Ineffective at dealing with bully

[benbecca]

Sorry didnt know where to put this - I have seen a bullying thread but doesnt seem very busy.

My son is constantly being picked on (now calling it bullying) by a boy in his class - they are both 7. Have have spoken and written to the school about it, the latest incident being last week - the reaction from the school was that they are "keeping an eye on the situation" - However my sons school does not believe in punishment of any sort ! - It's all restorative !.. The most this other boy has been made to do is apologise to my son for the physical abuse he is suffering. Took my son to school today and within 30 seconds of him entering the playground this boy had spat and kicked him. I seen my son crying and called him over, the other boy came over too - I asked my son what had happened and the other boy replied saying my son had bullied him and said nasty things to him - I saw the whole thing my son didn't even speak to the boy !!. So went into school - couldn't speak to the head teacher or assistant head who has been dealing with this, left details of what had happened with the lady in the office. BUT I am sick of the school continually allowing this to happen to my son - what can I do to make them take some action against this boy ! My son no longer feels safe in the playground at school.

[RaisinBoys]

I'm so sorry for your DS and you.

If it were me, I would:

1. Ask for a copy of the school's bullying policy (it should be on the website but asking for it at the office should flag up that you are serious)
   
   
2. Make an immediate appointment with Head or member of the Senior Leadership Team plus the class teacher.
   
   
3. Ask this question: How are you (the school) going to safeguard my DS whilst he is in your care?
   
   "keeping an eye on the situation" is not enough.
   
   If you are not satisfied that the school can keep your child safe and the staff do not come up with a suitable approach you can,
   
   
4. write a formal letter of complaint to the Chair of Governors, cc. to the Local Authority if you wish.
   
   
5. consider whether this is the school that you want your son to attend
   
   Good luck.
   
   In my experience if you do 1) to 4), you probably won't need to consider 5.

[benbecca]

Thanks have called to ask for a meeting and will ask that very question.

[mummytime]

I would just add, it is a very good idea to keep a diary of events your son tells you about or you see.

[learnandsay]

A school that doesn't believe in punishment is just stupid. Talk to the other boy's parents, maybe they can help if the school can't. Or change schools.

[mummytime]

The thing is even when a school doesn't believe in punishment, I bet if you spoke to the kids they would all talk about punishment. The school needs to separate the children. The bully needs to be both helped and it made very clear that bullying is unacceptable. The parents need to be involved. If the bully tries to punish the victim for speaking out, that needs to be dealt with twice as firmly.