Mumsnet Talk

'Socharlotte your world sounds very narrow and not very kind IMO

they are not meant to be unkind

His only little. I spend most of my break times sorting out children's little fall outs, and most of the reception children do cry,mits normal. The year twos still cry now and then but most of them grow out of it.
His tiny, and reception is tiring and hard work.

Maybe a talk about what words he can use, but please don't worry about it too much.

My dd is like this ans she is nearly 7. She is sensitive and quick to cry - it's shit for us, for her, for her classmates - we know this however we have tried lots of strategies and nothing seems to work. She is know as a cry baby and she now gets no sympathy from her peers even when someone shoves her face into a roughcast wall

She does not however cry when she loses at a game but at things like not being picked to readout in class, at people not being fair, at people being mean to others

This has been blamed on her being an only or a Pisces or learned behaviour and I'm at the end of my tether. My catchphrase for nearly 7 years has been "crying doesn't change mummy's mind"

Watching with interest

Lucylight In my experience being sensitive with your own feelings, does not necessarily mean they have sensitivity to others.Your kids might.But IME there is no correlation.

Socharlotte, have you been manipulated by a crybaby?

I don't know.I am over 40 and can't remember that far back.But I work with literally hundreds of children a week and have come across lots of them. habitual criers have often cottoned on to the potentail for attention seeking and/or manuipulation.Again only speaking from my experience.I don't know the OPs DS so can't comment

Socharlottet, as unconftable as it makes me feel, taking into consideration my own child, I think you are right in a way. Sometimes, children do get stuck in a rut of using tears to express/manipulate/whatever when things are not going their way.

I don't think charlotte is deserving of this flaming. There's a middle ground between bully and 'baby'

There is a middle ground but not all children are on it. Some children may be manipulating others with crying but I'd rather that than with friendship or love (you do this/be like this and I'll be your friend).

Children manipulate to get what they want from the first days of infancy (looking cute and crying for milk!) and, like everything else, they need to learn to lose this. Being forced to "toughen up" is not the answer imo as the tears will be quite genuine in a lot of cases.

From my observation of dd2 who tears up easily, peers give way to one in tears, but like them less for it. They give way to stop the tears, avoid getting into trouble, but resent having to do so.

I've found with dd2 encouraging her to be more empathetic to others helps. So she doesn't cry because she's lost because she's pleased for her friend that won. She doesn't cry because she hasn't got what she's wanted because X and Y also didn't get it. Seeing that she wasn't singled out for something she didn't want has helped considerably, and thinking about how others feel helps her not to focus on how bad she feels.