Sex is painful - has anyone else experienced this?

[cyteen]

Apologies in advance for the necessary overshare...just need some advice about a flange issue and am wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing.

I'm currently 26 weeks pg and experience a burning sensation in my vagina every time DP and I try and have sex. I don't get it any other time, just through penetration. I know that things are a bit different down there at the moment due to the pressure of the baby and all the extra blood surging about(had a look with a hand mirror some weeks ago, yikes ), but this is quite annoying as obviously I would like to be able to enjoy the occasional shag before the baby arrives and we have to start planning our sex lives weeks in advance

Lube made a marginal difference, as did using a condom, but on the whole it's just really uncomfortable and makes it hard to relax and enjoy it. Can anyone advise me? And will things go back to normal (or relatively normal) after the birth?

[mummy2bsoon]

ahh i get that, it also hurts wen i pee straight after, like i have to hold onto something, and im like OMDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[cyteen]

Oh well, it's good to know that it's not just me at least!

I know what you mean about feeling weird cupcake; for ages I had no libido at all as I was finding it unexpectedly hard to adjust to the changes in my body (not just my own anymore, breasts and vagina having new nurturing connotations etc.), so I did wonder if that was contributing to the problem. But lately my libido has come back and it was me who leapt on DP last night, yet the problem is still apparent.

[Lulumama]

things should feel more pleasureable due to the increased blood flow, not painful and stinging. perhaps you should mention it to your MW?

[cc21]

Seem to remember a very strange uncomfortable feeling whilst pregs with DD - like it was hurting but not iyswim.

Currently 12 wks pregs & sex is last thing on my mind DH is being very patient

[cyteen]

Thanks Lulumama, I think I will - was going to mention it at my last appt but she threw me by having a student mw with her, so I ended up getting all flustered. Have moved house now so need to register with new mw - that'll be a treat for her "Do you have any questions?" "Yes, why is my flange burning when I have sex?"

It's annoying because whenever I've tried to find info about this in books or online, everywhere just says that many women find sex more pleasurable in the 2nd trimester. There's no advice about what to do if you find it less so. Maybe it's karmic payback for enjoying it so much before

[Lulumama]

are you emptying your bladder ok> not burning when you wee or anything?

[cyteen]

Yeah, weeing is fine, there's no burning or pain and no trouble emptying.

[mummy2bsoon]

random, lulumama, it hurts wen i pee, straight after sex... but then its ok...

normal?

[BorgLady]

I have exactly the same problem which means DP and I haven't done it more than three times the whole pregnancy.

I mentioned it to my MW but she didn't seem concerned, she thought it was probably me tensing up because I was worried about hurting the baby.

Like you, lube and condoms helped a bit but we decided its not worth the effort so we're just doing "other things" now iyswim!

If you find out anything more from your mw, do post it here, I'd love to find out.

[Lulumama]

any stinging and burning should be checked out, really...more athletic sex can make your bits and bobs feeel a bit bruised, but stinging is not good. make sure you always wee after sex. and cranberry juice is good too .

your MWs , students or not, will not turn a hair if you mention sex and / or stinging fanjos!

[BorgLady]

Might mention it again as I will probably get a different mw next time I go anyway. The problem is that I suffer from panic attacks and so everything I raise to do with my health tends to be brushed off as something to do with me not relaxing.

I've had the buggers for 15 years, so I know the difference. They haven't found any bladder infections though, and I haven't had any other symptoms.

[gillythekid]

I've been refraining from sex due to this too. I was waiting for the randy middle trimester but it never came! if I consciously relax I think it's better but still uncomfortable maybe due to my size at 33 weeks!

[cyteen]

Grrr So after asking my midwife and GP, who both suggested thrush/UTI as a possible cause and provided treatment for both, I got up courage and energy enough to make my move on DP yesterday only to find that...IT STILL FECKING HURTS. Am really annoyed and a bit sad tbh, I really thought that the burning sensation would be a thing of the past and we could have sex like normal people.

Now I am (a) worried that my fanjo will never go back to normal, and (b) concerned that if it is a symptom of something else, that something else is still undiagnosed. Don't really know where to go from here, and am still sexually frustrated!

Rant over

[notcitrus]

I'm 30 weeks now and my sex drive decided to kick in about 6 weeks ago, although sneakily without giving me any energy to do much with it!

I've had some burning sensations and found that we need a) huge amounts of sugar-free water-based lube, b) go very slowly and carefully, because all my relevant bits are swollen - usually me on top because then I can control the glacial pace, and c) not assuming that we can go from one position to another without loads more foreplay. And that my whole body may change from one day to the next...

Took us a few not-so-successful tries but we seem to be getting the hang of it. Bugger the books though - they claimed I was supposed to get less tired in the second trimester. I did eventually, around week 25, but only because I gave up work!

[Pendulum]

cyteen

I wonder if I can shed some light

I have had exactly the sensations you describe, firstly after my DD1 was born, and then again in the third trimester with DD2 and for about 6 mths afterwards.

The first time around I was mystified, I had had a caesarean so could not understand why it was excruciatingly painful to try penetration. After seeing several doctors I finally got a diagnosis of a condition called "vaginal vestibulitis", also sometimes called vulvodynia. The best way I can describe it is as a kind of hyper-sensitivity and there are various theories about what causes it, but it is NOT a UTI or any other kind of infection. I'm not saying you have the same thing, but it might be worth mentioning to your doc as it took them a while to identify it in me (had infections, etc ruled out). I thought I was going mad and that I would never be able to have sex, have another baby or use tampons again, it really affected my relationship and I'm sure it contributed to my post-natal depression after DD1.

I could write you an essay about this but here a re a few key things that helped me:

• there is lots of info about on Google etc and also a Yahoo group which might be helpful to check your symptoms against.

• a classic indicator apparently is if the pain is especially acute when you press to one side of the vagina from just inside the entrance

• diet can apparently help- I avoided white wine like the plague (not that I imagine you are drinking much ATM!), also tea and various other foods. Although I'm more or less OK now, I still get an attack from a glass of champagne

• I also avoided using soap in that area (I used aqueous cream to wash) and stopped washing my hair in the shower as it can exacerbate the irritation

• I was prescribed some anaesthetic lube (yes really!) to help me have sex- this didn't really do it for me or DH though, we decided to just wait it out and be imaginative...There are other drug therapies, incl. antidepressants I think, but I wasn't comfortable taking them while b'feeding.

• wearing skirts and loose trousers (no jeans) helped the soreness.

And some reassurance (I hope)- both times my symptoms have lasted about a year in all, but they did go away eventually.

Sorry for the essay but I really feel this is something that many docs are not well up on and it caused me so much anxiety!!

[Alexa808]

Have nearly the same issue cyteen, and am getting frustrated because I'd love to have sex yet it really feckin hurts.

The pain is on the bit of the vag which borders on the perineum. If dh touches it it hurts, also, just inside the inner labiae, so no fingering at all. Sry TMI.

I feel so sore yet no UTI or thrush. Quite weird really. Also when baby is moving it's a total turn off.

Thanks pendulum, will google and check.

[madmouse]

sounds like your hormones have made you a bit dry, or your discharge is watery. plenty of foreplay required . good excuse for a lovely massage or it could be thrush. do you have any other symptoms?

[Pendulum]

sorry- try googling vulvar vestibulitis, not vaginal- gives far more results.

[bikerunski]

What's sex then....?