Hopping mad

[Klara]

I am about to explode! Was just asking a male colleague when another of my colleagues was due back from her maternity leave, andhis response was that while he didn't know it must be soon as she's been off for nearly a year now. He followed that by saying, "personally I think it's bloody ridiculous that you can take a year off". WTF?? you'd think it was a sodding paid holiday the way he was talking about it.

even more scary, this is a supposedly enlightened buy in his late 20's - not some old bufty. I did point out that he should be grateful as at least this way there will be children born, who will grow up and go on to pay taxes and pay to look after him when he was an old fart - but jeeez.....what an attitude. He was complaining about the fact that we had to keep her job open for her and that she had to be given back her clients when she came back.....

*rse.....

Sorry - just had to vent. But I really thought we were past these kind of prehistoric idiotic arguments.

klara

[chloe55]

We will never be passed these types of comments when the world is full of people who are arrogant sh*ts! My work have been generally ok about me preparing for maternity (I work for a small firm) but my boss keeps asking how much time I am planning to take off - it really annoys me and my answer is - I don't know, I guess it depends on when the baby is born, how healthy it is, what type of birth I have, how I am coping, etc etc, Jeez do people not understand that we are all oblivious to the possibilities!

Sorry - that's my rant too!

[Klara]

Chloe - apparently it is actually illegal for him to ask you when you are planning to come back - it's putting pressure on you and he is not allowed to do so. Tell him that!

[chloe55]

I'll remember that - thanks Klara!

[Mum2girls]

The man's a dinosaur.

[dyzzidi]

My boss actually sadi to me I can't believe you are taking six months off how selfish is that.

I replied Oh I'm sorry has the seven months notice I am giving you not quite enough time to make arrangements maybe we should speak to the union to arrange further help.

that shut him up the idiot.

[triceratops]

My old boss is just going through the motions of sacking a colleague who is on 6 month adoption leave as she has not been in the office often enough during her leave. He says that because it is adoption (two kids under 2) she does not have the same excuse as a new mum with hormones and sleepless nights. People in the office are largely supportive of his view as they resent her for voluntarialy adopting children after being in the job for only six months.

It is no wonder women in this country put off having children. You have to give up your career.

[RedZuleika]

I thought that you had certain legal rights when adopting too...??

[triceratops]

He is very good at sacking people (lots of practice) and makes sure that he always keeps a stack of evidence so he can do the verbal warning, written warning thing whenever he feels like it. She is bound to have used the internet for personal things or something.

[RedZuleika]

I could be completely misguided here, but I thought that you were granted leave on adoption, similar to maternity leave. Which, if it is the case, is surely enshrined in such a way as to make it difficult to sack you when you're on it...?? I only thought this because of the leave arrangements made for one of my university tutors when she adopted.

How could people object that she adopted when she'd only been there six months, as well?? Presumably she'd initiated adoption proceedings months or years before - and the timing was just unfortunate for her employers.

I hate employers like that. I used to work for one.

[goldenoldie]

There are lots of (usually single people) with this attitude. I overheard a conversation recently between two female accountants in their 20's bitching about a colleague with children always being allowed to book school holidays off.

They clearly thought having a family was some sort of con to get preferential treatment at work!

[chloe55]

One of my colleagues is off this week because her child is poorly. Another female colleague (with children I might add) keeps commenting that she could 'at least say it was her that was ill instead of her child, why hasn't she got someone else to look after her?' It just made me mad, I thought firstly why should she lie about who is ill and secondly what makes this woman think that she has got anyone else to look after HER child?

[triceratops]

Yes - adoption leave is the same as maternity leave, you have the same rights. I was made redundant by the same man while I was on maternity leave so I know just how she is going to feel. I hate it that employers are so family unfriendly.

I am sure that I never minded colleagues looking after their family before I was a mum. Why on earth would you want to go on holiday outside termtime if you didn't have kids? Think of the cost! Being a parent is much more important than any job I can think of.

[RedZuleika]

So - (bear with me here) - how can he be sacking her for being in the office insufficiently often when she's on adoption leave...?? You're surely not expected to come into the office - because that's what being on leave means, right??

[triceratops]

He is not a reasonable person Red, he expected her to come in at least once a week to review her projects. Because the children she has adopted are three months and 18 months he thinks she should be able to leave them at nursery for one day a week and come in to work.

I think that she imagined that she would be less tied down than she is (don't we all before we have children?). So she didn't spell it out to him that she would see him in six months.