First Ever Parents Evening

[Poogles]

DS started reception a few weeks ago and we have our first parents evening coming up on Monday. Just wanted some advice on broaching the issue of whether he should move class.

During his 1st week, DS came home saying he had done nothing and nobody played with him. Had a chat with the teacher at the end of the week 'how's he settling in?' and was told he is the most sociable child in the class and very busy going from one activity to another.

I don't want to go to the school as a pushy parent or come across as PFB, but during our chats he is telling me that he is bored and that he isn't doing any work (I think he expected school to be different from nursery). He has also said that he doesn't want to go to school if he has to be in reception because it makes him sad, although he does love Miss N and would miss her. He is a very bright boy - according to the nursery, not me! - and very confident.

The school have a Y1/Reception mixed class made up of the younger Y1 and older reception children. As DS has been in full time nursery from age 9 months, I wonder if this class will suit him better even though he is classed as one of the 'younger' reception children (end of April). He has always gravitated towards older kids and has been in trouble at school for playing with the Y2 children rather than his own class.

I know what kids tell you and reality and often poles apart so I do want to find out how things are before I wade in but if he isn't being challeneged is it worth asking about the class change? Really don't want to be pushy but don't also realise DS relies on me to do what is best for him!

Your advice please!

[Itsjustafleshwound]

Personally, I know you are worried about your child and want the best for him. But often it isn't always about school work - perhaps the teacher is still trying to get a handle on everyone's ability??

I just don't think the teachers will have a 'handle'on the class after a short 3-4 weeks of school and it will come across as pushy if you start demanding that your son is moved ...

[Poogles]

Thanks! I think I am just a bit more anxious as I work full time and so very rarely get to pick up DS from school and speak to the teacher to understand what is going on.

I think my head said wait till he's had time to settle, where as my heart wants me to make everythign perfect for him!!

[AMumInScotland]

I think it would be fair to raise things with the teacher - saying that he is claiming to be bored etc, and see what the teacher says. But in all honesty I don't think you need to start thinking about moving him to a different class because of it - it's more a case of him settling in and the teacher finding the best ways to encourage and motivate each of the children.

If you did move him to another class, he'd almost certainly say the same things about it, as its just the way things are when they are new to school.

Wanting things to be perfect for him is understandable, but actually learning that he can cope with the odd little wrinkle in life is a much better thing for him - dealing with this (which is quite minor in the overall scheme of things) will give him confidence to deal with the next hiccup in his path, and so on. Its one of the trickiest things when they go out of your reach into school, but its really better to save your intervention for much bigger things.

HTH

[Poogles]

It does help! And you're right I am feeling a little bit out of control. The nursery would give me a daily report on food, behaviour, likes etc and now if I get 2 words from him it's a result. Need to step back a bit I think!

I was relieved not to get the last appointment for parents evening, even though we expressed it as our preference - have convinced myself that if DS was the worst child in class, she would have had us last in case we ran over time!!!

[sarararararah]

No, she wouldn't! I always put someone "easy" at the end of the parents' evening to avoid running over time. I put trickier ones earlier as if there is someone waiting we have to end the conversation! (That doesn't mean she thinks you are tricky by the way - I like to intersperse "easy" ones throughout the evening to break it up a bit!)

I think it unlikely he really is bored. Reception classes are usually FULL of activity; it would be quite tricky for them to be truly bored. He may mean he doesn't know how to access the activities or he's not sure how to play with who he wants to or something else entirely. If I were you I'd ask what sort of things he gets up to during his time there. What does he CHOOSE to do and see whether it's what you would expect for him. If it isn't, you can let her know what he likes to do at home and she can encourage him a bit more.

The academic stuff will step up a bit as the term progresses. It's quite time consuming working out where 30 little people are with their learning and she's probably only just sussed it. Again, ask her what sorts of things he'll be learning in the coming weeks. It SHOULD be like nursery as they are both part of the EYFS. I would wait to hear what the teacher has to say before deciding how to proceed, however, I'm almost 100% certain that changing classes would make no difference whatsoever and I wouldn't even consider it at our school unless there was a VERY good reason.

Hope this helps a little. Try to relax. It's still early days - for everyone.

[Kewcumber]

"DS came home saying he had done nothing and nobody played with him"

I thought they all said this?! Thought ti was code for "stop bugging me, I can't remember and I'm too tired to think about it now"

I volunteered at school yesterday and there wasn;t a child who wasn't busy and playing with other children. Many of them haven't really made friedns yet its too early but most of their activities were done in small group and they certainly all chatted.

I was a revelation to me and I shall never belive DS again when he tells me that he did "nothing" and played with "no-one".

[Poogles]

He uses the word 'bored' but I think he probably means 'challenged'!

I'm going to go with an open mind and ask about what he has been up to , what he likes doing, what he will be doing etc.

He has said that he saw Billy in the playground which makes me think he isn't settling as well as I would like (Billy is an imaginary friend he had that arrived at his old nursery when they went through some staff changes. DS moved to a new nursery 6 months ago because we relocated and only mentioned once that Billy had been in to see how happy he was there). Not worried about the imaginary friend btw (unless he starts getting blamed for any behaviour which he hasn't so far - DS relays conversations he has had with Billy about things!)

[Poogles]

x-post with Kewcumber!

I do agree that the 'I did nothing' is a cue for I don't want to/can't be bothered to talk!