now i am on mat leave, i suddenly don't know what to do with myself

[beforesunrise]

well i went on mat leave last wednesday, at 34 weeks. this is my second baby (dd is 2 and 2 months) and i was just getting really knackered all the time and my heart just wasn't in it at all. it was a struggle to even get to the office, let alone do any work. i have worked my behind off these last 6 months and just had nothing left to give.

because of extreme tiredness and previous experience of finding really hard to cope with newborn (i think i escaped pnd by a whisker, and sometimes i wonder whether i wasn't actually a bit depressed) dh and i have decided to keep our existing chidcare arrangements (nanny) until the summer- she is coming fewer hours but still coming 4 days a week.

well, now i am at a bit of a loss on what to do with myself. i suddenly feel much better physically, and i wonder whether i should have just worked for longer. suddenly occurred to me that it may be another 5-6 weeks before baby shows up- gulps- and there's only so many naps, yoga classes, lunches with friends etc i can take. yes there is lots to organise for new baby and also sort out things like remortgaging etc (good timing on that...) but i am also starting to feel guilty that i am being lazy and spoiled with nanny etc while in fact my savings disappear...

i am spending more time with dd in the mornings and evenings which is lovely but also wondering whether i shouldn't spend more time swith her...

basically i don;'t know what i want people to tell me- perhaps give me reasons to stop feeling guilty etc... i am so confused!

[MrsTittleMouse]

Do not feel guilty and do not stop relaxing. You will need all your resources in the next few months.

[moondog]

Good God,are you mad?
Enjoy every minute,no dammit, every second.

It will all seem like a highly improbable dream in a few weeks.

[addictedtoharibo]

I know exactly how you feel. I felt like this last time on mat leave and actually felt like it when ds was little too. I mean I was busy in the sense of feeding/changing/burping but compared to work and my old life it was a big shock.

This pregnancy I am nearly on my knees with exhaustion but as soon as I give myself time off (with ds still in nursery) I havent got a clue what to do with myself!

Perhaps work out some kind of loose routine for your days - so you always get up in the morning at a reasonable time ish and go out and do something - coffee/shops/walk? Take up some hobby you always quite fancied? I find it I find myself something to do (eg some reading) I am quite happy to procrastinate and do nothing...its the thought of doing nothing that bothers me!

xx

[caramelbunny]

I think it's like when you go on holiday for 2 weeks and it takes you a while to get into the swing of lying around doing nothing all day.

Enjoy yourself! You've got a busy and tiring few months ahead of you, so put your feet up, have naps and leisurely lunches, and concentrate on growing a baby!

[vicsta]

You probably feel so well now BECAUSE you've stopped working. If you had carried on you'd have run yourself into the ground. I've felt rough as hell for the last few weeks. Took a few days of last week and feel completely recharged - however - I am determined to slow down now. I didn't realise just how tired I was. Jobs/savings etc mean nothing when compared to your health, and your health is utmost in caring your children. Enjoy it all ! Really, I don't think its possible to have too many naps, is it?