Mumsnet Talk

Oh I have so many silly unattainable ideas but I don't want to make some of the mistakes I made last time.

Some of mine:

1. Succeed at bf. Failed miserably last time and want to try harder!

2. Chill out more - cuddle my baby to sleep instead of thinking they always need to settle themselves.

3. Try not to have an epidural - in fact am even thinking this time of a homebirth!

4. Feed on demand instead of clock-watching.

5. Try not to use a dummy.

I shall look at this thread in a year and laugh I'm sure!

not worry about routines and what it says in the bl**dy books

use a sling instead of a pram

not worry so much if I hate breastfeeding again and stop without feeling guilty

do baby led weaning

maybe co-sleep

all in all be a bit more of a hippy this time!

Yes mine are all quite hippified as well... this is what mumsnet has done to me!

- I'm not going to even try to stay athletic and in shape for this pregnancy. I nearly killed myself trying to keep up an exercise routine last time, and between the hyperemesis and the SPD, it made for an unpleasant pregnancy. This time, I'm staying on the couch.

- I'm also going to try not to worry so much about losing the baby weight. It comes off eventually, and for the first year, there are better things to worry about.

- I won't panic if my child isn't slightly interested in solids at six months. Or seven months. Or eight...

- I won't listen to anything my health visitor tells me to do, but will promptly head off and do the opposite - especially where breastfeeding is involved.

- In fact, I won't bother visiting the health visitor with worries at all, and will head straight for the doc.

- I will not give birth at the same hospital as last time. Actually, I don't even want to give birth the same way - I'm going to campaign for an elective section because natural childbirth wound up being the worst experience of my entire life, and if they won't give me one, I will hire a doula to help protect me from the vagaries of an understaffed and overworked NHS maternity ward.

- If I encounter the same consultant as last time, I will make a real effort to free a leg from the stirrups and kick him in the bollocks.

Get clued up about bf so I can try & avoid the problems I had last time.

Not half kill myself working ridiculously hard to prove I'm some kind of superwoman.

Refuse all ante-natal testing. Just scans for me this time round. Not having my pregnancy ruined by needless worry because of tests which have been proven to be unreliable.

Don't let so called medical professionals tell me I'm not in labour to the extent that I was 7 cms dilated the first time I could convince someone to examine me.

Relax a bit more about the whole thing.

Just do the same as last time, admit theyre the boss and do as Little Madam wishes, it all comes good in the end!

Ahh... what a lovely thread.

I'm going to do my damndest to BF... Mix fed DS from birth (on advice from Paed) and deeply regretted not trying harder.

Other than that, am very happy with the way DS and I coped (we were on our own together! Still are!! )

I'm sure having two (DS will only be 13 months old) will add to the pressure, so hopefully, I'll keep my sanity too!!

Tamlin I laughed so hard at kicking your consultant in the bollocks!

I am so much happier and sure of myself as a person this time round. Also am very lucky to have a wonderful partner who I know will make a fantastic father. I was a very stressy unnatural and detached mum 1st time around but still managed to create a gorgeous, bright sunny little girl.

On that rationale i'm taking it as it comes and putting all my trust in my instinctual abilities.

I'm sure as hell not going to buy so much uselss crap.

:D

Mine are much the same Picante.... relax more, feed on demand instead of feeling the need to write down every single feed, amount, nappies etc in a notebook and just enjoy it all more this time around!

Oh yes all the useless crap... why did I think I'd need one of those nappy bins?!

Will do most things the same as before.

