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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Isn't Primary School supposed to be fun?

21 replies

Jellybellyfish · 27/01/2011 11:21

I have been concerned about my boys primary school for a while now.

The teachers (and TAs) have always been fairly strict but now both my ds are in Key Stage 2, one in Y4 and one in Y6, it is rapidly becoming the school of hard knocks!

I am most concerned about my ds in Y4 who now regularly comes out of school in tears. He does not like his teacher and she admitted to me on Parents Evening that up until then they hadn't seen eye to eye! What kind of admission is that?

A child yesterday was told off for not putting her crayon down immediately when told and as punishment had all her playtimes taken away for the following day. She was heartbroken because she had not meant to be naughty.

What can I do if I think a school is being too harsh on its pupils?

OP posts:

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SenoritaViva · 27/01/2011 11:35

Tough, the example you gave of the girl is excessive. Are other parents concerned? Can you do any volunteering at the school so that you can get some first hand experience of the way they run things? You would then be in a better position to back up your feelings. Also, are any other parents feeling like this?

IndigoBell · 27/01/2011 11:38

You can move school. That is the best thing to do.

You will never change the school or his teacher.

You will find most other schools are much better then what you describe....

(Is this a state school or private?)

jemimapotts · 27/01/2011 11:38

I agree primary should be fun! They are under so much pressure with SATs, League tables, and Ofsted, that they just seem to lay the pressure on the teachers and then the children. It's depressing.

Jellybellyfish · 27/01/2011 11:46

I help out at school, reading with Year 2. That's why I started in the first place to keep an eye on things. The teachers in Foundation and Key Stage 1 are great.

I have thought about moving schools but the other primarys in the area are pretty poor unless I send him to the local Catholic school.

I haven't listed all my gripes, but it has got that bad that I am seriously considering home education. The trouble is, I think he is going to get the same teacher next year!

Yes, I think a few other parents also have worries, but one of my problems is that when I make a complaint they immediately take my ds out of class to get to the bottom of the matter and I feel that pretty soon he going to stop telling me things if he is going to be hauled in front of the Head every time. The Head is always very pleasant to me but when the TA involved denies doing what she did - it is her word against my ds!

You are right - it is depressing!

OP posts:

Jellybellyfish · 27/01/2011 11:47

Sorry - yes it is a state school

OP posts:

Doodlez · 27/01/2011 11:48

I've been thinking about this recently - both my children (Yr3 and Yr5) seem to be micro-managed at the moment and their anxiety levels are through the roof!

OTOH, no discipline is nearly as bad and just as stressful for them!

IndigoBell · 27/01/2011 11:49

Home Educating is a valid option. (Although quite a scary one.)

Is there really no other school you could go to??????? This does sound bad......

This will not get better. It really won't.

FreudianSlippery · 27/01/2011 11:51

Ugh that sounds horrible.

Homeschooling is a very valid option - have you suggested this to your boys?

jemimapotts · 27/01/2011 11:53

I moved my DSs to another school when they were in Y3 and Y5. The infant department in the first was quite good, far more nurturing, creative and fun! Once in Key stage 2 they seemed to start to put the pressure on. They get fantastic SATS results for the cohort.
Are you in the inner city? I've come to the conclusion that they are under alot of pressure in these areas.

Jellybellyfish · 27/01/2011 11:57

No not an inner city - more a backwater town.

I have mentioned home schooling to my ds in Y4 and he wants to do it as he cannot face another year with the same teacher.

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nipplesofthenorth · 27/01/2011 11:58

DH and I decided to Home School DS3 (10) and DS4 (7) a couple of weeks ago for very similar reasons and (so far crosses fingers) we're all feeling happier and more relaxed. They aren't stressed all the time and worrying about school and I'm not worrying about them all day. We're still in a period of de-schooling but I have positive feelings about the future.

FreudianSlippery · 27/01/2011 12:04

Ooh that's very exciting! I've always thought it must be frustrating if a parent thinks HE is a good idea, but the child has school so ingrained that they don't want to IYSWIM!

If you can, then give it a go with your younger son, and maybe your elder son will like the idea too?

If you haven't already looked, the home ed board is fantastic on MN, it can be a bit slow (ie not much traffic) but full of great advice!

IndigoBell · 27/01/2011 12:07

Go for HE! I would in a shot if my DC would agree to it.....

Jellybellyfish · 27/01/2011 12:13

I think it would work as my younger son, the one who is currently having problems, is so easy to manage. He always does his homework straight away without having to be asked twice. I know he would miss his school friends though.

He is very sociable and I think this is partly why his teacher doesnt like him.

I recently asked if he could be allowed a little longer to eat his lunch as they only have 20 mins and she observed him that day eating.

She told me he is too sociable and spends all his time talking.

I tried to tell her that as the children are not allowed to talk during lessons, surely they need to be able to talk at lunch time but she kept talking over me.

I don't want all the life and joy squashing out of my child which is what seems to be happening.

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 27/01/2011 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

campergirls · 27/01/2011 12:22

'not allowed to talk during lessons' . sounds like an utterly dire school

jemimapotts · 27/01/2011 12:24

The teacher sounds so mean. However you'd be very lucky if you didn't come across one meanie in your school career. After all the world has meanies all over the place.
I'd be wary of taking a sociable child out of the school system because of a meanie.
DS1 had a meanie, and several people complained about her, including me. She left the school last year, too late for my DS, but complaining can do something.

Jellybellyfish · 27/01/2011 12:29

Thanks all for your comments. It's hard when you have nothing to compare against. Sometimes you don't know if you're making a fuss about nothing.

OP posts:

jemimapotts · 27/01/2011 12:32

Trust your own instinct. You know your DC best.

LindyHemming · 27/01/2011 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudianSlippery · 27/01/2011 13:36

OP, I don't think comparison is really relevant here (though obviously it's natural to want to) - all that matters is that YOUR child is miserable, and clearly this is the wrong school for him.

You could always agree to homeschool until September and see how it goes? It sounds like you wouldn't have trouble getting work done as he sounds like a 'good boy' IYSWIM, just chatty with it - but you would need to make sure DS realises you'd still be learning at home and not just watching telly all day :o

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