11yr old earning money...

(8 Posts)
daisychicken Fri 09-Aug-13 16:45:20

I have a 11 yr old ds, he's starting secondary in September, he constantly asks for money for swimming, sweets etc etc. When he was 10, DH gave him a job sorting receipts into date order to earn a little cash - was a once a month thing and took about 30 minutes. After 3 months, he whinged and whinged and stopped doing the job (ds2 now does it quite happily, he's 8!).

3-4 months ago, SIL offered ds1 a job mowing their lawn every 2 weeks, he gets paid £10 - a good wage for a 30 min job! But now ds1 is whining and moaning that he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't need the money etc... I have reminded him that this money pays for him to go swimming with his friends or buy sweets or McDonald's etc or he could save it but no, he's adamant that he doesn't need this money... I have said that I won't be giving him the money so how would be pay for these things? I got moaned at...

WWYD?? Do I just say 'tough, you have to do it' or let DH (& maybe ds2 at nearly 9) do it and let ds1 discover that he won't be able to go swimming etc etc? I don't know what the best option is, ds1 is lazy when it comes to doing anything that requires effort but I don't want him growing up thinking money will be handed to him - it won't! We can't afford pocket money so a job is what he will have to do and if he gives this job up, he won't get it back (an extra £20 a month will be handy for DH & I!)

Help!

daisychicken Fri 09-Aug-13 17:16:00

Quick bump for advice please! smile

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Fri 09-Aug-13 17:25:58

I would tell him tough, and get on with it. smile

daisychicken Fri 09-Aug-13 18:14:33

Probably the only way isn't it?

He knows about budgeting & saving for things etc but just can't be bothered. I can't work out why though! Ds2 is completely different - he always wants to earn money, he's saved for a ds & for an iPod etc & he's always achieved what he wants to save for. Ds1 will say 'I want x' so we say exactly the same to him as we do ds2 re saving birthday money, doing jobs etc but he never sticks to it & would rather spend (waste) money on sweets or pester us for said item (depending on what, we say he has to wait till birthday/Christmas or no we can't afford it.. so it's not handed to him!

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Fri 09-Aug-13 18:52:06

I would stick at it with him, if he says he doesn't need the money I would say "ok I will put it in the bank for you"but don't back down. We have a family business and our boys have always had to work. It's a great life lesson. Work=reward. Good luck.

Takver Sun 11-Aug-13 18:45:39

I've been thinking about this one, and I think I disagree with other posters. I'm not sure if you make him keep at it that it will teach him anything.

Personally (and especially since your DH is happy to do the job & would find the money useful) I would let him drop it and your DH take over but only so long as you are confident that you can hold out and not give him the 'missing' money. I'd tell him though that he has the option to take the job back in future if he wishes.

At that point when he notices he can't do things like going swimming etc, he has a genuine choice - either don't do the work and don't enjoy the rewards of it, or restart the job but with it being his decision.

I think that you have to accept that it is a valid choice for him to decide that actually he'd rather not do the work & not have the money to spend.

daisychicken Sun 11-Aug-13 19:58:31

That's a good point Takver... I think if he moans next time then we'll do that.

As it was, we insisted he did the job & I've had the money (he thinks I've banked it already) and what do you know.. the next day he asked for money... I did hold out and said I'd banked it already. I don't think it will actually kick in about the money until the hols are over and his swim pass has finished..

Thanks everyone x

grants1000 Sun 18-Aug-13 12:32:02

Yes tough shit till he cracks on with it! I have an 11yo DS who wanted to earn cash, so we started with takingout the bins, loading/emtying the dishwasher, he's said 'it's boring' and I said 'yes, but crack on for the £ darling' and he does!

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