Shopping ..i need an opinion about whether iabu

[goshhhhhh]

Dd (12) went shopping today with her friend. Gave her money for lunch. She had her pocket money to spend & a £50 voucher for a clothes shop that Dh got via work. It is a treat & a one off. We are not rolling in money by any means. She has given half the voucher to her friend to spend today so all gone. (Apparently according to Dd I said it was her voucher & she could share it - I don't remember this at all.) Am I being mean to be cross that she has given it away or should I think she was being generous. Realise now should have discussed it more before she went but it never occurred to me she would give away £25.

[AnimalsAreMyFriends]

You girl sounds lovely. Sharing her good fortune with a friend, so that they can enjoy the day together - I'm sure it was much more fun for her, with her friend able to join in.

In future, perhaps you need to clarify with dd what you intend the money to be used for & come to an arrangement in advance.

[Justtrying]

I think you dd was extremely generous, I hope her bf reciprocates at some point, nice caring and sharing. However I hope the voucher wasn't earmarked for any thing in particular.

I rarely went shopping with friends as a teenager as I could not match their spending.

Not yet at that stage with dd she is only 3.

[goshhhhhh]

It was earmarked for holiday clothes which she did not buy. Need to chalk it up to experience - interestingly not her bf but a friend non the less. Bit worried she is trying to buy friends - yr 7 - v few people from previous school. Though might be a reaction to other friend who has a very large allowance & rubs peoples noses in it.

[marne2]

I think I would be a little bit angry too but then again 'going shopping with a friend that has no many to spend would be no fun' so I can see why your dd felt the need to share.

[marne2]

Just read that they are year 7, if the child that was given the money to spend was my dd I would be phoning you up and offering to pay the money/voucher back and I would be embarrassed that my dd took the money from your dd ( even though it was a kind thing and it was your daughters choice ).

[goshhhhhh]

As far as I know friend does have money to spend......maybe its me...I wouldn't let mine go if she had no money & I wouldn't expect her friend to subsidize her. Oh well.

[BackforGood]

Well, there's no way I would have given my 12 yr old dd £50 (voucher or cash) to go off and spend on her own. She's not mature enough, so I doubt if other 12 yr olds are likely to be either.

If the voucher was just sort of "spare cash" that you didn't mind what happened to it (you say it was something given to your dh at work) then fair enough, but I don't think you should have given her the responsibility if that sort of money is important to you, or if you needed it spent on something specific.

[goshhhhhh]

Fair enough backforgood. She is very mature but obviously not mature enough. We did talk about it before hand (well I thought we had) lesson learnt. Won't be doing it again. First time she has been on her own. It was essentially a free £50 - but I thought she was more sensible - obviously not. I wouldn't have minded her buying her friend a small gift but not half. As said lesson learned.

[goshhhhhh]

And she has had this kind on money to spend before but I was hanging around in shopping centre though not with them & she was more sensible. Hmmm....Need to talk to her again.

[bringbacksideburns]

I wouldn't have entrusted that amount to her without going with her but it does sound like you have raised a lovely girl.

Surprised that the other child's parents haven't picked up on the amount that's been spent on their daughter and questioned that this is alright though because i would.