Has your Reception child made lots of friends yet?

[mamatilly]

Please help a new Reception mum calm down!

DS seems happy at school, excited to go every day, but he says he doesn;t like anyone in class, he was friends with one girl but now she says she doesn't want to be his friend anymore, he is now fixated on another girl because she invited him to her party!

He has been picked on once in the playground by another Reception boy, and also once by a group of Yr 2 children (teacher has resolved this one for us) - I just wish he was in a little group of children his age so he is safe and included.

Parents evening in afew weeks so i guess I can ask teacher how DS is settling in, but am not used to all the playground politics/dramas - is this just how it is? Does it all sound normal? Is he doing OK?!!

THankyou x

[thisisyesterday]

ds1 didn';t make friends for a while either. then we met a little boy who walked home the same way as us, so they became friends

ask his teacher if there is anyone in particular he plays with, then you can invite them over for tea!

[mamatilly]

ooh thankyou for that idea, i might try to ask teacher tomorrow.

[ghenghismaam]

mamat - I have exactly the same worries - DS is the only one in his class who didn't go to the attached pre school so there were some fairly well established friendships going on already at the start of term.

However at the end of last week I could see light at the end of the tunnel - DS talking about and saying goodbye to other boys, another mum coming up to me and saying that my DS is all her DS talks about, so I think I'm gradually getting from 'OMG my child has no friends' to 'actually he seems to be getting to know a lot of them'.

It's his birthday in Dec so I'm going to let him choose who he wants to come to his party(2 classes of 30 so no whole class party!! ) and hopefully have a couple over for tea at half term/in the week.

It is a battlefield - I'm only now starting to appreciate after 4 weeks just how rude/ignorant but also friendly and lovely other mums/dads can be! I've been trapped in a pre-school bubble...and that's just me, what a huge thing it is for our DCs not just all the reading/writing etc but social stuff even more important.

Keep me posted on how you get on?

[mamatilly]

Hi ghengismaam, yes i too feel i have been in a preschool bubble without even realising i was! DS has a birthday this term and I have no idea what we will do yet - there is simply no-one to invite!!! maybe in afew weeks it will be different... i hope so.

thankyou for your post.

[Anenome]

My DD is 6 now...but I well remember the fear...and all Mums have it! It is very normal and I would agree that friendships remian fluid for the next two years in my eperience....kids will go and new ones arrive in the next two years as parents seek the best choice for their DC's....your son will defintely benefit from having someone home for tea though...it really bonds them.

[MrsBrollyhook]

I had the same concerns with DD1 (now YR1), but it just takes time. She's very shy and didn't go to the pre-school, but was happy going in every day. We arranged play dates after school and it really helped. She now says all the girls are her friends (def not any boys, but that's another story!) and has a core group of about 8 friends.

[dilemma456]

You think 2 classes of thirty is bad ghenheeismam? A school not far from me has an intake of FIVE classes of thirty every year. Its huge.

DD has been in her school since nursery so has a lot of friends. They had quite a bit new intake this year though and girls who'd come through from pre-school were matched up with new girls and told to look after them. DD is VERY proud that its her job to "look after F and make sure she has people to play with and doesn't get lost

[dilemma456]

sorry posted by accident.

I agree with the others, the friendships are so fluid at this age and they seem to change from week to week before they settle down

[Rollergirl1]

My DD is only entering her 3rd week today so and is also doing mornings only so it's still early days. But she only (vaguely) knew 2 other children before starting in Reception and I think she is pretty much clinging to those two like glue! Like someone else said the majority of the class all went to Pre-school together so friendships are very established, with the children and the Mum's. I am finding it quite hard myself to break into the clique of the Mum's who's children went to the Pre-school. Still, DD is excited to go in each morning. But she doesn't seem ready or willing to mix with any of the other kids just yet. I guess it will come in time though. I hope so!

[ghenghismaam]

Quick update from us - had a word with the teacher today about how DS was settling in (didn't have word because I was worried IYSWIM but because we've been offered a place at our first choice school, which we lost our appeal for..) anyway he said DS was one of the least he had any concerns about settling in, wouldn't have known that he didn't know anyone and he has a group of about 8 or so friends who all play together really well!
So contrary to our fears, DS has overcome our biggest ie not knowing anyone and not able to make friends - so he's staying there!
Dilemma I know it's not that big, but the other 6 schools in our little market town are a third of the size so it's perceived as big
Rollergirl now I'm happy with Ds being there - my next mission is to ignore the cliquey pre school mums and get to know the ones who seem like me, not know too many others

[Rollergirl1]

Ghengis: Good to hear that it sounds like DS is settling well and making friends. With regards to the Mum's, that is exactly what I have done. I have started getting quite friendly with two other Mums who's children also didn't go to the Pre-school. And they are working mums like me so I think we will have a lot more in common than the Mum's of the Pre-school gang. That is the other thing I am finding though, because I can actually only do the school run on Monday's and Friday's I don't come in to as much contact with the other Mum's. And also because DD is doing mornings only I am only seeing half of the Mum's when I pick up at midday.

The other thing is that I don't really get a chance to speak to the teacher to see how DD is getting on when I pick her up. Because she is picked up at lunchtime the hand-over is very quick as the teacher needs to get back to the rest of the class so I never feel like I can hold her up to ask questions. I think I am probably more anxious about the whole school experience than DD is!