My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant since we got married 2 years ago. I am 27 and my husband is 30 and we are in a loving and happy relationship. I am now 19 weeks pregnant and found out when I was 5 weeks but the problem is that I'm not excited at all. When I took the pregnancy tests at the beginning and they both came out positive I was stunned as we had been trying for so long with nothing happening and I was convinced there was something wrong with me but I said all the right words about how much I was looking forward to it etc. However, even after the 12 week scan I found myself having to fake excitement. I have even felt the baby moving around within the last couple of weeks and whilst it was exciting initially, now I just feel indifferent again. I have always wanted to be a Mum and despite the usual money worries, I know that my husband and I are ready to do this but now that I am actually pregnant, I find myself scared and almost filled with dread. I worry about every little thing from how on earth we are going to make ends meet when the baby gets here (we have enough trouble with just the 2 of us) to whether my husband will still notice me and will I ever have a life separate from being a mother? Does this make me a terrible person and does it mean that I'm going to be a terrible mother? Mine wasn't the best and I really don't want to repeat her mistakes as I know how much damage indifference can do.
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