Son hates nursery

[BaggieBetty]

help! My son started nursery, did two days and liked it. Then he came down with a chest infection and had a week off. Now he is refusing to go, gets hysterical. Even had nightmares and wakes up crying "No nursery!" I'm not pushing it! The thing is hubby thinks I should be more forceful and make him go - He'll be alright when he gets there. However we move house in six weeks time so he'll start new nursery there so is it worth the hassle now? Also on his first day I arrived to find him asleep boiling hot in his coat on a cushion on the floor, the second day with a pooey bum not noticed and now I asked for a member of staff to ring and discuss this....and I got a call from the school secretary! Her advice was basically don't tell him where you're going then run off - he'll be OK.Help!

[saadia]

How old is he? If he has to change nursery anyway in six weeks I would not send him to this one - don't like the fact that he was boiling hot and no-one cleaned him. Can you keep him home?

[BaggieBetty]

Yes I am at home with his brother so wouldn't be a prob. I'm just worried I'm being over anxious.

[BaggieBetty]

He was 3 in July.

[pinkranger]

if you are moving and he is going o start a new nursery i would leave him at home , my DS started 3 months after he was 3 and cried and screamed every morning for about 4 weeks, when he did calm down he wouldn't go into the classroom and stayed where they hanged they coats , would only join in when it was nearly finished! I used to leave him shouting and screaming and it broke my heart but worked for him and he now loves nursery and has settled well.

I wouldn't have liked it if he they had left him Dirty

Hopefully he will be fine at his new one !!

Good Luck

[BettyBatShapedSpaghetti]

Hello from one Betty to another!

My son is 2.4, so a bit younger than yours. However he started going to nursery for 2 mornings a week about 3/4 weeks ago -today was the first morning he hasn't cried when I dropped him off so it does get better .

However as you're moving in a few weeks I'd forget the current nursery and start afresh after the move.

Also I think the advice you were given to "not say you're going and to run" is wrong. At DS's nursery they said to make your goodbyes brief (ie. don't draw it out) but to be clear that you will be back to pick them up, say goodbye with a hug and kiss and go.

HTH

[pinkranger]

total agre with betty, kiss cudles be back at .... and go ,

[fondant4000]

Don't bother, start afresh.

I did short times over 4 weeks to start - an hour, 90 mins, till going all morning. (dd was 2 years old)

Also stayed for whole session, then for first 15 minutes. It was a very gentle lead-in, but it is a Montessori where they encourage this!

If you can't stay, then maybe starting with short hours might be an option?

The thing that really did for my dd was having 'a friend' at school. I took some days off and arranged a few home playdates with a girl in the class I knew she liked (and her mother). After just 2 playdates they were both much, much more settled at school and are still 'best friends' a year later. They go in holding hands - aww

[TwigTwoolett]

well normally I'd agree with DH but if you're moving in 6 weeks what's the point?

let him stay with you .. .and build up new house and nursery

is this state or private nursery?

[BaggieBetty]

Thanksfor all the advice. Went yesterday and I stopped for an hour. Then he went off outside to play while I chatted with his teacher. I looked out the window to see him sat in a little car sobbing his heart out....when I went out he said " Oh mummy. I missed Fred" (his baby brother) They know just what to say to get you going don't they?! Sob.The nursery staff were really lovely about it so I judged them a bit harshly! Will see how it goes but not going to bust a gut. What's the point of a load of upset to have it all again at a new nursery as some of you have said. Thanks ladies xx