really worried, Welfare education officer is on my back re dd's days off a t the start of term

[PirateScaredyCat]

Dd was put under the watchful eye of the welfare officer when she was off with her hip problem in may/june/july.

The woman visited us, said she would give us a ring and see how things were going before the end of the summer term. Never did.

On friday i got a letter form her saying can i come in for a meeting this week. She says she see's that dd is back at school but that her attendance is stillpoor.

dd has been ill ffs, she had the virus that half her her yr had. I spoke to one mum who said her dd had had a total of 7 days off over 4 weeks, prob about the same as dd has. It was a really bad virus that kept going away then coming back, dd had fever, headaches, sore throat and was so bad some days she was hallucinating.

any way. i will ring this woman tomorrow, how do i play it. i am pretty pissed off. the school showed no support whren dd was ill last term.

the craziest thing too, is that this week she is representing her school ( is on the G=T list) at the local University.!!!

[amidaiwish]

i would just tell her what has been wrong. she is just checking up why she has missed x many days of school. try not to take it so personally/get too defensive.

[MaudOHara]

TBH its probably something triggered automatically when a child reaches x number of days off school.

High levels of absence can be linked to other underlying problems within the family which is why they look into it.

I'd just chat cheerily to them through gritted teeth and that will probably be the end of it

[PirateScaredyCat]

ok, i know. i am being defensive and taking it personally.

i try so hard to always do the right thing and it totally freaks me out when i get in trouble.

I will tell her, i just wish the school would ask, or i wish she could have rung and asked. instead of being summoned to bloody school for a waste of time meeting.

thanks. i will play it totally calm and not react. thanks.

[Doodlez]

She's just ticking the right boxes by the sounds of it. X number of days off regardless of reason = check-up from WO. It's an automatic alert that they just want to check out.

Play it cool and calm. Explain again what your DD has been off for and make it simple, so she can write up her notes succinctly!

[PirateScaredyCat]

i think that is also what irks me, the statistic and numbers thing, which i get, to a degree.

i told my good friend, who home educates and as expected she was like 'don't let them bully you' !

I suppose they don't know why she's been off. Yet a phonecall would suffice. Just bloody ask me.

[AMumInScotland]

They probably have to do it as a meeting to make sure you have a chance to say if there are other worries/issues, whereas with a phone call it would be easy to say "no problems" and they might not pck up on the families where there is a problem. You don't have to let them "bully" you, but they are trying to do their job by checking that there isn't something underlying the ill health. It sounds from what you say that there isn't anything, and I'm sure they'll be happy to tick their "don't worry" box once they see you.

If it was a recurrence of the same problem, they'd probably want to talk about strategies for not letting it affect her studies. But as it was a virus this time round, they will no doubt just mark it up as ordinary stuff and leave it at that.

[brassband]

She won't know what the reason is and probably concerned her hip is still causing problems and if anything can be done to support her.

[cory]

Have been through it and it can be very stressful, particularly if child has a condition where you suspect it may reoccur. Dd's school had endless trouble accepting that just because you have a chronic condition, this does not mean that you are therefore immune to all the ordinary flus and poxes and tummy bugs that children get. They seemed to think that dd had somehow used up her rations.

I had to work very hard to get them to see that a child who is struggling with a medical condition is likely to have her immune system lowered, so is actually likely to get more flus and bugs and poxes.

Best of luck for the meeting, bring all the paperwork, and try to be very sweet and charming to win EWO on your side. It may be that she is a perfectly sensible person- I've met a few- who just wants to make sure her paperwork is in order.

[PirateScaredyCat]

yes, and thanks cory how are you?

i guess they are there for support reasons, and to help with alternative schooling.

just more pressure i really don't need at the moment.

i will charm her tomorrow, she is quite hippyish looking and this was one of the reasons i let her thru the front door last time lol.

[PirateScaredyCat]

I rang the officer yesterday, she wasn't there, so i left a message and an email to say i wished to speak to her about the appt.
The receptionist took my numbers and said the officer would call me. Waited all today, and finally tried her again at 3.

I got through and she was tbh quite huffy when i asked could i discuss it on the phone, and said no i have to come in. So i am glad i managed to contact her, as the appt is thursday, yet am really nervous. I just don't want to get upset in front of her.

[carefulwiththataxe]

Try not to get upset. I work in a school office and this whole thing about attendance has been prioritised recently. The gov't is apparently concerned that poor attendance is causing problems in schools and consequently WEOs have been told to check up on absences more thoroughly. This may be a good thing in some cases but I suppose inevitably some people get caught up in it whose children have genuine reasons for being off. This woman is probably putting pressure on you because someone is putting presure on her to explain poor attendance records in some schools. All schools have to try to meet attendance targets and authorised and unauthorised absences will pull their attendance percentages down.
Having said that, I don't understand why you are not getting any support from the school - if they know that your daughter has been genuinely ill they should be able to help you to explain the situation to the WEO.

[PirateScaredyCat]

hey thanks for explaining things from the inside a bit!

I will treat it with a pinch of salt, and try to remove my fragile guilt ridden (motherly) emotions during it.

[PirateScaredyCat]

well it wasn't pleasant. i bawled my eyes out as i reall felt as though i was in a no win situation.

How exactl do you answer the question ' how can you improve dd's attendance' i said if she is ill she is ill, she gets ill she's one of the illest children i know.
head got a bit angry , and i pointed out that i do my utmost.

I said, the time you are on about she's not the only one who wasn't struck down with the bug. He later sort of apologised for having a go about that. He said no other kids have the pattern of time off she has ( not including the hip time), and i said well, what can i do, she is on eof those kids who gets everthing tenfold, always has been.

i said, i was glad we had had the meeting, and that as i always do i would do my best.
Left in sunglasses and in tears.

[cory]

You poor thing.

I have been there, I have so been there. "What can you do"- well, you know, Mr Headteacher if you have any suggestions for making dd not disabled/ill, I'd be happy to hear them

[PirateScaredyCat]

thanks cory, i feel a bit of a twat for blubbing so much, but i also think, 'well you made your point too'

i know how hard it's been for you too. x

[cory]

I am not sure blubbing is always a bad thing. Sometimes they need the reality of it brought home to them.

[TLC123]

went through a simlar thing with my dd, at meeting with school, I printed off loads of info from local authority web site about educating sick children, and how they should provide my dd with an education if she was to ill to attend school, it shut them up a bit! The whole well she needs to be in school talk really gets to me, yes I knew that, but she was ill! my other dd at same school had 100% attendance.

In the end we did have a visit from attendace officer at home, he was a lovely man, told me if dd didn't want to attend school he could arrange one or two days at college for her instead (was in gcse years) none of the 'telling off' i got from school attendance officers. He said school didn't suit some children and there were alternatives.

[PirateScaredyCat]

thankyou, for sharing. I feel much better today, i think the head was a tad sheepish when i left. it was all very jobsworth, esp for him, he is normally ver approachable.

He did say as i left do come and see me if you ever need to chat. No actually i wont, i don't trust you anymore, and I've chatted to you in the past and you've let us down before.

If they were so fucking concerend about her missing work why didn't they send anything home for her or contact me when she was ill with hip gate for 2/3 months? I asked them on several occasions.

cocks