Instagram - what does this mean?

[Rs03]

Our DD (12) is on Instagram. We are a bit wary of her being on social media, so we have her password on the understanding that we could do a random check. She charges her phone downstairs at night (or she wouldn't get any sleep if it stayed in her room!). Last night, a message popped up that I happened to see (it was on charge next to me) and the message didn't look very friendly so I took a look. She knows that I have the password and she is aware that we might check it from time to time. This is the first time I have checked it.

Anyway, we called DD down and asked her about it. DD doesn't seem to see a problem with this message, and thinks the girl that wrote it is a friend. Dh and I think it sounds like this girl is calling her a bitch, but we aren't exactly experts in text speak etc.

What happened is: My Dd tagged this friend on a picture on an account (a comedy account by the looks of it, with a silly picture). My Dd put the "face with tears of joy" emoji. Friend replied with the the same emoji. Then, friend typed (on the image so public to everyone) - "how tf did you find this weird af ac bitch?" Then a face with a straight mouth and closed eyes and a face with tears of joy again... (Including emojis in case they change the context somehow!).

I have managed to translate this to "how the fuck did you find this weird as fuck account, bitch?"

Am I correct in thinking that she is calling my DD a bitch, and what would you do/say if this popped up on your 12 year old's phone? we don't get involved in her friendships, but if she is being bullied online we need to know. I don't know if this is relevant, but I know she posts a lot of pictures on Instagram but she only had 2 posts when I looked last night. I think it is sensible to delete history, but I'm worried that she may be deleting her past posts because of nasty comments. It may be the norm to delete posts, I have no idea!

Thanks for your help!

[Eminado]

I think you have taken the word "bitch" literally.

I think the context here, taking into
Ac emojis etc, is friendly.

So yes friend did call her a bitch. But not in a bullying way. This is pretty standard in teen speak imhe.

How old are you OP.

[balletgirlmum]

I don't think it looks like your ds is being called a bitch but it's difficult without seeing the picture.

Did the friend create a meme (used an editor to type words onto the picture)? So she is projecting the words onto the so called creator of the picture.

[ShelaghTurner]

I'm super active on social media and so I'm the one that keeps an eye on a 13yo family member's Instagram account and this way of talking is pretty standard. I don't particularly like it but it's what it is. You'd be able to tell if it was a nasty message, the tone would be completely different as would the emojis.

[Sparkletastic]

DD (also 12) uses this kind of banter-speak all the time. She won't be happy with your snooping for much longer. Wise up, get your own Insta, see if she will let you follow her.

[Dafspunk]

Chill OP, bitch and slag are terms of endearment between female friends on social media, along with many other traditional insults, which I won't shock you with.

[balletgirlmum]

I check ds (11) & dd (14) instagram & facebook almost daily including private messages & will do until they are 16. They know it's the condition of having it.

[Rs03]

Oh ok. I won't put my age, but I'm probably younger that you think, Eminado, but feel a lot older now. I am glad I am too old to be calling my friends bitches though. I haven't come across this before as she only started secondary school in September. As long as she is happy that is the main thing!

[Rs03]

Balletgirlmum, no, it was just someone else's picture, no words. Nothing to do with either of the girls. Same as you, the spot checks are a condition of her having the smart phone. That won't change for a while.

Thanks everyone. I feel reassured (but also glad I'm not at school now!!)

[Eminado]

OP

My DD is 2.5 so I have all this to come.

[Scarydinosaurs]

The smiley tears emoji is the key thing- she found it funny.

[Rs03]

I have another, a baby!! I really won't have a clue in 10 years time!

It is just such a big change when they move up to secondary school. You know it's coming, but it is another world.

I am really relieved, so thanks for the help.

[SoWhite]

Thats a jokey bitch. The same way my best friend phones me, and I answer 'hey bitchtits'. S'all good!

[Mamamoose1]

I don't think I would be checking my daughters messages, isn't that a bit personal, it shows a lack of trust? You can't check her messages forever, or have control over what she posts and say, surely that's down to her to be responsible for the messages she posts etc?