Advice needed please

[highfive]

My dd (aged 6) has just finished Year 1. She's in a small, independent school which only goes up to the end of Year 2 following which she will need to go to another school, depending on how she does with entrance exams which she will be sitting in January next year.

Our dilemma is that there are two schools which most of the girls seem to go to (or apply to). One is a highly academic girl's school with a reputation for producing very high results and being one of the "top" schools in the country. The second is a very good school which appears to be slightly less academic, more pastoral care and more focussed on sport.

We always said that we would be guided by her current school as we feel they know her very well but to our total suprise, they have recommended that she apply for both and that she stands a good chance of getting into the top one. However, in order to do this, she would have to have some extra tuition in spelling and writing. They tested her at length and as she is age 6 yrs 3 months at the time of the tests and she apparently scored reading age 8.2, maths age 8.4, writing 7.6 and spelling 7.4. Apparently the writing and reading needs to be up in the 8 years plus and they feel she can achieve this between now and January if we give her some extra help.

OK, I realise that the above sounds ludicrous - surely she doesn't "need" to be any higher than she is and what she's achieving is fantastic but on the other hand by dh feels that it would be a huge mistake for us NOT to at least give her the opportunity to get into this school as he feels it's a "once in a lifetime" opportunity.

I have a feeling we will be shot down in flames asking this, but seriously, what would you do given this situation? I'm having sleepless nights about this. She seesm totally unfazed by the workload she's been given (so young!) and loves her school so whilst I know she's been hot-housed, I feel she's loving it.

Any thoughts appreciated...

[CarGirl]

I think my issue would be if she got in due to hot housing but was then always lower ability then how will she feel.

Some children peak academically much earlier than others.

Would she continue to need the hot housing to keep up.......

[iloverainbows]

If the school believes that your daughter has the ability then they should be able to deliver within the school day, I say this based on the fact she is at an independent school. I would be asking the school what they are going to do within the classroom and perhaps setting some extra challenges at home for her to achieve this. As someone who sends a child to an indie school I don't believe in paying again for extra tutoring, if the school sees potential and can't realise it then they aren't doing their job.

[CarGirl]

Also the the school will benefit by having x pupils go onto y school - it looks good on them but at whose expense.

[thirtysomething]

Ditto pixie - very sound advice.

The school has a vested interest in her getting into the more high-flying school and so whilst they may have her best interests at heart, they may also have an eye on economic realities of filling places....

[LIZS]

If she stands a good chance of getting in then there should be no need for additional tuition. Hate to say it but good those results are they are not exceptional and others may well catch her up or even overtake her as year 2 can be a levelling year. Which school do you think would suit her better in the longer term ?

[mrz]

I'm having difficulty with the concept of a "highly academic" school and a target of only 8 years plus...
Is the current school offering extra tuition?

[backtotalkaboutthis]

If you think it won't upset her and overwork her, then give her the tuition and aim for the better school. I suppose I would visit the school and make sure it was pretty rounded in terms of sports, extra curricular, music and so on. But I would definitely go for the school that aims higher academically.

Certainly it might not actually mean "hot housing" exactly. To aim higher than the current good UK state school is not really to aim so high that the children will die of stress. Also, your child is working pretty way above what's expected of her without being stressed (by the sound of it).

It sounds like she will absolutely fly if you stretch her a bit. I would not listen to people who say don't bother. I would definitely bother, because she will be advantaged again at 11, again at 13 and again at 16.

It might help her get into a really good grammar at 11 and save you a whole bunch of school fees too.

[racingheart]

I'd look very closely at the academic school and see how well rounded the children are who come out of it. Good academic results are wonderful but so is a well-rounded, well-socialised child who knows how to adapt and fit in and enjoy life. Long term, the second set of attributes hold you in better stead for career success.

[SandStorm]

Why on earth would you want to give a child so young extra tuition? She has a lifetime of education ahead of her. Let her come home in the afternoon and be a child.