If you were going to a parents' evening, how would you want the teacher to introduce themselves and how would you react?

(61 Posts)
mrevans Sun 15-Sep-13 18:25:09

T = Teacher P = Parents

1) T: First name P: First names
2) T: First name P: Mr and/or Mrs ____________
3) P: Mr/Mrs/Miss ______________ P: First names
4) T: Mr/Mrs/Miss ______________ P: Mr and/or Mrs ___________

Please explain why and also your experiences of this (eg. being formal/informal etc).

lljkk Sun 15-Sep-13 18:29:34

That's a bit technical.
Surnames both sides. Keep it professional. I didn't even like using first names when I worked at the school (DC also pupils there).

Greydog Sun 15-Sep-13 18:34:55

agree - surnames on both sides. Formal is best

intitgrand Sun 15-Sep-13 18:36:56

Teacher (unless they know you well) to call parents Mr and Mrs Grand and introduce themselves by first and second name (no title) eg Thomas Brown

PottyLotty Sun 15-Sep-13 18:37:19

I would expect you to already know the name of the Teacher so no introduction really needed on their side unless its just a room full of Teachers in which case Mr/Mrs/Miss ** and you would be introduced as Mr & Mrs/Ms/Miss (or any other title).

I really do not like 1st name terms with anyone unless they are long standing friends/family etc, our Headteacher tries to use my first name all the time and I always correct him and say Mrs **. It is a professional relationship you have which in my opinion warrants the use of titles.

PuppyMonkey Sun 15-Sep-13 18:39:53

I'm not married to my partner, and get VERY annoyed when the school call me Mrs DP's surname. Just saying. First names all the way for me, what is this 1956?

headlesslambrini Sun 15-Sep-13 18:41:01

I think on first meeting then surnames on both sides. If it is likely to have more involvement with parents then possibly, invite them to use your first name after a couple of meetings as I think this can break down barriers and it can make some people feel as if they are being listened to. However, some people prefer to keep things formal so it would have to be judged on a parent by parent basis.

HmmAnOxfordComma Sun 15-Sep-13 18:44:28

Title and Surnames on both sides.

I was heavily involved in the primary school PTA (Chair for 6 years) and found it a useful distinction to call the Head by his first name for PTA business (and he reciprocated) and as Mr X for parental business (and vice versa). Same for all other staff. Keeps your relationship clear.

PuppyMonkey Sun 15-Sep-13 18:50:03

Calling me Mrs DP's surname didn't keep things clear for me.

pourmeanotherglass Sun 15-Sep-13 18:53:52

I'm not sure any of my dd's teachers have introduced themselves at the first parents evening, as I already knew their name by then. If necessary, I've introduced myself as 'X's Mum', but it isn't usually necessary, as they have usually noticed which child I pick up before parents evening.
I guess it must be different when they go up to secondary (I'll find out next year, as dd1 is in yr 6)

SummerHoliDidi Sun 15-Sep-13 18:54:24

I have to say I have always said something like "you must be x's mum/dad" and everybody has been happy with that. My name is usually on the desk in front of me as Ms Didi.

If I have to speak to a parent on the phone then I use surnames on both sides but I look the parents' surnames up to make sure I've got them right as there are so many combinations and I don't want to offend anyone.

coppertop Sun 15-Sep-13 19:02:59

The teacher's name is usually displayed on the desk, but if it's the first time I've met them they will introduce themselves as Miss/Mrs/Mr X.

Children usually attend too, so it tends to be a case of "Hello, dd/ds. And this must be your mum/dad."

First names aren't used at all. I think they avoid addressing the parents as Mr/Miss/Mrs Surname as it is very easy to get this wrong.

HmmAnOxfordComma Sun 15-Sep-13 19:08:44

We got a sticker at yr 7 parents' evening which said: 'Mrs HAOC, parent of x' and 'Mr...etc etc'. Felt like I was four again, but it was useful!

Picklesauage Sun 15-Sep-13 20:23:47

I always introduce myself as 'first name - last name'. It's not a state secret!

I also echo a pp and say 'you must be --- parents'. But I say this first, then my name and normally get theirs in return. Then I don't need to make assumptions about married names!

HumphreyCobbler Sun 15-Sep-13 20:32:01

I too introduced myself as first name - last name. I addressed parents as Mr and Mrs.

Pachacuti Sun 15-Sep-13 20:35:44

To be honest, at primary level I'd expect to already know who they were and have them know who I was before parents' evening.

Alanna1 Sun 15-Sep-13 20:37:03

Surely it depends. Some teachers like to be known by their first names. Others don't. Similarly with parents. Just take your cue from that.

sarascompact Sun 15-Sep-13 20:39:14

What intitgrand said. I.E. "Hello Mrs Brown, I'm Jane Smith, John's head of year".

tethersend Sun 15-Sep-13 20:39:48

Since all teachers at DD's school are known by their first names, it would be odd to start introducing ourselves as Mr/Ms X

JugglingChaotically Sun 15-Sep-13 20:40:47

I introduce myself as First name, Surname.
Expect teacher to do same.
Then address them as Mrs/miss/mr X and expect them to so the same.
Get irritated when teachers introduce themselves as miss/mrs/mr x as it is not their name and a tad pretentious.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 15-Sep-13 20:41:13

I have my name (Mrs Lastname) on the table. I don't refer to parents' names.

When I'm phoning I introduce myself as Firstname Lastname, and call them Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Theirlastname as detailed on the contact list.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 15-Sep-13 20:43:34

Not sure why it's pretentious to keep to surnames though really...

trinity0097 Sun 15-Sep-13 20:44:26

Depends how much contact I've had with them in the past, some parents I am on first name terms with others Mr/Mrs, if in doubt at parents evening I generally start by saying, you must be x's Mum/Dad, especially if in doubt whether they have have same surnames! One Mum at school hates being called Mrs X as she thinks that someone is calling for her MIL!

Hulababy Sun 15-Sep-13 20:48:06

I refer to myself as Firstname Surname.
I will say to parents "Oh, you must be x's mum/dad" and try to avoid using a surname unless I have to as no way of assuming right surname.

When phoning a parent I look up the information in the contacts file and use the name(s) provided in their - which were provided in the first pace by the parents.

I don't do parent's evenings anymore - but used to look up correct surnames in the contact book in prep where available and jot them down on my notes next to each child.

Smartiepants79 Sun 15-Sep-13 20:48:13

Would always use surnames on both sides unless it is a parent I know very well and have perhaps taught other siblings. Consider it unprofessional otherwise.
I know all my parents tho and they know me so it's never been an issue.

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