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DS 8 & Football

13 replies

cottonsocks2 · 06/04/2011 23:37

I have lovely 8 yr old DS. He's great and really tries at many things. He attends a good local primary where there's a lot of emphasis on football. He sometimes (not one of stronger/better players) plays at school and has recently started playing for an U8's team. Problems is he really isn't very good and doesn't seem to be progressing. As he get's older it'll get more competitive. I don't want him to get upset if he doesn't get picked for team etc or is told by his peers. My OH is a bit competitive too and whilst sometimes is supportive he can also be critical too. Do I let him continue to play and let him find out for himself or try and convince him to come out of team (which I know he REALLY doesn't want to do). This is my first post - hope it's in right place and hope to hear from anyone who might have had experience of this.

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EngineeringDad · 07/04/2011 00:39

The only experience I've had is of being an 8 year old who loved playing football. I think most people who play football or any sport do it because they enjoy it. If they don't enjoy it they'll stop. If he stops enjoying it then thats a good reason to stop otherwise let him carry on.

There are lots of standards of teams within the game and I have been first pick and left as an unused sub in my time. I have learnt from all those experiences but most of all I wish my mum had watched play me more often.

Is he playing with friends or is he trying to keep friends because they play maybe? In any case perhaps a bit of coaching and a few sessions with a ball and a wall may help him.

Hope this helps

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Clary · 07/04/2011 00:41

No experience of this directly but I manage an u8s footie team.

Some of my players are stronger than others, but the whole point of the first 2 years of playing (u7s and u8s) is to develop skills and strength. If he really likes it then I would let him continue to play. If he's only been playing a short while it may take time to see progress. My most improved player this year has been playing with the team for 2 years.

I have weaker players but as far as I know they all enjoy it which is the main thing. In any case often the weaker players have strengths - last year one of my poorer players in terms of skills and big kicking was voted Players' Player - because he is such a nice lad. I have a feeling something similar is set to happen this year too with a different player. Grin

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IloveJudgeJudy · 07/04/2011 08:52

Don't get him to stop. Either he'll improve or he'll want to stop of his own accord.

Perhaps your OH could coach him at the weekend in the park? that would probably help.

My DS tried to start to play football at 8, but the other boys in the team were nasty to him as he was a beginner and they had been playing for a couple of years. The coach didn't stop them. My DH doesn't play football so couldn't help him. My DS gave up.

If your DS stops liking it, he'll let you know.

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cottonsocks2 · 07/04/2011 09:26

Thank you so much for your replies, they're very helpful and have made me feel better.

I don't think he'd allow me/us to stop him playing ... he'd be very upset.

He does talk about playing football but isn't one of those kids who'll go out in the garden and kick a ball around on his own. He does if he has friends or neighbours round. I guess that's were alot of the practising skills comes in.

My worry is next season they'll go into the U9's were I'm told it gets more competitive. At the moment they have 15 in the team which is too many for one team. The coach is trying to recuit more players to have two teams but I'm not sure he'll get the numbers so may have to drop a few players.

We do already spend a bit of time with him in garden and at the park practising and it feels like he's confident and happy to make good tackles etc with us but more reluctant with the team. Maybe that will come in time as you say you need to give them time.

Once again, thank you so much I really appreciate the replies

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crunchbag · 07/04/2011 09:37

Don't stop him playing if he enjoys it. My ds started playing when he was 8, he wasn't very good but really enjoyed it. He is in the U9 this year and his whole team have progressed enormous this season, they all seem to have found their strenghts. The competitive part is that the scores are published but that hasn't really changed anything for our team. Just make sure that the manager let everybody have a go. We have a team of 13, and everybody plays in every match. Ds has a great team who just enjoy playing and are not upset when losing :)

It probably helps that they are in the bottom division, the higher divisions seem far more competitive and win driven.

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crunchbag · 07/04/2011 09:39

Oh and regarding the tackling, last year most of our U8 players would rather step away then tackling another player, that has changed considerably this year :)

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talkingnonsense · 07/04/2011 09:40

Let him play as long as he enjoys it, and maybe try cricket or rugby if he starts to get discouraged?

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ExitPursuedByALamb · 07/04/2011 09:45

Good luck. I have this with my DD and netball. She has managed to cling on to a place on a team until now, but as she moves up to High School I know she will probably not be selected. I keep trying to talk gently to her about it, but the team is her current friendship group as well.

Let him play whilst he is young and it is not too competitive.

We all have hard lessons to learn in life so I just hope this will make my DD stronger.

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cottonsocks2 · 07/04/2011 09:53

Ilovejj - I'm really sorry to hear about your DS. I really don't like that part of football. Thankfully the team DS is with seems ok. Although I know some of that did/does go on at school.

He's never been picked for Man of the Match or anything like that. I know he shouldn't be if it's not deserved.

Cruchbag - really pleased to hear your DS progressing. And the point about tackling....i hope it's just a matter of time.

Exit P - hope all works out for your DD. As you say hard lessons to learn in life. It's very true but you just feel for them.

xx

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ExitPursuedByALamb · 07/04/2011 10:09

I know cottonsocks2. I have sleepless nights about it. I just want the world to be FAIR to her [sob]

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cottonsocks2 · 07/04/2011 12:13

Exit P - yes I get very worried and wish it could be fairer too but life isn't like that for us so maybe they need to learn these lessons a little earlier. I think we just need to be very supportive when/if they get the knocks. My OH can be a bit blunt/critical sometimes...and DS gets upset. I've told him to stop and just support him.

Engineering Dad - interesting point about wishing your mum went to see you play more often. I must admit I try and avoid it as I get quite stressed about it. I need to relax a bit more I think. There's always one of us there to watch him and sometimes both.

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crunchbag · 07/04/2011 14:14

cottonsocks2 I think you need to step back a bit and stop worrying whether or not your son is going to be good enough for the team. He is enjoying it and at this age that is all that matters, skills will develop if you give it time. Stop stressing and start enjoy watching ds playing footie. Let the coach do the coaching and supporters (parents) do the oohing and aahing and cheering :) .

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Clary · 07/04/2011 21:16

Sad that he's not been picked as MotM.

I make sure that everyone gets it at least once a season. Actually the person who misses out most is probably my DS because I don't like to pick him Smile he gets a bit fed up!

I get really stressed watching the match too, cannot bear it if they get downcast (not that they do often!)

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