Mum again at 47 and scared at all the risks!!

[Trekkiemaiden]

Hi all from a newbie. I'm 47 and will be 48 when our baby is born IF all goes well. I am thrilled at finding myself expecting again,my youngest is now 10, but there are so many risks at this age I am finding it very hard to relax. Because I may have to face the decision to terminate I still haven't told anyone, no-one knows about the pregnancy only the father of course. But I am so scared. Baby is at 10 weeks, we saw him/her at the a scan last week, kicking and full of life. 2 fibroids were detected too but I am not going to worry about those. Am booked to have a nuchal scan in the next 2 weeks but I don't know how I'm going to cope if the news is bad. An Amnio is going to give the true situation one way or another soooo late, around 18 weeks I think which is so late to go through a termination. I'm at a risk of 1 in 20 for Down's plus all the other age related disorders. I can't sleep and am having nightmares. I know I can't bring a disabled baby into the family. Sorry to be such a downer but I suppose because I have bottled this up it is worse.

[MmeBlueberry]

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

[randomimposter]

Can totally understand your concerns, but worrying won't diminish them. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and great news on a positive early scan.

A close friend gave birth last summer at nearly 44 with a fairly massive fibroid also to contend with. All went fine.

You may already be aware of this but a CVS could be done earlier than an amnio if you had concerns about the possibility of a later termination.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[mitfordsisters]

Congratulations! Have a look at Luisa Dillner's column in the Family section of the Guardian - you can probably find them online - she has just become a mum again at 48.

[MammyG]

Hiya - congratulations on your pregnancy. Think you will worry anyway!! All part of it. If it wasnt your age it would be something else. My mum had my brother at 47. Its no walk in the park in terms of effect of pregnancy and recovery for you but he was perfect and is now a 6ft teenager! We all loved having a late baby and he has been spoiled with loads of attention in so many ways - going on hols with his older siblings etc. AT the time my mom was expecting 3 other women in our town ages 44- 47 were all expecting. All babies were healthy. Just take each day as it comes. best of luck.

[hester]

Oh, Trekkiemaiden, give yourself a cuddle and breeeaaathhhe! First of all, many congratulations. I had my dd late in life and am really sympathetic to how anxious you feel, and that first half of pregnancy is so hell to get through. But you really must take one day at a time and it does seem premature to be tormenting yourself about how you would cope with a termination. You say you are keeping this bottled up - is there anyone in RL who can give you better emotional support in getting through the next few weeks? Your partner? Otherwise, you will get great support here. Why not keep this thread going with daily updates, and we can be there with you every step of the way - I will, anyway

[minouminou]

Hey - congrats!
Just talk anytime on here - I'm 39 next month, but I'm not ready to hang up my ovaries just yet, and will be following your progress with interest.
We're all here anytime you want to share anything, so here's hoping all's well - I'm sure it will be.
Hope to hear some good news soon.

[LooL00]

Congratulations Trekkie! I'm only 43 years old and 23 weks pg and those early weeks were awful. I didn't have the nuchal scan, even though I had it for ds(5) and dd(3) as I decided I wouldn't do anything about it if it was a high probability of downs and knowing that at my age the result was very unlikely to be reassuring. I had dd when I was 39.75 and no one mentioned my age. Over 40 and it's full scale anxiety: I had to go to see the obst at 16 weeks, he said they don't like mothers over 40 to go over 40weeks and said the 'I' word and I've been panicing about induction ever since.I've calmed down a lot since I no longer have to make decisions about the scans. I'm not sure about reading Luisa Dilna, maybe bacause I was reading it before she gave birth to a baby girl but maybe if you know that, it makes less anxious reading.

[colie]

i am 39 and am also a little worried about the age thing. I am now 25 weeks pregnant.

Congratulations. I worry about every little thing so know it is easier said than done, but try not to worry.

[MumNWLondon]

Congratulations - try not to worry.

BTW you can have a CVS at 12 weeks, ie after the nuchal scan (which you can have from 11 weeks), and an amnio from 16... and although I hope it doesn't come to this, current UK rules are that you can terminate at any point for a disability (although I can see the later the harder).

[Poppypuppy]

My mum's friend's daughter has just had one at 47 with no problems. My cousin's dad's mum had him at 49. The odds are in your favour, not against you. Good luck, hope it all goes really well. You sound like a very thoughtful and well-informed mum. Lucky baby. x

[fallon8]

Look, all you will have heard are the downsides to this.i know that this wont help,but you had one child at the age of 38,successfully,which is "old".Wishing you well. Try not to read/look at too much info.

[FabIsDoingPrettyWell]

What Riven said.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, were you tcc?

[belgo]

Why do you feel you cannot have the baby if the baby has Down's syndrome or another problem?

[fifitot]

I'm pregnant and am 46 so join the club! Literally.

Congratulations too!

[fifitot]

BTW there is a topic in talk on ante-natal testing and choices so if you want in depth advice from women who have been through various forms of testing then that's the place to go. I found it really helpful.

[shangrila]

Hi Trekkie

I second what everyone has said about CVS. Yes, it's a big test but it will give you an earlier answer to the questions that are important to you. I've had three and on each occasion was glad I did.

Recently, I was in a very similar position. Mid forties, pregnant and without good odds for a successful outcome, because of a terrible obstetric history. I took the plunge, had a CVS and it thankfully came back clear. We held our breath at every scan, knowing that there are no guarantees at all with any of this but hoping for the very best. It was a tense time but then, I know that the majority of pregnancies bring their own stresses and strains for every woman.

To my amazement, all went well and my son in now a month old. With regard to your concerns, I would say that looking back, once we had a clear karyotype, the age issue simply disappeared. No one
mentioned it from that day onwards, to the extent where I felt drawn to bringing it up, just in case it was important but overlooked. It wasn't. I was eventually classed as a low risk pregnancy and allowed to deliver in a midwifery led unit.

For all sorts of reasons, it wasn't an easy pregnancy. But age most certainly wasn't a contributory factor in this. Hold on tight and the very best of luck. And keep in touch if it helps.

[fifitot]

You don't have to have the tests either remember. It is your choice. They bring their own risks.