaces for majority of children who want to go there in reception. I know many families at my DD's state school who put their DC' names down for various prep schools soon after birth (because the crowds they mixed in suggested that was the done thing) and then as their DC approached school age and they started looking at schools, they either opted for state or chose just one of the 5 prep schools they had registered for! Hence, loads of spaces open up.

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

Thanks everyone!
It may well be then that the non-selective ones have places that open up... that said, this particular selective school has been my favourite now out of the ones I've investigated/registered at. The children seemed nicely confident without being horribly precocious, and the parents (actual not prospective) were very definitely on the 'normal' scale rather than the glossy-and-very-rich scale that they were at the others... Nothing wrong with glossy and very rich, but we are neither and so the selective school had a feel that was much more 'us'.

[threegoingonthirty]

Read the "3+ 4+ 5+ 7+ support" threads started by mumteacher - or don't if you don't want to hear about people tutoring at this age......

[Mopmay]

Mine are at a fantastic large diverse local community school. It gets great results. Uniform is not strictly enforced and there is limited homework. There is lots of extra curricular stuff. It's an amazing experience for the DC compared to my strict MC church primary. The yr6 leavers are very confident and well rounded as well as high achieving. ( as individuals in different ways) They have wide groups of friends and high levels of tolerance and understanding. They are rounded future citizens. I could not imagine them in a small selective academic prep so really don't understand it to be honest