Ds in reception - apparently teacher needs to talk to me about an 'education plan' - do i mention my ASD concerns?

[iPaddle]

Hopefully we'll be able to talk about it after school today, but I'm confused.

Does this mean the school have identified him as having problems? A few little things have been mentioned at parent evenings but when I asked if they thought he possibly had LD's, was told he was very similar to lots of other children in the class, nothing to worry about etc.

The thing is, I think there are issues. I have felt he displays many ASD traits since he was about 1-2yo.

I'm just not sure how to broach this with the school - was hoping they would take the lead on this, he's in reception now but was in the schools nursery last year and in parents evenings then, the same issues were mentioned but, again, they dont seem to want to say there may be an actual, underlying problem. So im left thinking that maybe im being ott and feel reluctant to mention my concerns about ASD.

But they must surely have considered the possibility - the probems I see with him, and those the teachers see (but always say 'we'll keep an eye ont it and see how it goes' - but they've now been saying that for 15months) are pretty classic traits: repetitive speech; repeating back what is being said to him rather than a two-way conversation (he is capable of conversation though); shutting down - going blank, vacant, unresponsive; not often picking up on social cues - tends to forge on being affectionate when its clear another child doesnt want to interact with him; he's a smart boy but instructions are often lost on him - for instance this morning i told him to go get his gloves off the sofa - he walked into the kitchen, i said no the sofa is in the living room, looked a bit confused, almost went into his bedroom then went into living room and started looking in the bookcase!; can get anxious with loud noises; doesnt like anything messy, painting, wet play etc. There's more but I'd be here all day

I know all of that could mean nothing though, I suppose I just dont know how to go about talking about these concerns without looking like an over anxious parent especially as i get the impression the school feel there may be an issue too but are reluctant to really say it. So could this education plan thingy be the chance to discuss it?

I am just starting to see his odd ways having an effect on how he is treated by class mates, so if there is an issue there probably it needs to looked into sooner rather than later - until now i guess ive been happy to just go with what the school say and leave it up to them to see if they think there's something wrong.

He is such a gorgeous, gentle, funny, kind little thing and its just starting to seem real now that if there is something going on then its just going to get more and more apparent because he certainly seems more noticably different to his peers than he did in nursery.

Oh god, i've rambled so much - sorry and thanks if you've read all this. I rarely talk about any of this (although I do have a SN teacher friend who is great and fwiw has told me she believes there are very clear autistic traits in ds - i dont push the topic though because i know she feels bad for 'confirming' my thoughts, though tbh it is jus a relief to have someone say, yes, i see what you are saying) I dont know what im asking really - just feel like ive pushed all these thoughts to the back of my mind but being told this morning about this education plan thing im wondering if this is that moment ive been waiting for and i dont want to miss the opportunity to get this all on the table iyswim. But without looking like im being over-anxious, preferably!

[MollieO]

Why wouldn't you want to mention it if it will enable your ds to get the help he needs? I would take the opportunity to voice your concerns. The teacher will be able to say whether she shares your concerns. I've had issues with ds that his teacher isn't bothered with at all but I wanted her to know what I thought.

[iPaddle]

I have said it before - but always been told they are happy to just 'see how it goes'.

I suppose I just feel confused about whether to push the issue - if they still brush it off, do i accept there is no real problem or do schools often do this even when they believe the child may have LD's of some description.

[shongololo]

be open with the teacher- tell her what you are noticing, and ask her if, with her huge experience, she has noticed anything "...or is it me just being a bit over anxious?"

I would think this will give he teacher an "in" to discuss her concerns in more detail.

I know in our infants, the head teacher has to take a softly softly approach with some mums because they dissolve in teas at any hint that there might be something amiss.

If you have concerns, be upfront and open. It makes for a much easier dialogue between you and the teacher moving forwards!

[IndigoBell]

1. Tell the school your concerns (I have this very same meeting booked in tody for DS2 :( )
   

Some schools aren't very good at broaching the subject with parents because they don't know how you'll react.

Also you saying the word 'ASD' to them might give them a lightbulb moment where they realise how much it explains...


But 2. If they don't agree with you it absoltely does not mean that he doesn't have ASD. School are not qualified to diagnose. You need to see your GP and ask for a referral to a paedetrician so that the dx process can begin.

Only then will you know for sure....

[oddgirl]

Teachers cannot "diagnose" ASD so many are reluctant to actually say the words-I agree with shongololo-open dialogue and frank discussions of your concerns will really open up the process and ultimately gain the support needed for you DS...have you thought about discussing your concerns with your GP- a visit to a developmental paed can be really useful...I would not go for the "see how it goes" approach. The quicker you access support/help the better ime-even if it all sorts itself out in the end-and hopefully it will-its so much easier if you already have things in place and you just need to pull back on support for him. Really hope all goes well.

[oddgirl]

Sorry-x post with indigo!

[iPaddle]

Thank you, those posts are really helpful.

I think its encouragement that I can be the one to bring it up - ASD rather than a set of vague behaviours - that I need. I guess I'm worried about how they'll react to me bringing it up and maybe they're concerned about how i'd react if they did!

