If your child's report said this how would you help?

[UberPot]

'Next year he will need to try hard not to be influenced by others'.

What sort of things would you do / say?

Can the school do much to help do you think.

He is going in to year one.

[colditz]

Um.... you could say "Don't do naughty things just because K is doing it, think before you do things please, or your teacher will tell you off too. 'He did it first' isn't a reason, it's an excuse."

[scurryfunge]

Does he get a choice about who he sits next to?

Might be that the school could pair him with someone who will have a positive influence.

[IndigoBell]

He's very young. Do you think it's a problem? He will grow up and mature whether you do anything or not....

[UberPot]

I'm not sure if I am reading too much into it but I have noticed he attaches himself to other children and wants to do what they do.

He really needs to have a stronger sense of self.

[GypsyMoth]

i wouldnt even try to analyse a year one/reception report this closely!! they change so much!! its not as if he' doing gcse coursework or the teacher is worried!! its just a comment at this stage

[aegeansky]

UberPot, so he's in yr R now. That's still very young. Children basically aren't capable of making long term plans about their behaviour at this age, nowhere near ready!

Good behaviour management in the school is about catching and rewarding good behaviour when it happens. Resisting peer pressure is tricky and quite an abstract thing to explain, even to much older children.

You could try to get him to play with some friends that model good behaviour, as well as his existing friends. You could also have a reward chart with ticks for days when he stays out of trouble for copying his peers. Ideally, though, it's the school that should lead on this if that's where the problem is.

[UberPot]

Yes that's true it may just be a maturity thing.

[UberPot]

I guess I'm more worried that strong children have a huge effect on him, I have noticed that. I don't mind so much if he plays up in French because Jimmy does.

But an overall attitude thing. It id hard to guide him, but he is young.

[aegeansky]

UberPot, it's quite normal for children to work out where they fit and how they can best belong. It's very very hard to guide a child of this age other than by directly showing them how to behave (modelling) in the setting in which the behaviour is a problem. This clearly isn't possible for you. But don't worry unduly. Social and emotional development is right at the foreground of the reception year and children are still working it out well into year 1 and beyond.

In time, he'll probably bring the problem to you in his own words, and then you'll be able to break it down for him, bit by bit, and over a few months or so, he'll start to understand.

[UberPot]

thanks folks. So what usually happens is he wants to do whatever friend a or b is doing after school. I am going to use this as an opportunity to help him choose to do something else.

I know he gets buffeted around a bit by their choices.

Hope that sounds like a good idea.