agonising about nuchal scan

[lumpasmelly]

I'm 11w + 6d pregnant today, and due to have my nuchal scan next week at the Fetal Medicine centre. This is my third baby, so I should know the ropes by now, but I am still worried about next weeks scan. The crux of the problem is that DH and I are having a difference of opinions over having a CVS....his view is that because I am 37 and he is 39, and we have 2 healthy children already, he doesn't want to take any risks with anything being wrong with the child (sorry - I know that having a child with learning difficulties still brings joy, but having worked in this field before I know it it not something that we would find easy). He's a very practical person, and he tends to approach things in quite a scientific manner, and I think he views the CVS as a good diagnostic tool - whereas, all I can think about is the 1 in 100 chance of miscarriage that it poses (and I've had some spotting in the first trimester so this makes the odds of miscarriage even worse I think).....I've tried to suggest that we wait to see what the nuchal says, but his view is that it is unlikely to be that great due to my age, and rather than picking a cut off point, we should just agree to do it.
BTW, we had a CVS with DS1 as the nuchal came out 1/71 so it was a no-brainer....didn't bother with DS2 as odds were 1/6500....so we are familiar with the procedure and DH thinks that the Prof nicolaides is an expert and we will be in good hands.....so why can't I stop myself from thinking that to do this would be unfair to this baby, as we would never have considered having a CVS as a matter of course with our other children? (and I was 35 when I had the last one, so it's not like I was a spring chicken then either...). I don't want this to turn into a fight and I sort of see where he is coming from but......

[echops]

Hello - so sorry to hear that you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't really have any advice to offer except to let you know that I had a CVS at 13.2 weeks (this was after getting poor nuchal blood test results back - 1:43). I'm not sure what your hospital cut off date is for CVS but I believe quite a few do it at 13 weeks (which should allow you to have the nuchal scan results first).

[FluffyCoo]

Hi lumpasmelly

The whole issue of screening and testing is such an emotional minefield isn't it? I understand your DH's point of view, but it is an invasive procedure (happening to your body, not his after all!!) so surely waiting an extra week for the bloods would be a worthwhile exercise if it could potentially make all of the associated worry avoidable? Even the NT scan itself will be able to give you some indication straight away from the measurement, perhaps even that may give you the information you need to decide either way?

Difficult not to turn it into a row I know, but worth sticking to your guns I think - if only for your peace of mind.

Good luck!

[FluffyCoo]

By the way, for what it's worth, a friend of mine bulldozed his wife into CVS - in hindsight he is disgusted with himself for forcing the issue and putting her through the additional (and, as it tuned out, unnecessary) stress. Im sure any caring hubby would be the same...

[PrettyCandles]

It is true that Prof Nicolaides is an expert and you would be in good hands if you were in his clinic. Nonetheless it is not a no-brainer at your age! I was 40 when I was pg with our 3rd dc, and still had a very low risk nuchal result.

His argument is illogical, after all, you were older with ds2 than with ds1, therefore higher risk, yet had a lower risk result.

If you need to know, then having the nuchal is the no-brainer. It is far less invasive and definitely less risky than CVS.

If he needs to be logical and scientific, then he needs to base his argument on logic and science!

[MidgeMungoAndMary]

I think you should have the NT scan and then decide whether to have a CVS based on the results...

'he doesn't want to take any risks with anything being wrong with the child'

this is a flawed argument because there are many disabilities that cannot be detected in utero and bog standard LDs (without DS) is one such example.

Good luck with your scan.

[lumpasmelly]

You are all right - I think that once he sees the baby on the screen he will change his attitude (fingers crossed!!)....it's just so stressful isn't it, but then again, I suppose it's what we sign up for when we have babies!!!!

[traceybath]

I've just had dc3 at 37.

My nuchal results this time were the lowest for all 3 dc's at about 1 in 8000 so your DH is wrong to think that you'll necessarily have poor results.

I personally would wait and see what the nuchal results are.

Good luck!

[cece]

I have just had DC3 at the age of 42. DH and I had a disagreemnt around this issue too. Although ours was slightly different as I didn't want to have the nuchal scan, whereas he did. We still hadn't decided when we went for our 12 week scan. In the end the sonographer said she needed to know as she was about to start! So I said no and it didn't get done.

I didn't want the scan as I felt there is no way I would have a CVS or amnio due to the mc risk, so felt it was unnecessary angst.

As for your case, I think you should have the scan and decide based on the facts. 39 doesn't always mean a high risk result.

[mustbemadno3]

lumpasmelly like the name! I know exactly what you mean this is my third and I am 35, I had never heard of this scan before, it didnt exist with the others! I sound like a dinosaur!! We are definatley going for the scan, we are both in agreement about it and the consequences. But I suppose that is easier said than done if something is wrong? However, food for thought...both my dc were born healthy and this is what happened.
My youngest who is 8 has been ill on and off since dec 05 (touch wood and thank god he has always pulled through)The poor boy has been through alot. He is now epileptic and suffers from status e, so he takes lots of meds, things are tough on him and on the rest of the family. He also has adhd which is a very difficult syndrome to understand and to live with. Most people poo poo it, but it really is real! I really dont think I could cope with having a child with learning difficulties/disabilities alongside everything else. So for me I have to have the scan and thank goodnes my dh is agreement too.

[lumpasmelly]

mustbemadtodo3, so sorry to hear that your youngest has been ill....it just goes to show that you can have a healthy baby and there are no guarantees that it will be plain sailing for the rest of their lives. I suppose it's a risk that you take when you have children! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and I hope we all have great scans!

[sleepwhenidie]

Hi - you get your combined nuchal test results straight away at the FMC so you won't have to wait days/weeks to find out and then make a decision, you can do so at the centre and discuss them immediately with Prof N - if you decide to go ahead they can do the CVS straight away then. I think you should keep an open and optimistic mind until you get the results and then see how you feel - think you will find Prof N very helpful if you are still undecided. Good luck.

[sleepwhenidie]

by the way - the Prof is at the clinic on Weds only, so what I said about discussing with him would of course only apply if you are there on Weds.

[Chynah]

You can check with FMC when the Prof will be there as he is sometimes there on other days. He did my CVS last Monday

[onemoretimetoday]

I am 35 and had my nuchal there last week. They are so thorough and so good that if your results are good then I'd really not feel under pressure for a CVS