Can anyone suggest a good sling for man to use?

[lollipopmother]

My partner really wants to carry the baby in a sling of some sort but all the ones that I've seen aren't suitable - I think he's expecting a carrier on his front rather than on actual sling or wrap (too feminine). I've heard that the Baby Bjorn ones put the baby in a bad position.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a carrier that we can both use?

Thanks.

[CatIsSleepy]

I hadn't heard that about the baby bjorns-my dh used ours a lot to carry dd about in. she seemed to like it and generally went to sleep...(hooray )

[Romy7]

we used baby bjorns for all 3 dcs - we had no problems at all - dh used them a lot - even trogged up mountains with dd1 on his front. don't really understand the 'bad position' thing though? dcs used to be awake or asleep quite happily, and they are quite versatile, facing in or out, with lots of support... excellent for dog walking or any other activity - very secure.

[lollipopmother]

Well I heard that because the baby is held by a strap between their legs it puts pressure on their pelvis which is bad for them. I have no idea if this is actually true or not though, as I've never seen a Baby Bjorn sling, nor used one.

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Can they be used from birth by the way?

[CatIsSleepy]

we used ours from birth more or less

[Romy7]

used ours from about a week old.
that's interesting about the pelvic thing - didn't cause any issues here - i suppose if they were in it 24/7 it could cause issues with formation of hip socket etc, but they say similar stuff about car seats -oooo, it will damage your babies back in that position, they need to lie flat... and by the time that hip sockets are developing properly, baby is usually weight bearing anyway, so not in a sling for extended periods. ho hum. in fact, the position that the baby bjorn holds tinies in was really beneficial for two of mine, who suffered from various wind/ colic/ reflux type scenarios, and even when they weren't in the sling i held them in the same position!
didn't affect any of my 3 (two of them are dancers now lol) and tbh i've never heard it before - i'd still buy one and use it if there was ever a dc4! it sounds a bit like a counter argument from a 'wear one of my wrap around slings' manufacturer as a ploy to worry you into steering clear of an alternative! you could always ring baby bjorn info line and ask them?

whichever support you use, i think variety is the key in any case - you aren't going to be keeping the baby in any sling from dawn until dusk. even if you end up wearing it a lot in the house (i did a fair bit) you're still getting them out to change/ play/ feed etc.
try lots and see which one suits you and dh.

[Wisknit]

We use a didymos wpven wrap. husband doesn't mind using it cos colours not 'girly'.
It's wonderful.

[MrsBadger]

DH has a hotsling (ie a basic pouch) and loved it as no fiddly straps / buckles / ties - just stuff baby in and go.

[cmotdibbler]

My Dh uses a MeiTai very happily. Baby is lovely and snuggled up in them, and are better positioned than in a BabyBjorn. Will also last longer as you can use them on front back and side till at least 2 (depending on size of child)

[FeelingDeviant]

We had a Baby Bjorn and not only does it kill your back, but isn;t very good for your baby either as they don't 'sit' properly in them - just suspend them in air via pelvic floor.
Switched to very man-friendly ergo which is excellent.

[accessorizequeen]

what about a mei tai, lollipop - they come in loads of colours & patterns and can be adjusted to suit you or dp. Some fine from birth such as the eden carrier or perhaps a babyhawk?

[katiepotatie]

DD loved being in her baby bjorn, DH used it a lot when she was wee.

[Romy7]

this is what makes me slightly - if it is so bad for a baby, why have so many parents and babies used them with no problems at all? I think it's personal taste tbh - whatever you are happy with and suits you, dh and tiny. didn't have any back problems here.

[sundew]

we used a wilkinet - we isn't supposed to have the same pelvic problems - however my dh needed me to tie it round him as he struggled with the straps - typical man

We both found it really comfy even when our dds got heavy - and I could easily tie it up by myself.

I have had friends who have loved the baby bjorn and another who hated it - it gave her backache.

[Kif]

ignore it - baby bjorns are fine - and it is deffo dh favourite. Full of reassuring 'clicks' when you put the baby in, not too much fabric, nice manly colour. much less prissy than the pram.

My ds 2 is spending 12 hours a day in his sling at the mo - so for myself I use a tricotti which has a lyind down position. Dh will typically carry him for an hour or two at the shops, so i don't think it is as important.

The one thing that i will say - this is my pet peeve when i see people out and about with baby bjorns - TIGHTEN THE BLEEDING SLING PROPERLY. (good to get that off my chest). I think the 'suspended by the crotch' argument doesn't really apply if you've the baby pulled really close in to you. Then he's evenly supported along the torso and secured at the crotch iyswim.

[Romy7]

agree with that kif - though did laugh at the 'good to get that off chest' comment - i think that's what the ones who don't tighten it are trying to do....

[ib]

Dh did use the bb, I hated it. We had to keep ds in that position due to his reflux, so until he could sit up it was the only way he could play.

Dh also happily used a ring sling and the ergo - the only one he hated was the wrap style one.

[accessorizequeen]

the impression I get is that a lot of women find the bb uncomfortable (I hate ours as do various friends) and men generally really like it (dp loves ours). Seems that women with boobs really find it uncomfortable. So not necessarily great for a couple to share as the OP is looking for. (but if buying the bb, I think the active is a lot more supportive). thoroughly agree with Kif, I cannot understand why so many people don't do them up properly - how much pressure must it be on your back?!

[lollipopmother]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions, I've had a good look at all of them. I think the only thing I could bring myself to get is the Baby Bjorn or the Wilkinet, the other ones just aren't my style, and certainly wouldn't be my dp's either.

One thing I do worry about a bit is that he's a big man, do these carriers still work if you've got a big tummy?

[accessorizequeen]

dp is quite a big bloke (17 1/2 neck!) and the bb is fine on him. The wilkinet has v.long straps so ought to be fine too but I've never owned one.

[notcitrus]

Familybaby #2 and dad are happy with a Baby Bjorn Active - friends who had used slings said make sure you get the BB Active as it has a hip strap to put the weight on your hips, like a rucksack, whereas the basic BB doesn't and does your shoulders in.

The BBA said for use from 8 lbs.
NCT tutor said the hip thing isn't an issue, but if concerned the Wilkinet is similar and has approved sitting-structure bit.
Like you I want something with idiot-proof straps - I'm not trusting young Squirmy to my knots!

[lollipopmother]

Accessorizequeen - Thanks, my dp is an 18 neck so I'm grateful for your input!

I think it's a case of trying the Baby Bjorn and the Wilkinet to see which one feels nicest - have you all got yours off the internet or did you get them from a shop that you could try them on in?

[accessorizequeen]

I think mothercare carry both? They're quite common, esp the bb. There might be some on sale via mumsnet boards.

[lollipopmother]

Accessorizequeen Thanks, I'm looking on Mothercare website now, I think I prefer the look of the Wilkinet, they have one with XL straps which I think will do well for my partner. Now I've just got to build up the courage to spend nearly 50 quid on something I don't know whether we'll use or not!