Prob won't be able to bf for as long as I'll have to go back to work sooner this time.

believe in my instincts. Midwives are not always right in spite of experience. My DS was breech right from the start and my protests were dismissed by everyone - apart from the student midwife that spotted the foot poking out by which time it was too late to do anything but hope for the best. (and I did get the best - although it involved a week of touch and go in SCBU and months of worrying that he was brain damaged)

Great idea!
-I'll get help sooner if I have problems bf-to avoid the 6wks of agony from last time!
-have a homebirth (hopefully)
-try not to let baby fall to sleep on the breast all the time (in dds case this happened for over 2yrs!) and try to encourage a bit of self settling.
-in the early days if baby cries feed it-think that was a major prob with dd as I listened to all the mw/hv/mil crap!
-make the most of the early days
-except help from other people-especially mil but only with cleaning, shopping, cooking looking after dd
-be more brave and stop people from coming round too early on
-stop mil from treating the baby as her own-I remember when dd was a week old sleeping in her moses basket downstairs mil invited her bf round and when straight over to dd picked her out and handed her to her bf-
-make mysel leave the house every day early on-even if just to walk to the shop
-I'm sure I could come up with loads more!

Things I would do the same:
-continue with bf even through the bad days/weeks
-have baby in with us for as long as pos.
-use the sling all the time
-babyled wean
-feed on demand
-use cloth nappies after a month
-not use a dummy even if desperate!
-there are prob. mkre o these as well!

Will be quite interesting to look back at this and see what actually happens

I thought I may try a routine this time - feed every free hours (instead of on demand), go with reuseable nappies ( instead of disposables), establish a night time routine (not let the baby dictate). In short, stop beinga 'hippie Ma'. but why change a good thing? My DD (2.9yrs) is brilliant intelligant, loving, fun, energetic child - and I would have ten more like her!!!

Ps. Always take HV advice with a large pinch of salt....

Try and get througha homebirth without transferring
No epidural no matter what
Never bother with the HV
Lie to everyone about what my child does as I don't really want everyone's opinion on why my 4 minth old isn't sleeping through.

Chill ooooouuuuuuutttt

Not care what it says in the book,

Eat loads while BFing to keep up milk,

Not feel like I would be giving poison, if topping up with formula seems a sensible option.

Let the baby lie down alone a bit from day one,

Use a sling.

Thinsg WILL be different anyway, won't they? We will have DC1 around and the world won't revolve around the baby!

Not bother going to get weighed every week

oh days...im due in august and my dd will b 1 in july...

different:
not listen to all the crap ppl tel me abt co-sleeping, feedin her to much.

being chilled out ( i was quite alot), not worryin when she isnt sleeping, wen she is sleeping, writing every feed down and nappy change, checkin to see if she is breathin and wakin her up...get DH mor einvolved..not tinkin im super women...tinkin she is colic, jus coz she cried...ppl tellin me its ok to give top up, wen iw asnt strugglin with bf

when rotuine get establish, get bubs into dd routine...

same:
bf
blw
co-sleeping for first 6 weeks only.

regaridn labour- not listen to midwifes who tink i am not in labour..other then that... :D

Co Sleep (I have got one of those bedside cribs)

Use sling more

Be more relaxed (have thrown out all baby books)

Be less obsessed about daytime routine

Cuddle and hold baby more and worry less about self soothing

Not worry as much about body image. I have created a beautiful little girl and I know the weight will drop off eventually

Most Importantly not let my toxic parents ruin the experience for me

Easier said than done I know (I have DS aged 3 to think about as well)

Sounds like we've all turned into hippies.

get a sling
remember 'this too shall pass'
bf for longer (did 8 months last time, will attempt a year this time)
stay at home for longer during labour (will still have hospital birth though)
not buy as much general crap

It's been 12 years since my first so don't remember a lot of what I did. This time though life is quieter and dp supportive so hopefully it will all just be a lot less of a struggle. Also being 31 instead of 19 will probably make a world of difference.

- Not give the baby lots of toys/stimulation. The world is enough.

- Not bother bathing it so much, a top and tail will do.

- Try and sit back each day and look, just look, at my baby

- Get out and about as much as possible (3 year old will see to that!)

Otherwise pretty happy with how it's going with DS (co-sleep, bf, carry in a sling etc), so much of the same really.