Abusive teacher and unsupportive head teacher

[jodieedge]

Hi all,
New to mums net and would appreciate some advice.

I also work at the school my child attends just for more information.

This week my child attended weekly forest school with the teacher and assistant. My child was asked by the assistant to change into her jeans, my child said she didn't want to and the assistant got angry and started shouting in my child's face, I am aware of this as the other children went home and told their parents. It resulted in the other children (all aged 7) standing in between the assistant and my child and them shouting stop shouting at her for the assistant to stop. My child was already in floods of tears. The reason she didn't want to put her jeans on was because she had forgot her belt but didn't get chance to tell the assistant as she didn't give her a moment.

A letter was sent home to myself about my child's 'bad' behaviour, along with another parent getting a letter for another incident, in the park we discussed our letters and I stated that I was not happy and would book an appointment.

Annoyed that this assistant (who has already been spiteful to my child in the past) I booked a meeting with the head teacher. At the meeting the head teacher gave me a verbal warning for discussing children outside school (the assistant who shouted at my child had overheard mine and my friends conversation about our children and told the head). So I was verbally warned and have also been told there may be further action against me. I was told that she doesn't employ 'shouty' members of staff so all the year 2 children must be lying. And that the reason my child was refusing to put her jeans on was because she was trying to 'show off to the boys as she's that way inclined!' SHE IS 7!

Amongst many others words disclosed my child started crying again and the head teacher looked across and told her to 'dry them fake tears up!'

I'm utterly disgusted that this member of staff has been not only undisciplined for her behaviour but supported and also been told my child is the problem.

I am now in the process of finding a new job along with moving my child schools as I find this totally unacceptable.

My question to all you mums is: WHERE CAN I TAKE IT FROM HERE? I want to take it to the top but I am unsure on who to contact in the first place.

Many Thanks

[ShoeWhore]

The first thing you need to do is get hold of the school's complaints policy and follow the procedure outlined in it. Usually the first step would be to put a complaint in writing to the Head and then if that does not satisfactorily resolve the issue then the next stage would be to contact the governors - but you need to check what your school's specific procedure says.

[TheFrendo]

Write to the chair of the governing body with your complaint. Do it now.

Also get a copy of the school's policy for handling such matters, there will be one.

The headteacher sounds a dreadful bully.

[vindscreenviper]

A letter of complaint to the Chair of the school governors will be your next step OP.

[ShoeWhore]

Also are you in a union? You may want to take some advice re your employment position.

[vindscreenviper]

Sorry, posted too early.

If you are a member of a union you should also contact them for advice about the verbal warning if you believe it was unjustified. Obviously you can discuss your own child outside of school, however if you have disclosed information about staff or other children then the Head was correct to pull you up about it.
If you are looking for a new job please remember that any prospective employer will require a reference from your current/most recent employer, so if you haven't breached the terms of your contract by discussing children outside of school then you really need to ensure that the verbal warning is not mentioned on any reference the Headteacher gives for you.

[goldenlilliesdaffodillies]

It really can be so difficult working in the same place as your childs school. I do and have found it so hard on occasions that I have often wondered whether to work somewhere else.

How sneaky of the assistant to talk to the head- sounds like they are trying to cover their back. In my experience staff children quite often get treated much harsher than non staff children.

The nexy step would be The Chair of Governors. However the school should have a 'Complaints/Grevience Policy' on how to complain. However if looking for another job, wouldn't the head need to give you a reference so could affect your jobs in the future?

[littlejohnnydory]

If I were you, I would remove my child from that school this very day. I wouldn't leave my children in the care of people with those behaviours and attitudes. I'd also make a formal complaint.

[DeWee]

It resulted in the other children (all aged 7) standing in between the assistant and my child and them shouting stop shouting at her for the assistant to stop.
I find this very difficult to picture really. I cannot imagine any of my dc's classes doing that, even the secondary school ones. You might get a friend putting an arm round their upset child, but generally the rest keep their head down and keep out of the firing line.

However if that happened that is going to be enough noise to bring the teacher running even if she wasn't right next to them. No way would any teacher ignore that sort of noise. So the teacher must be aware of what happened and so I would think that you need to speak to the head and the teacher, who must have witnessed it.

[PastSellByDate]

Unfortunately this is going to reduce to she said/ he said situation where in fact the people judging the matter weren't there and can't really make a call on this.

My advice is refuse any further meetings with anyone without a witness present.

I personally think - get a new job/ move your kid and walk (no run) away from the situation.

DeWee - I get that you find this unbelievable - but not all schools enjoy the children they teach and can treat them appallingly. Our school literally threated all the children before an OFSTED visit and told them bad things would happen if they acted up or said the wrong thing during the OFSTED visit. One girl got so freaked out she refused to go into the school the days of the visit because she was frightened she wouldn't be working fast enough.

Our school told a boy (with his foot twisted round backward) to just swing it round and shut up. The A&E team wrote a group letter of complaint to the school and the LEA. All hushed up by the hyper controlling Head who makes the see no evil/ hear no evil/ speak no evil saying her motto.

We're always one big happy family at St. Mediocre.

[PastSellByDate]

OH and by the way rumour has it we've failed to make floor target on SATs - and the decision has been taken to not release this data until after the December public release - and also when its the new HT's headache.

What a charming leaving present.