I know it is the right choice for us but it is tearing me apart

[InglouriousBasterd]

Hi

I am 4 weeks pregnant. My situation is so difficult. My DP and I have been together for a year and this was vey unexpected. I was initially very happy when the news sank in but after discussion with my DP we have realised that this just can't go forward. It's a very long story and I don't feel I can go into details but we are hoping that in a year we can move back to my home country, marry and be happy. Babies are definitely on the cards for then - but right now is the worst possible timing.

I have come to terms with this and I feel that this is probably the best decision for our future - but it's killing me. I can hardly get out of bed in the morning, I can't sleep at night and I can't eat. He cries when he hears me cry and feels he had let me down. I can feel everything stretching and can smell everything, the hormones are making me crazy. I should be seen by Marie stopes next week - but I'm so scared.

Please understand that this is the right thing for us at this time, but right now I feel like I am falling apart. I am so scared to go next week, even though he will be with me; I am so scared that this will completely break me.

Please can anyone offer some advice on how to cope? The hurt and pain I feel right now is skewing everything. How do I make it through? Please some advice on the best way to get through this will be so appreciated.

[InglouriousBasterd]

And please - this really is such bad timing in our lives that we have made this decision together. I know I sound very unhappy with it and I am, because I wish to god things were different. I just need advice and help on how to get through this time without destroying myself.

[Primaryteach87]

Sending . This sounds very hard. Especially as it sounds like it is a wanted pregnancy with a good partner but not at the right time. I had a scare in my teens and my bf is now my husband, so can relate to the feeling of wishing you could put on the pregnancy on hold and restart it at another time. You sound sure of your decision but obviously you can change your mind right up to the last minute. Be kind to yourself. Lots of chocolate.

[InglouriousBasterd]

Thank you primary

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow hopefully- if I can get an appointment!- and hope they can do something

ANYTHING

To help me. It doesn't help that right now I am alone most of the time and all I can do is think and think with no one to just be there.

[SleepForTheWeak]

Didn't want to read and run.

Hopefully you'll get an appointment today, sorry you're going through this, it sounds so difficult but trust yourself you are making the right decision

[InglouriousBasterd]

Thank you sleep

Unfortunately no appointment but feeling ok ish so far today. I have my telephone consultation with Marie stopes this evening so hope they can give me an appointment to just get this done, stop prolonging the pain.