Sensitive problems at school -change school?

(28 Posts)
Kamilla00 Mon 10-Feb-14 18:30:00

My daughter is very shy and quiet during parent evening her teacher said she has no friend in her class, she is always on her own.
When picking up my 5 year old (girl) from school today, her teacher told me that there was an accident during lunch. 2 boy (from her class) cornered my daughter and told her to take her clothes off - she did, the teachers noticed and took her to her class teacher.
I don't know what to do now. I asked the teacher for a meeting with the head tomorrow, but I cannot see my daughter going back to that class ever again - she is crying not wanting to go back and quiet frankly I don't want her going back as she has no one there and the boys might start bullying her now. The school usually give slips saying when she hit her self or go a bruise somewhere shouldn't they have given her one for this?
Also should have they called my straight away -not wait 2 hours for the school to end?
I want to know what I can do. I want her to go to a psychologist can I ask the school to organised it for me (can't afford one privately)?
Also I don't want her in that class anymore, will the school help me by change it or should I change schools?
I don't want her going back now to that class so she will be absent from school until I sort it all out. What can I do to stop the council fining me - should I contact them?
Any help/advise would be grateful!

roslet Mon 10-Feb-14 20:18:04

How stressful for you and for her. I would look into moving schools as soon as possible. Not so much because of this upsetting incident, but because she hasn't made friends there yet.

DeWe Mon 10-Feb-14 22:03:59

Personally I would down play it to her as much as possible. if you let her stay off, then it will be much worse getting her back to school-any school.

As the teacher spoke to you, I wouldn't expect a slip as well. A slip is basically to explain bruise/cuts and to suggest you check that all is okay later (esp. a bump on the head).
I wouldn't expect a slip for that sort of incident, but it was right of the teacher to speak to you-teacher speaking to you ime means it is more serious than a slip. Unless she was inconsolable, again I wouldn't have expected a call.
Was she upset about it happening, or was she upset because she thought she was in trouble?

At 5yo they often don't have friends. The question is whether she is choosing to be on her own-in which case she can be gently encouraged to join in with others; or the others are excluding her, which can be bullying. Ime strong friendships only start for the most part in year 1, and often not until year 2. Have you tried inviting friends back after school?

One of my dc excludes herself, she'll choose to sit on her own, and even refuse invitations to sit with others because she lacks confidence in that way.She is actually quite popular in a quiet way-she's the one they choose to go to for help and support.

I doubt they will be able to move class unless there's space in the other class (ie less than 30). But this happened at lunchtime, so being in class with them is slightly irrelevant.

It may be nothing like as sinister as you think it is. I remember at year 1 level playing houses, and one girl said to another, "we're going to bed now, so get undressed" and us watching in surprise as the other girl unbuttoned her dress. We meant "pretend to get undressed" she thought we were really doing it, we stopped her pretty quickly, but what I'm meaning is that it wasn't necessarily a malicious incident.

LIZS Tue 11-Feb-14 09:22:00

hope you get some reassurance this morning.

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