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Preparing DD for puberty

4 replies

SplatPancake · 10/03/2016 14:05

DD is 8, one of the youngest in her Year 4 class, small, sprightly, sporty, tomboy, very independent thinker - not all bothered by what everyone else in her class is doing (which seems to be watching make up application on YouTube and harassing their parents for MAC cosmetics. Seriously. At 9!!!)

However, a number of her friends are at the deodorant/developing bodies kind of point (one started at 7), and one of the mums recently said her daughter had started spotting, and was expecting the whole period thing fairly soon.

Now I KNOW this is coming, and I don't want DD to be freaked out or to say something to make her friend feel weird. My mum never really did "the talk" with me, so i was wondering does anyone have any good suggestions for useful books, or threads or anything that could start our non-scary conversation rolling?

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JustDanceAddict · 11/03/2016 15:49

I started talking to DD at 8 (in year 4) about 'the facts of life'. I used a book 'Let's Talk About Where Babies Come From' www.amazon.co.uk/Lets-Talk-About-Where-Babies/dp/1844281736?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 - it's very child-friendly, but sit down and talk it through with her as there is some content I wasn't happy to be talking about with an 8-year-old, plus I kept it in a cupboard out of reach as I didn't want her poring over it when friends came round (not all parents want to tell their children this stuff at 8, believe me).
In the end she didn't start periods til age 13, but she was one of the last of her group, and she was very well prepared with what to expect, etc. She did go through a phase of not wanting to grow up or go through puberty, but once it arrived, she was fine as she could see it was the norm.
Needing deodorant was one of the first signs of puberty, she was about 10 when she started with smelly pits, but didn't really start developing in other ways until at least a year after that.

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SplatPancake · 15/03/2016 14:24

Thank you!

I'll look into that and start preparing!

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Cathpot · 15/03/2016 14:32

What's happening to me? ( girls edition) is also good - although it covers facts of life as well as puberty, not sure if you want that as well?! It's written in a friendly straightforward way and DD1 has really appreciated being able to read it privately and then bring questions to me. I gave it to her at 9 . She is 11 now and a hormonal mess at times- but I am really hoping nothing is too imminent. I was sure that 13 was the general age for periods when I was growing up but several of my friends have said - no I was 11 etc.

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guerre · 15/03/2016 14:36

We have an usborne book (what's happening to me) that we got to go alongside answering their questions. My two have known how babies are made since they were very small, in an age appropriate manner. And we've updated them from time to time as theyve got older. Theyve always seen my tampons in the bathroom cupboard etc, so they've known about things like periods. In v v basic terms at first, obviously.
I had to have a slightly more detailed conversation with DS when he asked me where he gets the spade from to take his seed to an egg!

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