DD has been told she can't walk with them anymore.

[Rainbowshit]

Bit gutted for her. Do I do anything?

4 of them been walking to school together. Just one has said she can't walk with them, but seems to be dominating the others.

I know the mum well. I know the mum would be furious if I told her.

DD just doesn't seem that bothered. Been walking with other girls.

Today one of the original group of 4 ran to catch up with her and said sorry.

It's so hard but minded to not interfere. I tend to think they need to navigate these things themselves. WWYD?

I’d tell the other mum her daughter is being a bully.

’let them navigate it themselves’ just means the bullies rule, I’m a big fan of interfering and protecting my kid.

How old are they?

Your dd seems very sensible. Best revenge is living well and all that.

Nice to hear a different perspective. But you can't force people to like each other. It could make things worse?

Nothing. Let them sort it. Your Dd is better off with the other girls anyway and sounds like she’s sorting it herself.

We have taught our girls to walk away if someone doesn’t treat you well. You are better off alone than badly accompanied. Rejecting them totally removes their power. You don’t want your Dd being the whipping girl of the group so desperate to hang out with them she will accept anything even if they are mean to her.

Also what’s the mum going to do to fix it? The mums have no power here anymore.

They're 12. First year of secondary.

She's very stoical.

Just hurting for her.

Give it a couple of weeks and see if things settle.

mention it to mum in passing if it’s ongoing after a fortnight

It's actually been building for months. First the girl would ring for DD but out her headphones in and not speak to her. The. She stopped ringing and DD had to try and leave at the right time to catch them.

Reading that back she's just better off moving on isn't she?

I've had similar problems with my DD and her friend group recently. It's been truly awful.

My DD was distraught though, and I decided to speak to a couple of the parents about it.

Basically, it made things worse, and one of the parents accused me of 'messaging parents every time a kid says or does something'. (Completely untrue) I was livid as all I was doing was trying to help my DD.

We have walked away now and DD happier already.

It sounds like this could be a positive thing for dd if the alternative is hanging out with that toxic sounding queen bee tbh. It’s not nice in the immediate term but at least she has other girls to walk with and could be a lucky escape.

Yeah this is what I'm afraid of.

Move on and find another /start another tribe.

Sorry your DD is going though this too. It's so painful seeing your child hurting.

She’s got to tough it out. Our Dd had worse in year 7 a mean new “best friend” turned the whole friendship group against her and this girl spread rumours to prevent other friendships.

Dd walked home alone and sat alone at lunch. Her young English teacher even kept her behind and said she could see what was happening the same happened to her at this age and Dd was to stay strong “you are better than those bitches”. Not pc but it helped!

Dd would not let us go to pastoral. She reached out to other girls and is now the most popular girl in the year. The mean girl is desperate to join dds new gang admitted all the rumours were made up and she did it because she was “bored”. .

As a parent it’s hell. We found listening to Taylor Swift “Mean” and “Best Day” helped hence my user name! Same thing happened to Taylor Swift at 13 too and things worked out pretty well for her!

If my daughter was doing this, I'd hope the parent would tell me about it. 12 uear old girls are awful sometimes! Hope she's OK!

@Rainbowshit

Thanks, yes tbh the past few months have been really hard. But things are really looking up now, I'm glad my DD is away from the toxic group, and she's much happier as a result.

I hope your DD will be ok. It sounds like 'queen bee' in her situation doesn't know how to treat people.

Oh and for gods sake don’t contact the other parents. Bad idea and doesn’t achieve anything anyway except making them think you are a loon. Deal with it behind closed doors.

Don't see it as a negative thing where you're hurting for her but rather a lucky escape. She can get away from this unpleasant girl and start making new friendships with other kids rather being shat on for the next few years. She's dealt with it herself but walking with other people and as she gets more established at secondary school other friendships will flourish even more.

By, not but.

But what could you do, as the parent of a mean girl? Another parent said exactly this to me, and her daughter still continued to be an absolute b*tch.

I think a lot of parents are oblivious to what their kids are really like, but unfortunately nothing the parents do will change it.

Dd has been through similar but it blew over once her other friends realised.

I agree with other posters. Unless your daughter is being physically hurt/assaulted then let it go. This is how your child learns to deal with situations and by getting involved it can make things a lot worse for all concerned.

I'm definitely in the lucky escape crew.

I would support your dd but don't get involved. If one of the parents asked why, I'd tell them.

I'm lucky if I find out the names of my DC's friends, I've never met their parents. High school is very different from primary.