Too small for dates - is there any hope?

[stillfrazzled]

Should be 8wks tomorrow. Had a couple of episodes of bleeding, was scanned ten days ago and they said too small to see anything so to come back today.

Did. Still too small - CRL 4mm when should be 6mm, and no heartbeat visible although they did see a yolk sac and brain so bigger than last scan.

Nurse said is not looking good.

I am wondering if it is at all possible I conceived later?

This was first cycle after a v early mc on New Year's Day. I didn't get BFP till CD31 on Jan 31 (normal cycle 28 days) and then it was a First Response - CB Digi was neg and three days later, CD34, gave me 1-2 wks since conception.

Or should I just give up and accept that I am having my second mc of 2010?

Nurse told me, BTW, that the first one didn't count cos it wasn't confirmed by scan and that really I should throw away the early pregnancy tests. Felt a little patronised.

I AM SO ANGRY and I don't know how to get through the next ten days.

[stillfrazzled]

Yes, in ten days.

[stillfrazzled]

Really? I'd love to think so but torn between hoping for the best and trying to prepare for the worst.

This is such a lonely feeling. Haven't told my mum yet because had been hoping to wait till 12 weeks and give her some good news and DH, although enormously supportive and usually v in tune with how I'm feeling, just doesn't get this.

He is very happy with DS - would like another child but would be the icing on the cake. Has already said that he doesn't know if he wants to put us through this very many more times, or maybe even again.

And when I cried that it wasn't fair (and I know life isn't, was still adjusting to the news I think) he said that it was, because we had DS. I know this is probably a right and healthy way to see it, but I'm not feeling it right now.

TBH am so angry and frustrated, I just want to smash things and scream.

[sunshiney]

Hi, I've no advice for you, wish I did, but just wanted to say I'm hoping for the best for you. I've had both a mc and a termination (that I did not want) and apart from the grief the sheer disappointment is hard to handle. You imagine a future that you then may not have, it makes you angry. as I say I have fingers crossed for you.

[stillfrazzled]

Thank you both.

I should just give up hope, shouldn't I? If I try to think positive it's going to be worse in ten days' time.

[bellabelly]

Still frazzled, I don't want to give false hope but I'd have thought if this cycle was immediately following a mc, then you could well have ovulated a little later than usual. Hope things work out ok for you, must be really hard not knowing what's going on.

[Daynee]

Hi frazzled - I wish I knew what to tell you but I, myself, am going through the same thing, and have had 4 mc's. You can't help but hope with each and every one, even though signs are all pointing to doom and gloom and utter demise...

One day, I'm happy, the next I'm a nervous wreck and I want to crawl in a hole and hide until I make it 12 weeks.

The only thing I do that helps just a tiny bit is to keep busy at work, read a lot, watch silly movies on t.v., and go to bed early (so the worry will be over when the day is over)...OH - and I eat like crazy because it makes me happy.

I wish you luck on your next scan. And just know that you don't have to give up...

[stillfrazzled]

Hi again,

Have had a nice afternoon out with DS, and it did take my mind off things a bit. But the closer I got to home the more miserable I get and down I go again. Due back at work tomorrow, really can't face it although is probably best thing for me.

[stillfrazzled]

Hours away, or would be there like a shot. Thank you.

[barley2]

Hello-
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. Not knowing one way or the other is so awful. I had a similar experience last year at 8 weeks and unfortunately it did turn out to be a second missed miscarriage in 4 months for me. I know how devastating it is even if lots of other people just don't get it especially if you already have a dc. I do also have a friend whose son measured small without a hb and turned out ok- but still small and born slightly early. I hope that this is the case for you. If it does turn out to be another mc push for all the help you can get. In the end we went to see a private consultant who did more extensive tests than the NHS and found out that we did have a problem. I am now 30 weeks pregnant but still super paranoid. You are also right to focus on your son as I found so much comfort in being with my dd and planning lots of treats for both of us. Good luck

[stillfrazzled]

Thanks barley. You're right, other people just don't get it.

I asked at the EPU what happens when this does turn out to be another mc, and they don't do anything till you've had three.

AND the nurse told me my first one didn't count as was so early and wasn't confirmed by scan.

I said yes it was a pg, she said no it wasn't, I said you can't get a false positive, and she said yes you can.

So now also feeling furious and dismissed and not happy at prospect of doing this twice more. Am heartbroken, TBH, and we can't afford private care.

[champagneanddaisys]

Hi still frazzled, saw you on another post and im sorry your still going through such a hard time.

Im having almost exactly the same troubles as you at the mo. Had early bleeding wich resulted in me having 2 scans, 1st one they could see preg but no detail and then second 1 a week later could see yolk sac.

I was 7 weeks by my dates at thet scan so she said there should have been a heartbeat but wasnt one

lady in early preg said that for this to be a viable preg I would have had to concive the day before or the day my period was due.

But cant help but think that in that case why did i get a BFP 2 days later.

God I so know how bad you feel, its the waiting and the constant knicker checking!!! I feel like this is going on forever.

My folow up scans not till next tue, when she will tell me if its heartbeat or no heartbeat.... Whens yours?