need help making friends

[tiggz]

Hi all, im 8days overdue now! i moved away from my family with my partner almost 2years ago and i still havnt managed to make any friends! I see my family as much as possible which isnt alot and i keep intouch on the phone, but would love to make some friends close by. my DP is very supportive and is my best friend so i am lucky in that sense but it would still be nice to have some girly friends! If anyone had any suggestion on how to make some please, im all ears.

[dappymoo]

Hi tiggz!
I'm betting that once your little one is out and you start going to mother and baby things you'll get to know loads of other mums!

Also, are there any clubs you can join (maybe not for a little while, but once things are settled?) xx

[tiggz]

thanku. Im not sure if theres anoy close enough i will have to look some up as i think thats my only hope lol. just hard cuz everyone seems to have there friends so arnt interested in new ones! anoying lol x

[emsyj]

I think the thing about making friends is that you've got to be the one to make the first move, which can be really really hard if you are on your own and everyone else seems to know someone (or everyone!) already. You have to be willing to put yourself forward and be the first to say hello and introduce yourself. If you do, you might be surprised that some of the little 'groups' that you think are such firm friends are actually just bunches of other people like you, clinging to familiarish faces. The best thing you can do is decide you're going to go to X number of things per week (let's say 3 different baby activities) and at each one, you're going to introduce yourself to 3 new people. It will be hard, but be assured that most people will respond positively if you make the first approach and don't worry that not everyone you meet is going to be someone that you want to stay in touch with. Think of it as needing to meet more people, then the people that you 'click' with will naturally become friends.

[tiggz]

Thankyou for the advice i will certainly try it!

[Hevster]

I was in the same boat as you when I had my first baby until I got invited to a post natal group run by the local health visitor where I met the 4 best friends a girl could have. Hang in there as there will be other local people in the same situation who you will have an instant bond with due to having a little one the same age.

[tiggz]

Thanku its encouring to hear other people in the same situation!

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

Dare I say it but I've had a lot of success meeting people through the meet a mum part of netmums.

[Loooopy]

Hi Tiggz, i know exactly what you mean. I moved away from my family for work (not by choice) but it gets worse as my DP was living elsewhere (also nowhere near his family) and so he has moved to be with me, which has meant he is now not near family or near his friends, and we are stuck in an area where neither of us have many friends other than each other and i now don't work for the place that i was moved here for, and now work for somewhere near my family but WFH most of the time. Trying to move so that we are by my family so our bump grows up with its cousins and so that we are a bit closer in distance to his family, but it doesn't solve the friends issue as most of the people i used to hang around with aren't there anymore. And being a bit shy, i've never found it easy making new friends.

Where do you live Tiggz? Are you going to stay living there or any plans to move back to where you came from?

[tiggz]

blameitontheboogey i tried that but again no-one seems bothered

looooopy hi im not glad you feel how i do but im glad im not alone if you get what i mean lol. We plan on staying here, not going to move back. Im not very good at making new friends either. i live in the west midlands part of the uk. where do you live? is it just me but even tho u have your partner wouldnt it be nice to have sum girly friends? and can it get lonely for you 2? xx

[RaraAvis]

hi, i know how you feel, even though i havn't moved very far! i'm only down the road really so can't blame the move. i dont drive and everyone i know seems to have moved so just feel isolated. i've started coming on here a lot but every time i post it seems like a deadend without many responses, i feel a social leper tbh. i've heard you make a lot of friends once the baby is born but if your not very good at making friends anyway what chance do you have? sorry i'm just feeling really lonely tonight, sometimes it seems like everywhere you go its just cliques and your always on the outside. anyway i'm probably hormonal so excuse me, i remember from another thread your overdue? hows things?

[RaraAvis]

sorry you wrote on this thread too your overdue! hope the baby comes soon

[tiggz]

raraavis aww i know how you feel it can get very lonely and thats how i feel. and i get the same with these threds! and some woman on here can be quite mean as im finding out on my very popular thread in child birth, it makes you feel quite sad u come on here for help and support and to make friends and you just get called a stroppy teenager!!
yh im ok thanx, still here tho lol. how are you? how far gone are you now? xx

[RaraAvis]

i'm 31+1, but i'm supposed to give birth early because of too much fluid except i havn't heard anything and so feel a bit of a mess plus i seem to have taken being hormonal to new heights and my poor dh hides from me a lot of late! so please excuse any rambly, self-pitying posts you might see by me in the coming weeks
bet you don't have much sympathy for an early labour when your +8! but you never know, my mum was induced with all of us so might go that way. have you been trying everything? curries etc? i heard about pineapple the other day but you probably already know that.

[tiggz]

aww well i hope yout labor goes ok, how early u expected to have baby? yes i think iv tried every method possible!
currys
pineapple
sex
walking
climbing stairs
nipple stimulation
3x sweeps and much more and still nufin rgghhh lol, and dont get induced til im 13days over! its nice to have sum1 nice to chat 2. iv had a bit of a panik as only found out yesterday, dp wouldnt be able to stay in postnatal ward with me unless baby was born in visiting hours...not likely lol.

[designerjooles]

Tiggz - try your local community centre or library too. There are usually coffee mornings on or things to do with baby - and i am sure you find yourself chatting to other mums in no time

PS: don't worry about some of those ol battleaxes on mumsnet too - remember that it's very easy to misconstrue comments (from both sides) on forums.

[tiggz]

designerjooles ha ha, thankyou. Im not too sure where our local one is but i could look into it, i just need to stop being so shy, im fine chatting on the internet but when it comes to face to face im rubbish. Im only ever comfortable with my family and dp, for some reason infront of others i feel awful, im sure once i get settled into some sort of group il be ok though.