Sorry to hear that IndigoBell - so do you actually know what this meeting is then? See I dont even know. When she said she needed to speak to me about an education plan i asked what that was and she said oh its just about the things we discussed at persnts evening - nothing to worry about. I do get the feeling that she is tiptoeing around me but what I actually want is for all our concerns to be out in the open

[iPaddle]

I think thats part of my confusion. I thought/hoped the school would guide me as to whether or not to start some sort of assessment process - it hasn't really occured to me to go down the GP route.

[oddgirl]

When I went through a similar process with DS (5) now diagnosed ASD, you could almost hear the audible sigh of relief from the teachers that we had brought up the subject of ASD. Once the "elephant in the room" had been squashed, we could all get on with discussing the IEP (individual education plan) for DS which was about addressing the issues he was having and supporting him through this. It sounds like they are going for an IEP with your DS...

[oddgirl]

Dont wait for school for assessment-go to your GP

[MollieO]

If you think it is ASD then it isn't something that an Ed Psych will deal with. Go to your GP and get a referral to the Child Development Centre - they will be be able to diagnose ASD.

[iPaddle]

Ok, so GP is the way to go.
Wish I'd asked this a long time ago.

[berniepm]

You are right to be concerned. As a teacher and aunt of a child with ASD, it is great to meet parents who are not afraid to talk about a serious need. Many parents do not know their child has lds until they go to school. Many of them do not want to face them and hope they will go away. As your child is very young, an early diagnosis will get them more support and it should not take too long. After the age of 5, the wait for referrals is usually long. Your child may have a language difficulty rather than asd. Often asd is not the diagnosis as this would trigger funding. More often a speech and language delay is the label used. You must get a paediatric referral. If there is a long wait, you might consider a private assessment. This can trigger support too. A proactive approach is the way forward. My own nephew was helped hugely by the Osteopathic Centre for Children, now in Clerkenwell. There is one in Manchester too. This is a charitable foundation and the work done there is stunning. They change lives every day. After a treatment there, my nephew would do something he had not done before. They can recommend conventional and alternative approaches. Hope this is helpful.

[IndigoBell]

Bernie - not sure that all of what you have said is correct. A dx of ASD does not trigger any extra funding nor is it easier to get a referral before 5 than after 5.

There are govt targets to be met and the wait for the initial paed apptointment is not normally long.

But being proactive is good advice.

[mrz]

As a SENCO I agree with IndigoBell a diagnosis of ASD doesn't automatically trigger funding. We have a number of children diagnosed ASD but only 1 with a statement

[MrsDingDongMerrily]

You may be able to get a pediatric assessment via the school nurse, we are going down this route with DS just now as well as Ed. Psych, our SENCO told us the school nurse referrals get dealt with by the pediatrician more quickly than GP referrals, may be different in different areas.

[mrz]

In my area GP referrals are much quicker I'm afraid and if ASD is suspected a paediatrician would refer to CAMHS so direct referral by GP is best.

[spanieleyes]

I took my son to our GP with my concerns, two weeks later we had our first CAHMs meeting. We never quite managed a ASD diagnosis, he has BESD, but the support we received from CAHMs was superb.

[Lara2]

I agree with the other posters. Go to your GP and get a referral to CAHMS. I stupidly waited for the school to help me (and I'm a teacher, should've known better!!) and it took eons! The minute I started the ball rolling it went quicker. In my area, they are very reluctant to diagnose young children, which is totally frustrating in many cases. If it's Asperger's they won't diagnose until at least 7. My DS got his dx at 12!! It did eventually lead to funding because (after a fight) he got a low incidence (very few children like him), fully funded statement. A dx doesn't automatically lead to funding. If the county think he's high incidence (eg: LOTS of children are the same as him) he may get a statement but no funding to go with it. The school would have to find the money in their existing budget to pay for the provision in a statement.

Most definately say something to his teacher, lay it all on the line. She may say that compared to the other children he's not out of the ordinary to the extent that a dx is needed. But it depends how much you trust her judgement.

[rabbitstew]

Definitely get straight to the point and mention your concerns about ASDs. See what the school says and discuss with them whether to ask for a referral via GP or through them - you will then get a good idea of the level of school support you will get in pursuing a diagnosis! This will be helpful info when battling for a statement... My ds1's school was a huge help - I'd been taking ds1 to see a developmental paediatrician for years at the Child Development Centre, he'd seen physio, SALT and OT... it wasn't until the school re-referred with their own concerns (ie confirmed my concerns...) and I got access to a clinical psychologist for ds1 that we got a diagnosis. The school's support was vital in the process.

[iPaddle]

Thanks all.

I had a meeting with the his teacher, she talked me through his IEP and I explained that I had concerns about an underlying issue with him and was wondering about having him assessed.

On the one hand she continued to say he wasnt the only child who needed an IEP, it could all be something he'll grow out of etc, etc but also said that starting the process for having it all looked into further was probably a good idea. At least on the basis that its easier to stop the ball rolling than to start it. She also said that I'd be better going through the GP as going through the school is likely to take much longer - so pretty much what most have been saying here!

So I'll be taking him to the GP in the holidays.

[nlondondad]

Yes take him to the GP. And ask for a referral to have ASD considered. If he does not have ASAD important to have that eliminated. If he does have ASD and particularly if he has Asperger's which from your brief description is possible, then an early diagnoses is extremely important as there are very helpful therapeutic options. On the other hand if he does not have ASAD but a language issue the earlier that is addressed the better.

Good luck.

You may well be starting a process that will give him a higher quality of life. Lucky for him that you notice.