Am I being too sensitive ?!!? GRRRRR ... Being overweight and pregnant

[Yimmy]

Hi everyone, hope you are all well. 8 weeks in yaay - I was so happy last week but I had a really really naff weekend - we (other half and I) had arguments all weekend after he made a comment about me already looking 9 months after I showed him a picture in a book ! (I'm overweight) which really upset me - this was after I had been to get my first maternity bra and the women who fitted me up couldn't believe I was only 8 weeks and made huffing noises - all because I am overweight (always have been) but I did a 56 mile bike ride last year and the race for life and I'm healthy so why are people so cruel and think you have no feelings or am I being too sensitive and need to grow an extra 3 layers of skin?!?! I don't want to be stressed as I don't want my little splodge to feel it but it really hacks me off !!! I am watching what I eat and going to the gym and yes the weight issue did concern me at first (read up on the complications) but I feel stigmatized and now I am dreading whats going to come (comments etc) when I get bigger :-(( I thought my DP was being an insensitive p*k especially as I am coming off the anti depressants since finding out I'm pregnant and was feeling so happy and thought I was doing well, he now keeps telling me that I need to be on them as he doesn't think I can cope and he expects me to get PND - ARGHGHGHHHH !!! Things got so bad between us in the space of 24hours that I stopped at my bro's house and had to involve my folks who now think I should get shut of him ....sorry to go on but had to get this out my system

[AnnaVR]

Hi Yimmy, when you're pregnant, EVERYONE seems to have a view on how big or small you are for your dates. It isn't just you. Get prepared for comments like 'Are you sure there aren't two in there?' and be prepared to laugh them off. As long as you and baby are healthy nothing else matters. Talk about your concerns re depression with your GP if you find him/her sympathetic - if not, get another GP! When you are calm, tell your DP that you really need him to be supportive and positive. Hopefully he will rise to the challenge.
Good luck.

[Jackstini]

Oh Yimmy don't worry, everyone puts on weight at different times during pregnancy.
With dd I was asked when I was due by a client - I was only 9 weeks and hadn't told anyone yet!
Now is not the time for dieting anyway, just keep eating plenty of healthy stuff. You are not being oversensitive - your hormones will do that for you though!
Sounds like your dp was a bit of a tw*t at the weekend, maybe he is worried too about you coping but it came out wrong - men are great at getting worry and anger mixed up.... How are things between you now?

[Yimmy]

Thanks Jackstini and AnnaVR your comments were most comforting. he did call me when I got to work and said that he loves me (despite all the things that were said), but he just thinks I'm a nutcase just because of the way I reacted to his comments when I really wanted him to be more supportive (even though I said it could be hormones etc) - and now he says that it not good for the baby and thinks I won't be a good mum etc yet its alright for him to scream in my face and saying horrid things...I got to the point that I felt like I would go it alone if need be - I can't be doing with a nice happy environment one minute and then a hammer house of horror the next !!! .

I think I will go and see him tonight and try and have a talk about things without it becoming a screaming match and even stay at my bro's for another night just to clear my head.. I acknowledge the fact this is a major event in both our lives that will change everything but I want it to be happy ... I guess he's still getting used to the idea of being a Dad (and THAT means responsibility) and Jackstini, your comment about men with worry and anger is SO true

[kerioke]

aww chick! dont worry about it, you are going to be a little more sensitive right now, but your feelings were bound to be a little dented at least after his comments!

you will get comments like this all the way through, i am overweight and unhealthy! and until my bump was completely obvious i would retort at peoples comments... if they asked how long i had left or how many i was having i would say 'im sorry but i'm not pregnant' then see who is feeling silly!

it is a hard time of pregnancy during the first few weeks, but just try to ignore the comments you recieve and think about what is on its way!

[gingercat12]

If it is any consolation, I look like ready to pop and I am only in my 15th week. But I am dead proud of my bump , as we all should! I eat heathily, and will soon start to exercise again. That is all we can do. So please, do not be upset. People sometimes say stupid things.

[Sarahjct]

Hi Yimmy

Men are mostly insensitive rrssholes - mine has made a few comments that he's got a kicking for. Problem is he's super skinny and has no idea about weight issues. So he says things and he doesn't realise that they're hurtful. Then he's really apologetic afterwards and he is learning to watch what he says.

I'm size 22 and 23 weeks and am horrified by the size that I was before I started, never mind with a huge bump stuck on the front! But nothing that anyone says is as important as what you're doing at the moment. I'm really sensitive usually but I'm trainig myself to let it all slide off me. You could be a size 6 and you'd still get people saying stupid things. And us women are the ones who are supposed to lose our marbles during pregnancy...

[NoNickname]

I weighed 14 stone when I became pg with ds and was about a size 20. At 3 months pg, I met up with some old colleagues for the evening. One asked how I was. I said "Fit to drop", meaning I was really tired. He said, "Yes, you do look ready to drop!", meaning I looked 9 months' pg. I was really upset at the time, and like others have said, the pg hormones really didn't help.

But, ultimately, it's everyone else's problem, not yours, and that's how you should view it. If you are fit, and eat healthily, then that's what matters more. But do have a chat with dp so he knows how much he upset you. You deserve the support he can give, and he won't know how upset you are unless you tell him.