Ds10, in year 6, went out to the park with his mates yesterday (inset day here) and took with him Dh's old iPhone 4, which although it isn't 'his' as such we've set up so that he can use it when he's out and about.
An hour later, ds appeared back at the door distraught because the phone was broken. Dh was quite understanding at first thinking he'd dropped it by accident (I was at work at this point) but it transpires that ds was throwing it around 'to see how tough it was'. Dh then flipped his lid, sent other friends off and tore a strip off ds.
He then had a guilt trip that one of the friends has specifically arranged to meet ds and let ds go back to the park, pending discussion of his punishment later. He clearly told him a time to be back.
Half an hour after this time we had to go and retrieve ds from the park as he hadn't come home. Not really helping his cause!
He's a bright kid but just acts before he thinks. He was super remorseful, very teary and really beating himself up about it - I'm such an idiot, I hate myself etc. We've said that he's grounded from going out with his mates for the rest of the week (half term) and his iPad is confiscated (since he broke dad's phone without a thought.) Of course at the end of all this we told him that we love him and it's the behaviour not him we're angry with, but honestly, every time I think about it I'm seething.
We're really despairing tbh. As soon as he's given a privilege or a little bit of freedom he doesn't seem to be able to cope and does daft things to show off to his friends. I dread what trouble he's going to get himself into at secondary.
Still deciding what to do about the broken phone. Should he pay for it? Or is the punishment enough?
(Sorry, that ended up long.)
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Too harsh or not harsh enough?
4 replies
mamaduckbone · 15/10/2016 09:34
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