Help ! - Moved to the country

[garryj]

Hi there, we lost out on a place in kent and decided (after a short holiday) to move into the 'country', 8 months in, fantastic place, lots of land, but now starting to get worried. The place we had was in a good catchment area, good connections etc, where we are now is far more cut off.

Whilst the quality of life is great, the prospects are not as good, we don't have any connections here and we are now regretting the knee jerk reaction but only for these reasons.

What does everybody recommend, I kinda need a step by step... I've investigated private schools in the area, also down where we used to live. Looking at selling, moving back down, renting, nothing at the moment is out of the equation.

Or should we just stop panicking and stay where we are !

[MerryMarigold]

Garry, is this a school question.

[garryj]

yes - want to know best options for schools, thanks

[MerryMarigold]

Oh yes. The topic was a clue. I thought it was in chat!

I think you will need to give details eg. how far is the nearest state primary? Is it any good? Do you have any neighbours with kids? Are you in/ near a village? Can you afford private education that you have looked at for more than 1 child and do you plan on more children?

Can't help without any info!

[garryj]

thanks merry, the nearest state primary is < 3 miles away, far easier journey than we had down south. The stress has gone from the following:
a) logistics - far easier to get around and to/from work etc
b) space - a LOT more space (2 acres) than we had before, by far
c) people - a LOT friendlier
d) beauty - its a beautiful place to live
e) safety - it just feels safe

But these benefits have been replaced with the following concerns
a) education - lack of grammar schools
b) management - large place, large management responsibilities
c) other logistics - more difficult to get from a to b (schools) as kids get older
d) child keeping - no relatives around to help
e) costs

Yes, i've made these add up 5 vs 5.

Sorry, I am deviating from education, but i believe you mums in mumsnet might have the answers !

[MerryMarigold]

Oh, I wouldn't move because of grammar schools!

Sounds great. Stay put for longer if I were you. But only you really know. How old are the kids?

[garryj]

4 and 8

i went to a grammar school

parents moved to a house specifically to get me to a primary that syphoned off to a grammar school.. hence the pressure

my better half didnt have that and has still done well

but still feeling the pressure :)

[cartoonsaveme]

Wouldn't move for grammars. Sent DC to local schools and enjoy life

[Mrscog]

I live in a county with no grammars, people just don't even think of it here, it means that the top set in high school is basically like the 'grammar set' as they haven't been siphoned off.

Definitely wouldn't worry about the lack of grammar school.

[MerryMarigold]

It depends a bit where you are. Check out how the schools are. In counties with no grammar, there are usually good secondaries anyway (apart from Norfolk - ha ha - massive generalisation there). Anyway, yes, check out the potential secondaries and how likely you would to get in, what your catchment one is (call local authority), whether you would have choices even etc. etc.

[TeenAndTween]

Are your lack of grammar schools because

a) you are in a grammar area and nearest are miles away and your locals are secondary moderns which are a bit rubbish

or

b) you are now in a fully comp area

If there are no nearby grammar schools, then by default whether a) or b) your local secondary is likely to be a comp in reality (too far to travel to grammar). Is it any good?

Nothing wrong with a good comp. Most of the country isn't in grammar school areas and gets on just fine and dandy, and without the angst.
(Disclaimer, provided schools are good. But you can have poor grammar schools just as much as you can have poor comps).

[hiccupgirl]

I wouldn't move if the lack of grammar schools is because you're in a non grammar area. Lack of grammar schools means the brightest kids stay in the whole school system which can be a very good thing for all the schools.

I grew up in a non grammar county and got the same A'Levels at my comprehensive school and then degree class as my youngest brother who went to school in the next county that does have grammars, and in fact went to one of the top grammar schools in the country.

[toomuchicecream]

I would choose to move away from grammar schools!

[Luna9]

It has not been long since you moved; I would not rush to move again only for schools; I am sure the advantages weighted more than the disadvantages when you made that decision. It takes time to meet people and make connections and get to know the schools better. I will wait at least another year if not more and revalue your decision again in a year or 2.

[squiggletea]

We live in the 'country' and for various reasons the population is quite transient (although that does seem to stop come secondary age). The mums I've met who have travelled more widely (overseas) have spoken about a 6 month 'dip'. Basically the excitement of the new location and new routines has died down but new friendships haven't bedded in yet and your old friendships and routines seem a long way away - a kind of homesickness if you like.

Anyway - the consensus is that the dip passes, new routines and friendships emerge and while life is never perfect, it does get better.

I think a lot of sensible things have already been said about grammar schools and comps etc.

Your new life sounds fab - I hope it works out.