I started the abortion process and I regret it. Can a fetus survive mifepristone??

[Kiki92]

I appreciate the absurdity of asking for kindness on the internet, but please be considerate and try not to judge me too harshly for what I'm about to say. I'm struggling.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I became redundant last year due to Covid, so I've been living off of my savings. Not ideal, but manageable as a interim as I'm now back at university doing a business degree. Regardless when I found myself pregnant a couple of weeks ago I was happy, (I already have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship and the thought of expanding my family really made me happy). The revelation caused my partner to instantly leave me, however. He virtually vanished into a puff of smoke. I've not heard from him since.

Since then I've been weighing up the pros and cons, and decided that abortion was my only reasonable option. It seemed like the rational choice. I would struggle to afford another child on my own, and doing it all on my own again seems pretty overwhelming. Not only that, but my family would be very unsupportive of me being a single mum to 2 children with 2 fathers. (Not an issue in my eyes, but I can imagine their comments).

So, I collected my pills on Tuesday. I was putting off the process. I talked myself into starting it yesterday. I took the first pill (the mifepristone), and I instantly broke down and realised it was a mistake. I tried to make myself sick, but I couldn't. The regret was instant and overwhelming. My initial qualms and panics seem futile.

I spoke to a 111 gyno last night who told me not to take the second batch and to hope that the first pill doesn't work. He said there's hope and I'm praying for a miracle. All I can do is sit and wait. I feel so bloody stupid, and I'm not asking for sympathy for obvious reasons.

Has anyone else been here though????

Oh lovely I’m so sorry you’re going through this emotional rollercoaster on your own. I have no experience with the pill side of things but please don’t feel alone, come on here and speak to us if you need us, we’ll be here x

You might be okay - the drug you have taken softens the cervix and encourages the uterus to contract. However, taken on its own, without taking misoprostol 2 days later, it may not have any effect at all. I guess that's what the 111 doctor told you.

Be kind to yourself, you're in an unpleasant situation with no support. See how things go over the next day or so and get a GP appointment as soon as you can tomorrow.

Ah I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I think that's why I went for a surgical...no time for second thoughts during the process.

From what I understand the first pill stops the pregnancy by overriding the hormones, and the second causes you to expel the pregnancy. I don't know what would happen if you only took the first pill - I'm sure you can call the clinic and they'll advise?

Good luck and hope you're ok xx

The first pill stops the pregnancy, but I suppose it might not always work. I think it might better if you called your termination provider, they might be better equipped to answer your questions than 111. They must have given you a number to call to talk to a nurse?

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

The first pill stops the pregnancy, but I suppose it might not always work. I think it might better if you called your termination provider, they might be better equipped to answer your questions than 111. They must have given you a number to call to talk to a nurse?

I don’t think it always does. It loosens sac to make the second pill more likely to work. The second pill terminates the pregnancy.

It would be best to call the number they've given the OP. They are in the best position to advise.

I'll have to wait until tomorrow to contact the NHS service I went to. They're only 9-5, Monday-Friday. :(
I'm struggling to hold it all together.

Sorry you're going through this, OP. I'm hoping for the best for you.

Wishing for the best for you. Hope you’ve got someone to give you a big hug. Xx

No advice but just sending you support . You're obviously just trying very hard to do the right thing in a very difficult situation.

I've been in a similar position myself and I hope you're ok OP. Really hoping for the best for you. X

No advice but just sending you a handhold take care x

Sending a handhold and wishing you well.

Op if you want to keep the pregnancy you urgently need progesterone treatment. Less than 25% chance the fetus will survive without it.

How do I receive progesterone treatment? Where do I go? Will my termination provider be able to signpost me? I'm so scared.

This sounds like your head thought termination was best, but when it came to it, your heart intervened. I’d say this wasn’t practical but in actual fact I’ve always found that my “heart” decisions work out much much better than my “head” ones, so I’m wishing you all the luck in the world.

Sorry you're going through this. I'd be wary of taking advice from people online. It is horrible though that you have to wait and can't speak to someone right away. Wishing you some luck in this

I’m so sorry for you and wish you the best but I think you need to be prepared that the pregnancy is unlikely to survive mifepristone. It encourages the womb lining to breakdown meaning the embryo becomes detached. That’s what i was told anyway.

I'm really taken aback at all these posts. OP, I'm really sorry for the situation you find yourself in. It must be really difficult.

However, tho well-meaning, the advice given here and that if the 111 contact (a gynaecologist? Are you sure?) to hope for the best, seems really poor.

Sadly, having made the decision to terminate the safest course of action is to continue. If you decide not to, we can only speculate. I cannot imagine the foetus can survive now. I would imagine (I'm not a medical professional) that without the second tablets, in time, the foetus will be expelled anyway, though I feel that may pose other risks, including infection to you.

I really mean this gently, but you made the decision and the correct & safe thing to do is follow the guidelines you were give.

Wishing the OP good luck for the pregnancy to survive is really misguided.

I do wish you luck in the future. Please consider your own health here now.

Sending a big hug x

I am so sorry. I don't believe the pregnancy has much chance but Call your doctor or the place managing your abortion tomorrow as soon as you can. They will be able to advise you on your next steps no matter what the outcome will be.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself too.

Checking here (an Irish link, but explains what happens once the first tablet is taken) it seems clear the pregnancy cannot continue beyond this point.

www2.hse.ie/conditions/abortion/abortion-methods/medical-abortion.html

The relevant text:

You first take a medication called mifepristone. Mifepristone comes as a tablet.
The tablet stops the hormone that allows the pregnancy to continue. The lining of the uterus breaks down and the pregnancy can't continue.

I hope things work out OP, have you looked at 24hr helplines?

There are some on here: www.supportline.org.uk/problems/abortion/

They may be able to help you navigate what's happening and should have specialist support on hand to guide you.

OP I have no knowledge or experience to share but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. Whatever happens, please don’t blame yourself. You have been making the best decisions you can in the most difficult of circumstances and your actions are completely understandable and valid. I have everything crossed for you ❤️❤️.