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horrible midwife

10 replies

LouM10 · 30/06/2010 15:34

Hi. I am 27 weeks pregnant and my first 2 midwife appointments, my midwifes father had died so she was on leave, and I saw a different midwife who is not based at my doctors surgery. She was really lovely and i got on really well with her.

However, I met my midwife for the 1st time last week, and I find her pushy, rude, and I really don't like her. She is the only midwife at my GP's so I can't ask for another one.

The hospital i am giving birth at, is about 45 mins away, so i don't want to see a midwife there unless necessary, but there is another hospital about 10 mins away from where I live, and I'm unsure if I can see one from there as I'm not giving birth there. Any ideas on what I can do will be gratly appreciated

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malteser1981 · 30/06/2010 16:07

Why not tell how she made you feel? She might be mortified that her manner made you feel like that. You could also raise the issue with the practice manager, as if she is generally rude to clients this needs to be addressed.
As for antenatal care provision, what about changing GP? Most practices have a different community midwife affiliated with them, changing the hospital you deliver at will not change the midwife you see antenatally and most hospitals will not provide routine antenatal care.

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Cyrli · 30/06/2010 16:45

She might be a part of a community midwife team - you might be able to see one at another surgery or at home. This is what happened to me (I asked to change because of language issues).

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SeoMum · 30/06/2010 16:51

I was given a number to call by my midwife if I had any problems with her or the treatment I was recieving from any other midwife, did you not get anything like that?

Find out if she is part of a community team like Cyrli says and maybe speak to your doctor? You shouldn't have to move GP because of one person and they should have some sort of set up for personality clashes you need to feel comfortable in your care if it causes you distress you need to speak to someone you may not be the only person she has treated like this, or she may ust have had a bad day after her father died and isn't ready to be back at work.

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HarderToKidnap · 30/06/2010 17:38

Call the hospital you are delivering at's maternity unit. Get put through to the community midwifery manager. Voice your concerns and see what she says. This is very common!

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Fuchzia · 30/06/2010 17:49

I didn't get on with my midwife so I went to my (lovely) GP for anti-natal check ups instead prehaps you could do that?

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nymphadora · 30/06/2010 18:25

I complained about mine & am now seen at the hospital 30 mins away. If there are no probs then you don't get that many appts but I go fortnightly since 18 weeks so it's a bit of z pain really but had no other option

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LouM10 · 30/06/2010 18:41

Thank you all!! I'll try ringing the community midwives, and if that doesn't work, I'll get in touch with the hospital. Glad to know I'm not the only one

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conkerchops · 30/06/2010 21:33

i had a lovely lovely midwife when i was pregnant for dd - she did most of my appointments at home and listened to my first time mum stresess for hours!
the she moved to jersey and by the time i was pregnant with ds 2 years later there was another midwife at the practise. she was horrible - the first time i met her she essentially rubbished my hopes to have a vbac and told me to stay away fromm my hippy friends in the nct! thinking she was having a bad day we gave her another go only to this time have her be very rude and insensitive about the fact that i had onoly just had a miscarriage a month before this pregnancy!....i told her to her face i was going to complain at which point she tried to hug me and i poushed her away.
i got straight on the phone in floods of tears to the supervisor of midwives who was furious and allocated me another midwife from the cvommunity team who did all my appointments from that pioint onwards at home and was so lovely!
basically if you are not happy you need to say something - i have since found that other friends have had bad previously with this lady and am so glad i said something and got the change to my lovely midwife!

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LouM10 · 30/06/2010 22:38

I mentioned to my sister yesterday about her, and she said she had the same midwife, but with her being diabetic, she had a 2nd midwife at the hospital. She ended up changing fulltime to her diabetic midwife as she said if she had stuck with her, she wouldn't have even let her in the house lol

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LouM10 · 02/07/2010 15:12

Hi everyone. I rang the 1st midwife I had seen, and she said I could change my GP's which I din't want to do as it is on my doorstep, or just go to the drop in clinic for check-ups on the days I know she is working at GP's. Feel so much better I have that sorted and thanks for your help